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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.
Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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Do BPD females rush into marriage?
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Topic: Do BPD females rush into marriage? (Read 3300 times)
GreenMango
Retired Staff
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 4326
Re: Do BPD females rush into marriage?
«
Reply #30 on:
June 18, 2013, 01:56:40 PM »
Part of the disorder is having impairments in self direction and identity. It includes looking to outside things to help define who a person is.
It doesn't come from the inside, it comes from outside factors like being married by 30, having a baby, etc. Using these things to create meaning and purpose.
Healthy and mature people know who they are, they have values that guide them and define themselves, are able to feel whole, and who they are is mostly driven from stuff on the inside.
Think of the mirroring element - when someone doesn't know how they are they look outward to model what to be. They put an over emphasis on benchmarks that could help define this or create belonging - it may not work out for them because those things are heavily dependdent on how you interact with others and cope.
I think it has to something to do with what Scotisgone said about happiness. Contentment and happiness come from the inside first. Its a state of mind. If a person has BPD they struggle with this internal happiness and reach for things that could fix it. Doesn't always work out though.
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