Clearly he made peace with our past

[stop2think]

As this is his last week with my team and Co. his emails to me for work transition have been courteous and professional the same time - which was not the case in the past 4 months.

He barely emailed me, and if he did it was always  getting straight to the point without any greetings etc.

It kills me while they now begin with "Hope all well at your end". This line was him writing to me when we were together, or when his emails were to our clients.

"Hope all well at your end" - really? He is clueless and obvioosly moved on completely without any feelings attached to me or our past, as he has got someone new for life now.

I feel like a ':)unce' or an 'Object' of his attention once upon a time. I gave my heart and soul to this person. And i thought he had a heart (reason i fell for) unlike my previous ex's. How do they change so quickly, and move on so fast?

Guess he actually has made peace with our past together. He is happy with his new woman, who is making his dreams come true. "All is well at his end" afterall. But mine has gone bad to worse if thats any consolation to double his happiness.

[stop2think]

Just received his 'goodbye... . till next time' email. We worked together for 2 years and i was last on his mailer list... . like the last person?

I do not know why he keeps thrashing me even after he broke up with me. After everything i did for him, i am treated this way.

I was the first girl he took home to parents, and he said the only thing he regrets was involving parents in our r/s.

It just clearly shows what our r/s meant to him - another guilt and shame. I just feel like life is meaningless now, 5 months after the breakup he is doing great and i am still hurting like hell, crying everyday, feel lost and worthless.

My life, now my curse.

[Octoberfest]

Hi S2T,

Unfortunately, things are not going to get better so long as you keep focusing on your BPDex =/.

You are comparing your life to his and making judgements on your own worth based upon that- wrong.  To add to that, you are comparing all of the "happy" and seemingly "good" things in his life to the "bad" ones in your own- doubly wrong.

You aren't putting yourself in a fair fight 


The HARDEST thing for me in this process so far has been coming to terms with the fact that my life is about ME now.  It isn't about US.  It is a transition we make gradually, and when we have to  make it back it shocks our system.


You are not going to get or feel better if you still focus on him as much as you do... . I know it seems like all of it is 100% negative, but there ARE positives to be had from these experiences.  They teach us about who we are and what drives us.  Just yesterday I made a huge discovery about myself, one that I am going to see a therapist about and address so that I may have SUCCESSFUL relationships in the future.

These experiences do not have to be total losses... . It is just important that you accept the facts; i.e. get past the denial stage.  You have to accept that you have your own life to live; as does he.  You have to accept that those lives may not intertwine again.  You have to accept that there is an AFTER him.  Life is FULL of surprises.  I certainly never saw my relationship with my BPDex coming.  Things may seem bleak; but that does not mean something GREAT isn't waiting around the corner.

[Lucky Jim]

Hi S2T, Agree w/Octoberfest.  Those w/BPD are never happy for long and inevitably have conflicts with others due to their turbulent emotions, so I think you may be deceiving yourself by portraying your Exbf's new relationship as something idealized and perfect.  It's not, believe me, and you are lucky to be moving on with your life.  It's a gift, really, though I understand that it will take time before you can see it that way.  In the meantime, hang in there, LuckyJim

[Billa]

Just received his 'goodbye... . till next time' email. We worked together for 2 years and i was last on his mailer list... . like the last person?

I do not know why he keeps thrashing me even after he broke up with me. After everything i did for him, i am treated this way.

I was the first girl he took home to parents, and he said the only thing he regrets was involving parents in our r/s.

It just clearly shows what our r/s meant to him - another guilt and shame. I just feel like life is meaningless now, 5 months after the breakup he is doing great and i am still hurting like hell, crying everyday, feel lost and worthless.

My life, now my curse.

i feel for you, really.

[Clearmind]

It does hurt stop2think! Him finally leaving your work place may also feel like you are loosing him all over again.

Once he leaves, and you settle back into the new arrangement i.e him not being there - things will get better. Its possible you really haven't dealt with the reality of the break up because you were anticipating contact - which in fact was inevitable if you work in the same organisation.

Be kind to you - give yourself some time.

Everyone moves on from these r/s at varying paces - its my hope for you that you begin to look at you and why you chose this man and what got you hooked. You may not be ready for that level of introspection however it may come soon if distance has now been created by his leaving.

All the best