DD8 injury, hospital, NBPDxh reaction

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

Call on Friday from school that DD8 had injured herself in playground and ambulance was called. They told me she may have knocked out teeth and bitten off her tounge. Pretty dramatic!

I called the L when I got to the hospital. They faxed N/BPDxh's L as per orders and said DD8 was ok, on way to hospital, but we didn't know what was happening, and to check his email and I would update him as soon as I knew what was happening.

We were getting xrays in the dental clinic when I got called to reception, receptionist said N/BPDxh was on the phone and wanted an update. They said they thought it was strange he didn't call me directly. I told her there was an OOP in place and I would email him as soon as I knew anything, DD8 was still being assessed.

I emailed him about 1 hour later, DD8 had one tooth replaced and swallowed the other. Extensive dental work ahead, but she's ok. He had also emailed me an hour earlier and asked if I would find it in my heart to let him see DD8 if we were going to be in hospital overnight etc, terribly worried... .   He also told me to tell him if I needed any money to help and he would send it ASAP and included his telephone number.

DD8 was feeling ok so I let her call her dad on the number he provided. She spoke with him directly on speaker (mouth too sore ) and he was crying and telling her that he loved her and was so worried. He also told her not to worry, he would pay whatever it took to get her looking perfect again... .   He then emailed again, thanking me profusely for allowing DD8 to call him and again offering to help cover costs.

The kids do not have any contact (including phone) outside of one 4 hour visit a fortnight.

The hardest part of the call for me was hearing him being genuine (in parts) and me feeling emotions about him that have been buried for 4+ years since I last heard his voice. I was almost convinced of his honesty and love, until he said the comment about needing her to look perfect again. Uggh  

We don't have any orders in place for him paying for anything. I pay for all health insurance and I'll be taking her to an orthodontist next week. It will be terribly expensive - root canal, fake teeth, implant not until she's about 22 etc. I am tempted to get my L to send a letter thanking him for his offer for payment and asking him to contribute half (at least).

How is this usually done? How can I get him to commit for the next 14 years of dental bills? What repercussions are there if he forgets or doesn't contribute?

My thought is that he'll offer now to look good, he'll pay for the first couple of sessions and then slowly he'll forget and blame me etc. We have a family report on Wed this week... .  

[Forward2free]

Call on Friday from school that DD8 had injured herself in playground and ambulance was called. They told me she may have knocked out teeth and bitten off her tounge. Pretty dramatic!

I called the L when I got to the hospital. They faxed N/BPDxh's L as per orders and said DD8 was ok, on way to hospital, but we didn't know what was happening, and to check his email and I would update him as soon as I knew what was happening.

We were getting xrays in the dental clinic when I got called to reception, receptionist said N/BPDxh was on the phone and wanted an update. They said they thought it was strange he didn't call me directly. I told her there was an OOP in place and I would email him as soon as I knew anything, DD8 was still being assessed.

I emailed him about 1 hour later, DD8 had one tooth replaced and swallowed the other. Extensive dental work ahead, but she's ok. He had also emailed me an hour earlier and asked if I would find it in my heart to let him see DD8 if we were going to be in hospital overnight etc, terribly worried... .   He also told me to tell him if I needed any money to help and he would send it ASAP and included his telephone number.

DD8 was feeling ok so I let her call her dad on the number he provided. She spoke with him directly on speaker (mouth too sore ) and he was crying and telling her that he loved her and was so worried. He also told her not to worry, he would pay whatever it took to get her looking perfect again... .   He then emailed again, thanking me profusely for allowing DD8 to call him and again offering to help cover costs.

The kids do not have any contact (including phone) outside of one 4 hour visit a fortnight.

The hardest part of the call for me was hearing him being genuine (in parts) and me feeling emotions about him that have been buried for 4+ years since I last heard his voice. I was almost convinced of his honesty and love, until he said the comment about needing her to look perfect again. Uggh  

We don't have any orders in place for him paying for anything. I pay for all health insurance and I'll be taking her to an orthodontist next week. It will be terribly expensive - root canal, fake teeth, implant not until she's about 22 etc. I am tempted to get my L to send a letter thanking him for his offer for payment and asking him to contribute half (at least).

How is this usually done? How can I get him to commit for the next 14 years of dental bills? What repercussions are there if he forgets or doesn't contribute?

My thought is that he'll offer now to look good, he'll pay for the first couple of sessions and then slowly he'll forget and blame me etc. We have a family report on Wed this week... .  

[marbleloser]

Without an order in place,you can't make him pay,but I'd kindly take him up on his offer.She's his daughter too and with that comes financial responsability.

I wouldn't read too much into the "perfect" comment.He may have said that in order to make your daughter feel better and it just came across wrong.(I don't know him,so I can't say for sure)

Good to hear he was emotional about it.Even better to hear that your daughter is ok!

Things like this really put life into perspective.Prayers for you and your daughter.