Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
March 29, 2024, 08:27:01 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Survey: How do you compare?
Adult Children Sensitivity
67% are highly sensitive
Romantic Break-ups
73% have five or more recycles
Physical Hitting
66% of members were hit
Depression Test
61% of members are moderate-severe
108
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Addicted to drama because lack of closure?  (Read 572 times)
me757
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 174


« on: April 30, 2013, 07:13:28 PM »

I don't get it... .  her and I broke up 5 months ago and I know I don't want her or will have any kind of healthy relationship with her. Yet I can't stop thinking about her. It's like I'm addicted to her and the drama. I'm drawn to the rush of having these post break up arguments too. Maybe its the urge to get closure even though that probably isn't possible. I was thinking if she broke up with the guy after me I would get closure... . instead she got engaged to him within 4 months of dating/us being broke up.

I finally initiated NC for the first time a few days ago after she posted a picture of her and the guy on facebook and messaged me acting like nothing was wrong. This comes after 5 months of triangulating (read definition)/making out with me even while she has been engaged the last month... . which I am not proud of. Whats awful is that I've seen this other side of her and it should be all the closure I need yet it isn't. It has left me with the only option I have left and its what I should have done from the beginning - NC. I don't think there is any other source of closure honestly.
Logged
turtle
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: I am happily single -- live alone and love it.
Posts: 5313


WWW
« Reply #1 on: April 30, 2013, 07:15:45 PM »

This comes after 5 months of triangulating (read definition)/making out with me even while she has been engaged the last month... . which I am not proud of. Whats awful is that I've seen this other side of her and it should be all the closure I need yet it isn't.

Why ISN'T this the closure you need?  She's shown you her true colors... .  what argument do you have with that?

turtle

Logged

me757
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 174


« Reply #2 on: April 30, 2013, 07:41:56 PM »

I know. It should be all the closure I need. I don't know why I want her current relationship to end so bad. Bruised ego probably.
Logged
turtle
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: I am happily single -- live alone and love it.
Posts: 5313


WWW
« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2013, 07:48:49 PM »

Well... .  drug addiction can make your teeth fall out, cause sores on your skin, cause organ failure, major destruction, and ultimately... .  death.   Yet, people keep doing whatever drug it is that's killing them.  It's a lot like that.  I was addicted to my ex.  I get it.  Now though... .  ELEVEN years later... .  I WISH I had back all the time and money I devoted to pure destruction.

Even so... .  we can't hurry the process.

"Closure" is overrated.  Right now... .  what would "closure" look like for you?  

Chances are, "closure" doesn't exist and it won't exist until you are ready.  Then... .  closure is what YOU decide is best for you and it has little, or nothing to do with her.

turtle

Logged

me757
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 174


« Reply #4 on: April 30, 2013, 08:00:06 PM »

Yeah, I think by still being in contact with her I couldn't detach. I know that if I can stay NC there will be a day when I'll want all this time back.
Logged
turtle
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: I am happily single -- live alone and love it.
Posts: 5313


WWW
« Reply #5 on: April 30, 2013, 08:18:29 PM »

Yeah, I think by still being in contact with her I couldn't detach. I know that if I can stay NC there will be a day when I'll want all this time back.

Even better... .  there will be a day where you say "I'm done with that destruction. I wish her peace, but that has nothing to do with me."  Period... .  no regrets.

turtle

Logged

Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!