All this after 7 days of dating? Really?

[eener03]

I recently had an extremely brief dating relationship (7 days) with someone with BPD, and boy am I sorry I went down that road even for such a short time.  Since I told her I don't want to see her anymore, it has been threats of suicide and self harm, showing up to my home, multiple emails, texts and phone calls.  I have had to delete or blocks online accounts, change my phone number, call the police for well-checks, and call the police when she showed up tonight at my home and would not leave.  This has been going on now for a week.  All this after 7 days of dating?  Really?

Any advice, words of wisdom, etc. would be greatly appreciated.  This situation is maddening!

[paperlung]

Wow, that's pretty extreme behavior. Did she tell you herself she has BPD?   

[jj2121]

Funnily enough this happened with the sister of my ex,who actually went out with one of my friends. He had to get a restraining order against her and it stopped.

[HarmKrakow]

7 days? My goodness. I'm sure some might feel a tad jealous as in they rather would have wasted 7 days as in 7 years :P

As in regards of the best thing you can do... . restraining order ... . effective immediately.

[eener03]

Thanks all, it's good to know that I am not the only this has happened to.  Yes, I agree that 7 days is a drop in the bucket compared to the length of some relationships.  I can't imagine how much worse this would if we had seen each other for longer!  A restraining order is in my near future for sure!

[catnap]

You may also need to let someone at your place of work (HR, your supervisor) know what is going on.   

I am glad that you have involved the police, as it lessens the chances of her filing false accusations against you.  Did she leave before the police arrived? 

[eener03]

Thank you, yes, I have notified my boss, and all the people in my building know.  Several of my friends have my address and all of her personal information that I know of.  They have gone on this little ride with me and I am so grateful for them!

She did leave before the police arrived, but JUST before, so I don't know if she realized they were coming, or just got tired of waiting for me to open the door.  Considering that I have called the police 3 times in the past week because of incidents involving her, I hope that means she knows I will do it again.  But who knows?  I have known people with BPD before, but she is by far, the most unpredictable.

[jj2121]

That must be hard for you. My ex did start calling me at funny times and texting me her life story after breaking up,but she did stop when eventually when I got angry and told her to stop.

[eener03]

Yeah, it's been a rough couple of weeks.  I haven't gotten a restraining order yet.  She hasn't done much since Sunday, not that I know of anyway... .   tried to get me through an online account I didn't even know I had yesterday, so I deleted the account.  I don't want to engage her at all through talk, email, anything... .   she'll grab on and won't let go to any little thing I say or do.

[HarmKrakow]

Any update?

[GlennT]

Be consistent. The police should have advised you to get a restraining order like I did ,which is free. You go to your local courthouse, fill out alot of forms, see a judge, and that's all. Then, she will spend a month or so in jail everytime she stalks you. This is very important to do, because mental health records are private, but not court records. After this, she will decide to find another victim, but, will now have a record. Which may lead to her getting help. You can't keep calling the police everyday. You have to get the RO, and keep putting her in jail.  After a few months in jail, my stalker finially decided to not come back and find another "host" because she knew I would throw her in jail repeatedly. Recently, I just met a woman online, who came on strong with the intimate emails and calls, plus idealizations. I nipped it in the bud right there before I gave her my address, or dated her. Be careful.

[eener03]

Thanks to everyone who has responded and is checking up on me.  I did get the RO about a week ago and I am so relieved I did because after a silent spell of over a week, she showed up here at my house again tonight.  The police came MUCH faster, and now she has been served.  So anything after this will be a violation.  Hopefully she just stays away, but I am not naive enough to believe that is a guarantee.  So when I go to court, I am hoping they extend it for as long as possible.

I have definitely learned a lot about what NOT to do next time I date. 

[GlennT]

Way to go! It's not talked about much here, but a small percentage of borderlines can become very dangerous after you break it off with them such as Jodie Arias. So be viligant, and  :)on't let your guard down! You can always renew the RO if you feel you need to. She picked the wrong non-BPD to date in this case!