DPDH being discharged from hospital today

[MSE1081]

Hi everyone... .my husband is being released from the hospital today and I am a little nervous. On Monday afternoon he contacted me while I was at work via email and stated that he wants to end his life and that he cannot live like this anymore. I knew that he was dealing with a lot of depression and I encouraged him to get help. The thing is, if I push too much he will explode or he will shut down and I will live in silence until he decides to talk to me.

After I received the letter I called crises and he was committed. I stressed to his social worker that the hospital provided for him that he needs BPD help. He needs a counselor and maybe group therapy. To make a long story short, they have him set up to see someone who deals with BPD and he is on a waiting list for group therapy.

I am a little nervous because I don't know how I should be around him. He accused me of being an enabler and he even stated on Monday that he didn't want to be married anymore nor did he want the responsibility of being a father. When he told me this, I remained calm... .but it stung to hear that. I guess he saw that I was hurting and he said that he can't even talk to me because I am the selfish one who is always acting hurt.

My question is this... .do I address what he said to me... .or do I just let it go? I guess a part of me wants to know if he still feels this way and another part of me is too scared to even ask.

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[MSE1081]

My apologies... .I have a typo in the subject line. It should read BPDH not DPDH... .

I guess what I am looking for is if I should bring up what was said to me on Monday or if I should just let it go. It's hard for me to always find the best choice when it comes to things like that. Sometimes, I will just let it go... .but then I feel like I am not being heard or that my feelings don't mean anything... .if that makes sense.

[connect]

Hello,

Sorry you are going through this 

I am wary of replying to this question as I understand how serious the situation is if he has been hospitalised. I am a relative beginner in BPD world as have only known about it since February! Saying that I did want to send you some   

All I can do is say what I think I would do in this type of situation. I think I would try to remind myself that as he is obviously pretty dysregulated atm that he maight not mean what he says. I think I would try to rise above the hurtful comments and put them down to the disorder. I had some hurtful things said to me by my bf this morning but a good friend reminded me that its dysregulated stuff and to not take it to heart. As this has wounded you then I can see how you would be hurt and worried.

It could be a conversation for another calmer time perhaps?

I do hope someone more experienced comes on to answer you too as I am a new girl!

Good luck and hope the homecoming goes well