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Author Topic: Devalue and tell us never to contact them again or else...  (Read 11363 times)
Blade99d
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« on: October 07, 2013, 09:40:49 PM »

I am curious... .how many nons have heard from their BPD ex to never contact them again or else?  In the devaluing stage, the last thing my ex said to me was never contact her agin by txt, mail or email or else.  Followed that up with dont underestimate me, and that I ruined a really good thing.  How many have heard something similar?
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Ironmanrises
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« Reply #1 on: October 07, 2013, 09:47:56 PM »

For me... .

I didn't get that response.

In round 1... .

She raged at me... .

Literally.

Yelled... .

Screamed at me.

So it was implied that I never contact her again.

In round 2... .

Her brutal coldness... .

Minus the rage... .

Implied the same as above.

It was never stated outright... .

Other then... .

The relationship ends here... .

Both times.

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« Reply #2 on: October 07, 2013, 11:19:01 PM »

Yes, I've heard it too.  I heard it within the first month of our relationship (which started 16 months ago).  I heard it three weeks ago.  I heard it one week ago. 

Every time she's said it I thought she REALLY meant it.

This last time she told me I ruined everything.  That things will NEVER be the same again between us.  That I should NEVER dare contact her again... .EVER... .not for the rest of her life!  I should never call her, text her, send her anything in the mail, park on her street, etc., and if I do she will figure out a way to get me arrested.

Then five days later she contacted me.

It's so confusing.
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Escaped 30.Sept.2013
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« Reply #3 on: October 08, 2013, 02:05:00 AM »

Yes, I've heard it too.  I heard it within the first month of our relationship (which started 16 months ago).  I heard it three weeks ago.  I heard it one week ago. 

Every time she's said it I thought she REALLY meant it.

[... .]

Then five days later she contacted me.

It's so confusing.

To quote myself, "Snap! Me too! Same here!"

I'm now thinking of it as a scorecard, and I'm winning at the moment... .whoever last sent contact  gives a point to the other one who receives contact.

So far, after last Monday's email from me saying he would never hear from me again, he's sent an email and three texts that night, then on Sunday just gone, another email, all ordering me never to contact him again - which is what I told him I was doing anyway... .

So that makes it 5-0 to me Smiling (click to insert in post)

My mother's comment was, "oh dear - if he's still sending you long emails a week later, he can't be all that happy settling down with his new girlfriend, can he?" - she's a clever one, my mum... .

He just craves contact. He wants me to tell him I forgive him, it's ok, he's not the worst person in the world... .and then he would be able to take control again of our combined emotions, and freeze me out by his decision.

What he can't cope with is MY taking control of MY emotional life and ME making MY decision to sever contact for MY sake.

I feel sorry for him.

But not sorry enough to put myself in harm's way.

So... .five-nil to me, and I intend to keep my scorecard clean at nil. 
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ScotisGone74
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« Reply #4 on: October 08, 2013, 03:03:18 AM »

Honestly, be glad that they told you to not contact them again, its really a blessing in disguise for you.

Mine got me as close as I believe that I will ever be to another person of the opposite sex in my life, then had a new guy moved in with her, as she got engaged to him within weeks she had cut our communication down to emails in the last few days, until I found out from someone else she had gotten engaged and was living with someone.   In the last few pieces of communication it was beyond hurtful, she was asking me to tell her how much I missed her, how much I loved her, etc, etc,    gruesome for one's heart.   It may seem awful to you now, but believe me when I say it could be much worse. 
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GreenMango
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« Reply #5 on: October 08, 2013, 03:38:10 AM »

Well I've said don't contact me again - I was done though. Ive never said you messed up a good thing - it wasn't that good.

It doesn't take BPD to put your foot down or say enough is enough.  Was it that 5 mins before things were fine and the person flipped on a dime?
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« Reply #6 on: October 08, 2013, 09:34:50 AM »

Oh, I also forgot to mention that when she was permanently banishing me, she said I would never find anyone to love her the way that she loved me!

