sometimes NC is a good thing especially to avoid a new rebound. So blocking her number is one step.
Can you add some other steps? I think it is important that you have new things to focus on. Some distraction, some challenge, a project that makes you busy and let you forget about her. This can make you stronger.
I've started some cool, important, fun and creative projects that need to be done and also help me distract myself from my exBPD. It's perfect and good for me and it does help!
I unblock her number usually (It's doubtful she's calling anyway (yet) but I block it sometimes when I feel in the off chance she does call, I am not ready to speak with her as I now look at ANY communication,, even a one word text as me GIVING to her and it TAKING from me. I've given to much and I don't see any benefit right now.
Looks like all that thinking and reading you have been doing is starting to pay off big time for you, eh? I am the same with contacting my ex.
I ask myself the exact same question. "If I contacted him, (and he didnt tell me to bugger off), what kind of mess would I be creating for myself?
I dont want the things that he brings into my life, so why invite him back in it? Tempting still... . why? I dunno.
I did the same thing with a rebound. I hurt the guy terribly. At his expense, I learned a few things as well. How a man shows that he cares for a woman.
Respect for the person you care about, Gentle motivation and support. So many times my ex would just verbally all over me and I would think.
that other guy, (who I probably put into therapy), would never talk to me like that. He was always very supportive. He told me how valuable I was in his life, not how I was the cause of all his problems. The other relationship was not one that would work as I was in a sense using him to get over my ex, but I did learn some valuable information in the process.
Just for the record... . I am not going to go into another relationship until I am cleaned up from this one. No one else has to suffer at the hands of mine and my ex's
toxic dance.
Yes! All the writing here and work I am doing IS paying off. That was the intention and it's helping, even if I am still in a sickening state about it all, I do see myself pulling out of this and into the great life that has always and is aways available to me.
My rebound was funny, in a dark, disturbing way…lol It's worthy of a book but the short story is that she and I are fond of each other and have a certain love for each other that is very cool and amazing it survived the torture she put me through and I probably returned the favor... . but it was only on one level 'worse' than my exBPD on the other level there was a safety,even with all the drama that my ex BPD never did offer. Ever.
I will soon be ready to start dating again. Not today, not tomorrow but soon I will. I am in some ways at the beginning and in other ways have worked as hard as I as able during the BPD relationship, in therapy years before and after and I know I have the internal strength and resolve to overcome this and start living the life right in front of me and out of Crazy Land.
Yes, I am still vulnerable. I know it and it's sickening making. My exBPD was 99% what I want but I think in another thread of yours I posted that I had my "Spat in the face" moment and I hold it close now and it's my "Get out of Crazy Land" Card.
I'm not forgetting this time. Or Forgiving.
THank you both for the posts. Very appreciated.