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Author Topic: Do BPD females rush into marriage?  (Read 11145 times)
GreenMango
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 4328



« Reply #30 on: June 18, 2013, 01:56:40 PM »

Part of the disorder is having impairments in self direction and identity.  It includes looking to outside things to help define who a person is. 

It doesn't come from the inside, it comes from outside factors like being married by 30, having a baby, etc.  Using these things to create meaning and purpose.

Healthy and mature people know who they are, they have values that guide them and define themselves, are able to feel whole, and who they are is mostly driven from stuff on the inside.

Think of the mirroring element - when someone doesn't know how they are they look outward to model what to be.  They put an over emphasis on benchmarks that could help define this or create belonging - it may not work out for them because those things are heavily dependdent on how you interact with others and cope.

I think it has to something to do with what Scotisgone said about happiness.  Contentment and happiness come from the inside first.  Its a state of mind.  If a person has BPD they struggle with this internal happiness and reach for things that could fix it.  Doesn't always work out though.
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