Contact from ex... after exactly 6 weeks

[elessar]

So last night was exactly 6 weeks to the date when she went off angry... .  I hadn't even realized it was bad except for the silent treatment I had been receiving since then. In that time I had emailed her twice and messaged her twice. She finally replied one sentence last night "I m fine. u don't have to worry about me". I replied "I am glad. I hope you stay happy"

Getting the silent treatment was killing me. And when it ends so suddenly in a fight and you don't realize its over and then you get the silent treatment... .  its so torturous. If last night was the last I ever heard from her, I am at so much more peace. Knowing that the final 5 second conversation was at least civil.

Knowing BPD, I don't think it is the last I have heard from her. After everything she has done, I find it nearly impossible to forgive her. but I find it also as impossible to ignore/stay angry when I know she is ill. I have promised myself if she ever contacts back, I will not allow her to cross boundaries, i will not allow her to treat me as she pleases. Either it will be with equal respect, or nothing at all. And there cannot even be friendship unless she sees a psychiatrist. I have seen this movie too many times to know how it ends if she doesn't go for help. I don't think I can make that ultimatum, but I have to maintain my distance for my own sake. I will be there for advice or help which any normal human being will do, but I cannot go all in like I always do and get burned again.

This is assuming she contacts again... .  she is still going on the online dating site every day that she has been going to for last 42 days. So God knows what shes been up to. But I think I am make a safe bet that it isn't the last I have heard from her. She will have another explosion about her family or someone else and will come to me. And I hope and pray I have the strength not to fall but be strong. Be there for her as a human being if she asks, but protect myself too.

[LoveNotWar]

N/C is one strategy to protect ourselves and give us time to begin the process of self-reflection and healing. Definitely use it if and when you need it. If you KNOW you dont want to get sucked back into the r/s AND you know you may not have the strength to resist your ex's manipulation N/C is a must!

Be strong... .  

LNW