Why I finally ended it... finally... after 8 months... pure madness

[Depression = 72% of members]

I have been struggling with ending the relationship... . even after going to a therapist. What did it take?

My BPD boyfriend became enraged and literally beat the hell out of me. He beat the living hell out of me in his living room. When I got free I ran to my car. As I floored it, I saw him running after my car, ALMOST jumping on the trunk before I got away.

The next day he showed up in the parkinglot of my job, crying. "I can't control myself. You are the only person that brings out my rage. I have no idea why. I feel empty. I feel dead. I had these feelings before I met you... . but you... . you bring out my demons... . you make me uncontrollable. It's not your fault... . but being around you makes me a monster."

He then said, "please drive me to Riverbend(local mental hospital) now! Drive me now! I'm wanting to kill myself. Drive me now.

I drove him over there. We made an emergency appointment. We waited 30 minutes to see a person who would decide what therapist he saw. While waiting, my ex boyfriend went from crying to, "i have anxiety. we must go. we must go." I convinced him to say. We finally saw the diagnostics person who told us to come back tuesday for a first session.

Immediatly after leaving, my boyfriend became enraged and said, "me going in there was a sign of weakness... .  a sign of weakness!" He then said he WOULD NOT go back to the mental hospital. He got in his car, left. Then he called me later that night accusing me of taking his house keys from him while he was in my car.

Yeah, I'm done. I changed my phone number. I'm seeing tomorrow what to do about filing a restraining order.

[Rocknut]

I have been struggling with ending the relationship... . even after going to a therapist. What did it take?

My BPD boyfriend became enraged and literally beat the hell out of me. He beat the living hell out of me in his living room. When I got free I ran to my car. As I floored it, I saw him running after my car, ALMOST jumping on the trunk before I got away.

The next day he showed up in the parkinglot of my job, crying. "I can't control myself. You are the only person that brings out my rage. I have no idea why. I feel empty. I feel dead. I had these feelings before I met you... . but you... . you bring out my demons... . you make me uncontrollable. It's not your fault... . but being around you makes me a monster."

He then said, "please drive me to Riverbend(local mental hospital) now! Drive me now! I'm wanting to kill myself. Drive me now.

I drove him over there. We made an emergency appointment. We waited 30 minutes to see a person who would decide what therapist he saw. While waiting, my ex boyfriend went from crying to, "i have anxiety. we must go. we must go." I convinced him to say. We finally saw the diagnostics person who told us to come back tuesday for a first session.

Immediatly after leaving, my boyfriend became enraged and said, "me going in there was a sign of weakness... .  a sign of weakness!" He then said he WOULD NOT go back to the mental hospital. He got in his car, left. Then he called me later that night accusing me of taking his house keys from him while he was in my car.

Yeah, I'm done. I changed my phone number. I'm seeing tomorrow what to do about filing a restraining order.

[Clearmind]

I have been struggling with ending the relationship... . even after going to a therapist. What did it take?

My BPD boyfriend became enraged and literally beat the hell out of me. He beat the living hell out of me in his living room. When I got free I ran to my car. As I floored it, I saw him running after my car, ALMOST jumping on the trunk before I got away.

Rocknut, when did this happen? Recently?

[Validation78]

Hey Rocknut!

So sorry to hear that you have had to suffer such an attack. Please do what you must to protect yourself. Your safety is all that matters now, and it's up to you to make sure that he cannot repeat what he has done. I hope that you remain resolute in your desire to cut ties with him, and will never put yourself in a position again to risk your safety. Please take care of yourself, and let him handle his problems himself. He is not your responsibility (you already know this), and you can't save him. Save yourself!

Best Wishes,

Val78

[babyducks]

Rocknut,

I am sorry you went through all that.   I can't imagine the swirl of emotions you must be going through.

I am sure the more senior members will post with many helpful thoughts and good ideas.

But I wanted to say, please make your safety the number one priority.   Take care of the physical wounds and create a safety plan.

It has been my experience that once things escalate to physical violence there is no going back.  

Be very careful, be very gentle with yourself.

[Rocknut]

This happened late Thursday night, early Friday morning around 1am. On Wednesday he was incredibly nice to me. Such madness... .

[Surnia]

Rocknut

I am so sorry that this has happened to you. Thats horrible. 

Please let us know if you need some advice how to proceed in safety.