After all the false accusations, screaming, raging, interrogating, hitting, shoving, lying, stealing, manipulating, insulting, threatening, humiliating, playing the victim, blaming me for everything, throwing me out at 3 A.M., throwing drinks in my face, smear campaigns, overreacting, word twisting, flip flopping, backstabbing, discarding, etc.

Let's hope not.

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Aletheia
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« Reply #7 on: October 09, 2013, 04:33:56 AM »

My ex-gf sent me lots of texts after our final row. She had flared up and raged over trivia. I had left saying if we could not resolve this I didn't see where we were going.

Next I got lots of texts:

She tells me she loves me, I am her missing piece, she has never met anybody like me, she has never opened up to somebody like she has to me, that normally she shuts down at this point, would I like to go for a walk, would I like to talk, she knows she has issues and she will get the dealt with, she realises she has been a complete nightmare over the past couple of weeks. I mean it's just about every scenario covered.

When I didn't respond as she hoped she ended it. When I tried to communicate with her about things she told me it's over and to respect her decision.

When I tried a week later she said she didn't love me, had no hesitation repeating this and requested that I did not contact her in any format.

So much for the previous, 'heartfelt' assertions. What a load of cr*p. If you can go from I love you to never contact me again without pausing I don't see how you can be anything other than disordered and unstable.

Despite my words and other's reassurances I still find it hard to reconcile the apparently genuine, heartfelt nature of her comments with her subsequent actions. I re-read the messages yesterday and threw myself into a mess as I began to think I'd screwed up and let it all go.

Meanwhile, she seems able to just get on with life without a pause... .


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Take2
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« Reply #8 on: October 09, 2013, 05:35:29 AM »

Oh I've heard it so many times. ... .  I did initially believe it every time but now I can't because when I respect it he still comes back with either hours or days to contact.  Granted its hard as we see each other at work.  But I have also said it and meant it.  It didn't stop the raging.   And he has continued to find new buttons to push... .one would think after 3 years there would be none left untouched but he is seriously resourceful when it comes to new ideas on how to upset me.

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LuckyEscapee
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« Reply #9 on: October 09, 2013, 05:40:35 AM »

I've received so many unprompted final goodbyes it is bizarre.

Not heard a thing now for six months and long may it continue!

Life is so easy by comparison.  Smiling (click to insert in post)

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« Reply #10 on: October 09, 2013, 05:48:44 AM »

Ditto... called me everything in the book, told me where to go, blocked me ... .and then days later was back apologizing and telling me she couldn't live without me. The first really bad breakup (30 yrs ago now)... I took her at her word... she showed up hanging on another guy (neighbor)... and we had been talking wedding plans... and I was crushed, couldn't stand it. Made me suicidal/homicidal, so I packed up and moved, gave up my business, friends, family and moved 1500 miles away... .with no way for her to contact me. Then 27 yrs later she looked me up on FB and when I heard her voice... all the intensity of the feelings came back. Ended up in divorce for me, 6-7 recycles and an amazing amount of pain. Each recycle had her telling me off and then coming back. I found out she had been diagnosed BPD and started reading up on it and eventually realized it was not me at the heart of the problem. Been NC for over a year now, been seeing a T for the PTSD (she once argued/yelled at me for just under 7 hrs straight ... I prodded her a bit to see just how long she would keep doing it... .as that didn't seem loving to me... at the 7 hr mark I got up and left and haven't been back in an r/s with her since.)

The depth of the devaluing is amazing... I was married 22 yrs to my exwife... and we argued at times, but it was always civil and limited... as we cared about each other and planned to live on with each other. My exBPDgf... .once she decided I was bad... .all bets were off, the hater was absolutely scary, no constraint at all. She reminded me of Jodi Arias... .and I have no doubt she would filet and shoot me given a chance... .was like pure evil.

