Do they like/enjoy what they do?

[Depression = 72% of members]

I havent seen my ex BPD for over a month but we have had text/whatsapp communication. He told me he had been having hypnotherapy for his lyin and had been referred on for further help to complex needs. He sent several messages sayin he missed me and wanted to see me. We arranged this weekend to see each other, go out for dinner and just talk. I got the whole works over the build up of I love you, I miss you want to be with you forever and I see now what Ive done to you. Ok although didnt believe all of it i did believe some, stupid i know. Then i find out last night from his ex a lie he has hidden from me for over 2 years and im angry, i try to drop hints in the messages and he obv picks up what im on about. Instead of admitting it he gets nasty. Tells me hes been down the pub and should take up her offer of a drink and will send the info about me that someone asked for. I just dont get it, has he really been flirting (or more) with a girl or is it to get my attention? I didnt bite and said if thats what he wanted good luck. Today i get a msg saying i take it you dont want to see me then? My reply was if you so taken with this other offer then go for it as you must of been chatting her up and flirting to even get the offer which means i didnt enter your thoughts so dont see what we have to gain by seeing each other do you? And since then nothing! Was it all said to rile me or was he being serious? Im glad i held my strength and havent seen him but want to know if he does this because he enjoys knowing how it makes me feel or if he doesnt even think that but its all about him? Not sure this even makes sense but after not eating for 2 days and now drinking im yet again a mess

[gallerykey]

I havent seen my ex BPD for over a month but we have had text/whatsapp communication. He told me he had been having hypnotherapy for his lyin and had been referred on for further help to complex needs. He sent several messages sayin he missed me and wanted to see me. We arranged this weekend to see each other, go out for dinner and just talk. I got the whole works over the build up of I love you, I miss you want to be with you forever and I see now what Ive done to you. Ok although didnt believe all of it i did believe some, stupid i know. Then i find out last night from his ex a lie he has hidden from me for over 2 years and im angry, i try to drop hints in the messages and he obv picks up what im on about. Instead of admitting it he gets nasty. Tells me hes been down the pub and should take up her offer of a drink and will send the info about me that someone asked for. I just dont get it, has he really been flirting (or more) with a girl or is it to get my attention? I didnt bite and said if thats what he wanted good luck. Today i get a msg saying i take it you dont want to see me then? My reply was if you so taken with this other offer then go for it as you must of been chatting her up and flirting to even get the offer which means i didnt enter your thoughts so dont see what we have to gain by seeing each other do you? And since then nothing! Was it all said to rile me or was he being serious? Im glad i held my strength and havent seen him but want to know if he does this because he enjoys knowing how it makes me feel or if he doesnt even think that but its all about him? Not sure this even makes sense but after not eating for 2 days and now drinking im yet again a mess

[Clearmind]

Firstly, please take care of yourself. Alcohol is not a great way to self soothe and because its a depressant it will make you feel worse.

imj, Borderlines really have a hard time with facts and emotions - in fact they will distort facts to match their heightened emotions. This is very confusing for us because we simply don't think the way they do.

Its not uncommon for a Borderline to want to be friends after the break-up. Contact can mean something different to them than it does with us because we are hurting and hang onto hope. So this contact may have been a hand of friendship however your expectation/perception is wanting something different.