Can't decide what I am mourning

[rogerroger]

Sometimes I think that I get down because I am missing the good times with her.

But sometimes I think what hurts most is the loss of the dream I worked so hard at trying to make come true. I poured so much energy into trying to set things right or bring about some improvement, and all without success.

When she was still here I remember the frustration and the difficulty of trying to regroup and try another day because I wouldn't give up on the dream. The other day I heard an old Alan Parsons song and some of the lyrics seemed to fit so perfectly. "You gave the best you had to give You only have one life to live You fought so hard, you were a slave After all you gave There was nothing left to save."

[lockedout]

You're mourning a little of both. The good times were had when she idolized you but they weren't real. You also had this dream set in your mind. Unfortunately that wasn't real either. Below is a thread for you that's worth checking out; would love to see a link to that song posted.


https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=197787.0

[MakeItBeOver]

 I posted a similar thought last night. You're far from alone in feeling like you do.

[trevjim]

I think as others have said you mourn alot of things.

Im mourning her, the relationship, the ups, her son, the house, even 'our' cat!

[Want2know]

But sometimes I think what hurts most is the loss of the dream I worked so hard at trying to make come true. I poured so much energy into trying to set things right or bring about some improvement, and all without success.

It is so hard to let go of that dream... .   there comes a point, though, where holding onto that dream gets in the way of living a full, good life.  It hurts like hell, but we all get through it with time, understanding and patience, allowing ourselves to grieve the loss and building new hope for the future one step at a time.