Was he/she jelous of YOUR life?

[paperlung]

Okay, so my ex-girlfriend had a pretty bad childhood.

Her parents divorced when she was really young and then she and her older sister went to go live with their mom who eventually got into drugs and alcohol. She and her sister were then put into a foster home for two years until the father was able to obtain custody. The reason why they had to go into a foster home instead of living with their father was because the mother had accused him of molesting my ex's older sister, which never proved to be true. My ex told me she moved like 18 times in total. But growing up, she told me never really felt loved. Her father would put her down, not show any affection... .    It was like she didn't even have a mom and dad in her eyes, basically. She dropped out of high school near the end of Grade 8 and her dad didn't even care or bother to involve himself in getting her back on track. So she spent most of her teenage years isolated, and that is when she started cutting and became anorexic. Again, the father never stepped up to the plate to get her help.

Which brings me to my question. Now, my ex would complain a lot about my lifestyle. How I still lived at home with my parents at 22, came home from school/work with a plate of dinner waiting for me made by my mom or dad, school is paid for... .   I explained to her that it's quite common for people my age to live at home still, especially if they are going to school. But she just thought I was still childish, immature, and needed to grow up. She denied ever feeling jealous of my life, but I could sense it. She even told me one of her ex-boyfriends accused her of being jealous over something similar as well. She always wished she had a normal upbringing with two loving parents, so I could definitely understand how she could feel jealous when just comparing my situation to her's.

[mtmc01]

My ex was always jealous or at least envious of my family and how close we all are. She didn't have as tough of an upbringing as yours, but she did endure a nasty divorce and an overbearing mother and distant and submissive father that spawned her BPD and issues. I kept trying to tell her my family was her family now too, but she never really completely acted comfortably around them. My brother never told me this until after, but he always sensed something was "off" with her. She always tensed up and tried WAY too hard. She would constantly complain about her family. And then what did she do? Ditched me and went running to live with her mom again. Which she "hated" before... .  

[paperlung]

My ex was always jealous or at least envious of my family and how close we all are. She didn't have as tough of an upbringing as yours, but she did endure a nasty divorce and an overbearing mother and distant and submissive father that spawned her BPD and issues. I kept trying to tell her my family was her family now too, but she never really completely acted comfortably around them. My brother never told me this until after, but he always sensed something was "off" with her. She always tensed up and tried WAY too hard. She would constantly complain about her family. And then what did she do? Ditched me and went running to live with her mom again. Which she "hated" before... .  

Yeah, I am really close with my family as well, and since she felt that she couldn't relate, there was a problem with our relationship. That we were too different. I, too, tried to tell her that my family was her family. They were really, super kind to her. But she always felt in her mind that they were judging her, thinking she wasn't good enough for me, ect. No matter how hard I tried to reassure her that they didn't think that way, she never truly believed it.

[VeryFree]

Mine had a tough youth also: a mother that didn’t want a child and ignored her as much as possible and a father that was away a lot and didn’t give attention to the situation at home. As a result my stbxw was totally isolated. A stbBPD was created…

During our r/s she seemed jealous at everything that I did. Every nice thing happening to me was a reason to become upset. When I had I nice day at work, she would answer that I not have a serious job. When I got a raise of salary, she started crying, because it was not fair in her eyes (why me and not she?). When I was asked to help somebody (even when it were annoying tasks) she reacted jealous. The only times she seemed to feel good about my situation was when I felt miserable. And even then she overreacted. I recall that early in our r/s a very important person to me died. At that point she was very sad also, but not because of my feelings, but because of her loss of that person. The only thing she could talk about was how that person and she met and what was said and done (she just knew the person a very short while).

In my case everything has allways been about her. And when she didn’t have a role, she took one.

Interesting thing I recently heard: I had a voluntary job, that she didn’t want me to have: according to her it was no fun and she thought it wasn’t worth my trouble. Because of my current situation I quit this job.

Guess who applied for it!

[wanttoknowmore]

Yes. Mine became very jealous in the tail end of our r/s. She started saying "you have everything

perfect in your life. Yoy have a perfect family, your children are perfect... . your health ,your job all so perfect... . you are so lucky... . unlike me... .   you dont deserve me"