After they split you black... do they still get jealous?

[expos]

I've been 70+ days no contact with my ex-wife.  The last time I ever saw her, she was unbelievably cruel to me and essentially painted me black and acted like I was this burden to her. 

This past weekend, I took a two day trip with this girl I've been starting to hang out on a weekly basis.  We haven't been intimate yet, mainly due to my some of my concerns and my inability to really move on because I still have feelings for her, but that's a whole different topic.

Anyways, I leave my Facebook profile public, so everyone pretty much sees everything I do.   The girl I've been hanging out with posted a few photos of us together and tagged me in a few locations with her. 

I wonder if my ex-wife still checks my profile from time to time and sees this stuff.  Does she feel jealously towards what I'm doing now or who I'm with? Or does she REALLY not care?

[Free One]

In my experience, yes. It was a "I don't want you, but I don't want anyone else to have you" kind of mentality.

[mrclear]

Depends... . If she had plans to recycle you, then yes... . You were supposed to stay on the shelf until she says so, not just move on by yourself... . tz, tz... .  

Example: My ex found out I had a new gf 6 months after we split up and she had barely said a personal word to me. Since we have kids I was still in contact with her. She maneuvered me back into the crosshairs and worked her way back in. I was not yet detached enough... . She said. (and this is no joke!) "I only left you, so that you would see your mistake and come back to me". And what did the idiot do? You guessed it... .

So. be prepared! She might start an all-out offensive or just leave it. Depends on how "black" you are... . I would set boundaries. If you value your privacy, don't use FB to post your new happiness or block your ex from seeing what you are doing. Whatever you do, don't fall for whatever she might hurl your way and stay the "bleep" away from her!

good luck, mrclear

[expos]

So. be prepared! She might start an all-out offensive or just leave it. Depends on how "black" you are... .

It felt pretty black.  However, while we were separated and not officially divorced, I noticed she added an ex-boyfriend who was already engaged to some other girl.  She then recently defriended him, along with a lot of our mutual friends.  I guess I shouldn't read to much into that.

I guess i just want to know what I'm in for... .

[confetti]

So. be prepared! She might start an all-out offensive or just leave it. Depends on how "black" you are... .

It felt pretty black.  However, while we were separated and not officially divorced, I noticed she added an ex-boyfriend who was already engaged to some other girl.  She then recently defriended him, along with a lot of our mutual friends.  I guess I shouldn't read to much into that.

I guess i just want to know what I'm in for... .

i am diagnosed NPD and find myself frequently deleting people out of extreme inner jealousy or frustration by habit, totally unbeknownst to them. i can't speak for anyone but its mentioned to be common for pwBPD to carry some traits. its just a guess.

who knows, really. the only person who could tell you is her, herself, and she may never make herself obvious.

you shouldn't really worry about what she thinks or what she might do.

mrclear is very accurate in saying you're best being indifferent and staying the heck away 

keep your facebook private (if you do honestly care of what she thinks of you, at least work her imagination and don't give her the ability to judge how well she's doing based on how well you seem to be doing via statuses and pictures)

good luck!

[expos]

i am diagnosed NPD and find myself frequently deleting people out of extreme inner jealousy or frustration by habit, totally unbeknownst to them. i can't speak for anyone but its mentioned to be common for pwBPD to carry some traits. its just a guess.

who knows, really. the only person who could tell you is her, herself, and she may never make herself obvious.

you shouldn't really worry about what she thinks or what she might do.

mrclear is very accurate in saying you're best being indifferent and staying the heck away 

keep your facebook private (if you do honestly care of what she thinks of you, at least work her imagination and don't give her the ability to judge how well she's doing based on how well you seem to be doing via statuses and pictures)

good luck!

You are very brave to post here! Thanks for contributing. 

My ex would do the same.  I hope this doesn't offend you.  She would defriend people who made relatively innocent posts, not allowing friend requests from people she just met who were nice to her, defriending people who posted photos of the vacations they took out of jealously. 

Sometimes, I would sit there and wonder why some of this stuff bothered her so much.  It was just innocent stuff that had no real effect on her day to day existence - but she took it so seriously and held these grudges.

[ComoLu]

My uxBPDH and I have been apart for 2 years.  We are trying to sell a house together.  Just a couple of weeks ago, we were discussing who had keys for the house because someone had been getting into the now vacant house.  I emailed him my list.  He sent back asking about significant others.  We went round and round about this through nearly a dozen emails.  I had no idea what he was talking about.  Finally it dawned on me.  He thought I was in a r/s and had given this other person the key, but didn't want to tell him about it.  I still haven't even been on a date, but I could not convince him that no one else had a key.  Lately, if I don't answer his emails immediately, he calls our adult son and asks him where I am and what I am doing.  I don't know why he cares since he left me for another woman and cheated on me throughout our marriage, but he won't stop.  Jealousy, control, call it what you want.  He is still doing it.

[confetti]

i am diagnosed NPD and find myself frequently deleting people out of extreme inner jealousy or frustration by habit, totally unbeknownst to them. i can't speak for anyone but its mentioned to be common for pwBPD to carry some traits. its just a guess.

who knows, really. the only person who could tell you is her, herself, and she may never make herself obvious.

you shouldn't really worry about what she thinks or what she might do.

mrclear is very accurate in saying you're best being indifferent and staying the heck away 

keep your facebook private (if you do honestly care of what she thinks of you, at least work her imagination and don't give her the ability to judge how well she's doing based on how well you seem to be doing via statuses and pictures)

good luck!

You are very brave to post here! Thanks for contributing. 

My ex would do the same.  I hope this doesn't offend you.  She would defriend people who made relatively innocent posts, not allowing friend requests from people she just met who were nice to her, defriending people who posted photos of the vacations they took out of jealously. 

Sometimes, I would sit there and wonder why some of this stuff bothered her so much.  It was just innocent stuff that had no real effect on her day to day existence - but she took it so seriously and held these grudges.

Yes I have been very reluctant to admit that in this forum, but like you I am grieving as well and only want to help you understand motives because I know how it feels still to be complety dropped, haha. It can hurt very badly!

It really does not offend me, if those traits really are alike, I can only explain it as what feels "safe". I am not able to recognize it inwardly as jealousy, it can be people I don't even know. It's really strange but it quickly escalates to being a strong mood changer if it doesn't go away~ maybe it feels like a threat!

hope this helps

[Take2]

In my experience, yes, my exBPDbf will date others and expect that I should stay put on that shelf waiting for him to recycle me.  and to him, that means not interacting at all with men at all.  We work together.  It's incredibly hard to do a good job and not speak to any male coworkers like a normal person.  But the wrath of hell is simply not worth it most of the time.  And Facebook?  No way would I post pix of me doing ANYTHING - and my ex isn't even on Facebook... . but I am pretty certain he somehow found a way once to look on my page by going through someone else's page that was open.  My page has strict privacy controls set.  And I only post stuff about my daughter.  NOTHING else.  The advise to steer clear is a wise one... .