It jacks with your head so much... to be abused by someone you feel strong apparent love for... and for them to blame you for everything. We would make up and the good times were shorter and shorter, the bad times worse and more intense. Its taken therapy and time away to see that I probably never knew the real person she was... .it certainly wasn't the idealizer/seductress... that was phony, the clinging little girl was a bit truthful, but the rabid junk yard dog... .100% authentic... .and probably all I will know of the real her... .and I see that and no longer want any part of it.

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strikeforce
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« Reply #11 on: October 09, 2013, 06:09:22 AM »

I got the 'I don't want to ever see you again' only to be hit with can we meet up and talk a little later.

She changed her number saying she was gone forever only to contact me on that new number a few days later.
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Aletheia
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« Reply #12 on: October 09, 2013, 06:16:14 AM »

What concerns me is that I didn't get any such overt abuse; the really ghastly demeaning stuff that seems so common on here. This was the second major row we had had in 8 months with numerous other small moments and an increasing subtle push-pull dynamic.

This is why I'm confused. The gross elements of her behaviour and her absolute waif-like appearance and demeanour and absolute history of abuse, unstable and violent relationships, abortion, affairs, alcoholic mother, divorce, maternal abandonment etc... .fit the bill but she wasn't overtly, regularly abusive to me. It was all subtle and passive and very victim-like but it was there creating instability.

Then, suddenly after so many texts and conversations declaring so much love and hope etc we began having these rows. The classic excessive responses to minor things.

When I pulled away she came in with her texts and wanting to make amends and get back and talk... .and then THE END. Suddenly, completely, absolutely. No going back.

Having reviewed the texts yesterday I feel awful again.

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strikeforce
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« Reply #13 on: October 09, 2013, 06:18:19 AM »

What concerns me is that I didn't get any such overt abuse; the really ghastly demeaning stuff that seems so common on here. This was the second major row we had had in 8 months with numerous other small moments and an increasing subtle push-pull dynamic.

This is why I'm confused. The gross elements of her behaviour and her absolute waif-like appearance and demeanour and absolute history of abuse, unstable and violent relationships, abortion, affairs, alcoholic mother, divorce, maternal abandonment etc... .fit the bill but she wasn't overtly, regularly abusive to me. It was all subtle and passive and very victim-like but it was there creating instability.

Then, suddenly after so many texts and conversations declaring so much love and hope etc we began having these rows. The classic excessive responses to minor things.

When I pulled away she came in with her texts and wanting to make amends and get back and talk... .and then THE END. Suddenly, completely, absolutely. No going back.

Having reviewed the texts yesterday I feel awful again.

Exactly the same as I had, not major problems, just lots of smaller stuff.

It put me in a state of denial that maybe she wasn't properly diagnosed.

She had been wrongly diagnosed in the past.
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Aletheia
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« Reply #14 on: October 09, 2013, 06:35:22 AM »

Strikeforce

Are you saying your gf was eventually diagnosed with BPD?

Mine was un-diagnosed. I'm not sure how much it matters as there are multiple traits regardless and I keep telling myself to focus on the facts of her behaviours.

It has just started to hurt all over again since reading those texts. Damn it... .!

She obviously couldn't have held it together else she would have been more robust and waited and encouraged me to come round emotionally. I guess she felt abandonment coming and hit eject first and of course then devalued me.

It bloody hurts. I can't stop feeling I blew it and could have had her back. I seem to forget that at the time I didn't want that... .as I was seriously fed up with her strange behaviours and distancing.

I didn't deserve this treatment.
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strikeforce
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« Reply #15 on: October 09, 2013, 06:38:46 AM »

Yep she was wrongly diagnosed first time round then was diagnosed with Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (which is BPD here in the UK)

She never had any major rages at me or anything majorly outstanding, but lots of little bits and pieces, the depression, push/pull stuff etc.
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Aletheia
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« Reply #16 on: October 09, 2013, 07:05:11 AM »

That's interesting, she sounds similar to my ex.

My lady was, as far as I can tell, classic waif.

Initially, extremely demure, vulnerable, victim-like, intense eyes, hanging on my every word.

Over time I noticed she would not be very accommodating of my needs and was even a little selfish. I would give her needs my all but she would basically leave me to fend for myself. As I had such strong feelings for her and desires and hopes for the relationship, I guess I just put this aside.

Alex was great, but as ice said elsewhere, distant and mechanical, and ultimately controlling and used to stabilise her moods I think. I'd often be met with her in a negligé wanting sex when it was more appropriate to sit and have a long talk about things.

Majorly, I noticed she was just emotionally absent. Nothing we did cemented a deeper relationship. I was happy to take on her kids etc and they loved me but again it didn't increase her ability to seem dedication and commitment in me. I was only as good as the last interaction it seems.


She used to dissociate or go into trance stares for no reason. It was quite unnerving. There was something very childlike about many of her behaviours and habits. There was a flat affect about her, a lack of joy.

Boy could she rage when she got going though. I used to joke that I would take her up a hill and make her scream at the top of her voice; it was as if she could not express anger. However, once triggered she would explode with a controlled diatribe of confusing outburst that would divert you from the main point.

It was all rather a 'just can't make sense of it' experience.

Does that concur with your experience of your partner?





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strikeforce
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« Reply #17 on: October 09, 2013, 07:22:41 AM »

That's interesting, she sounds similar to my ex.

My lady was, as far as I can tell, classic waif.

Initially, extremely demure, vulnerable, victim-like, intense eyes, hanging on my every word.

Over time I noticed she would not be very accommodating of my needs and was even a little selfish. I would give her needs my all but she would basically leave me to fend for myself. As I had such strong feelings for her and desires and hopes for the relationship, I guess I just put this aside.

Alex was great, but as ice said elsewhere, distant and mechanical, and ultimately controlling and used to stabilise her moods I think. I'd often be met with her in a negligé wanting sex when it was more appropriate to sit and have a long talk about things.

Majorly, I noticed she was just emotionally absent. Nothing we did cemented a deeper relationship. I was happy to take on her kids etc and they loved me but again it didn't increase her ability to seem dedication and commitment in me. I was only as good as the last interaction it seems.


She used to dissociate or go into trance stares for no reason. It was quite unnerving. There was something very childlike about many of her behaviours and habits. There was a flat affect about her, a lack of joy.

Boy could she rage when she got going though. I used to joke that I would take her up a hill and make her scream at the top of her voice; it was as if she could not express anger. However, once triggered she would explode with a controlled diatribe of confusing outburst that would divert you from the main point.

It was all rather a 'just can't make sense of it' experience.

Does that concur with your experience of your partner?



Yes, very similar.

And to be honest I would probably still be with her if I hadn't studied BPD.

She wasn't a bad person, just had a very bad life. Found it difficult to express her feelings but would eventually come out and talk about things.

I was her longest partner of just over one year.
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Aletheia
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« Reply #18 on: October 09, 2013, 07:34:56 AM »

Gosh, they sound so similar. I could say the same of mine. She was a genuinely nice woman who meant well and apparently a great mother.

However, I want to tell myself to wake up and smell the roses. She was what she was and that was difficult to be close to, distancing and rageful on occasion. I also think I got out early. I think it would have all got a lot worse and the pattern would have repeated over time.

It was a young relationship and the shine was going. That's the sad truth I believe.

I hate to think of her being with another and it all going swimmingly when I feel

I failed. I know, intellectually, I didn't and I know she is unlikely to change for the better.

I also feel if she was truly able to have a relationship with me she would not have bolted and pulled down the shutters.

It's truly interacting that your ex- was diagnosed. It makes me feel more confident in my suspicions knowing that they sound so similar and 'quiet types'

Thanks.


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strikeforce
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« Reply #19 on: October 09, 2013, 07:38:36 AM »

Gosh, they sound so similar. I could say the same of mine. She was a genuinely nice woman who meant well and apparently a great mother.

However, I want to tell myself to wake up and smell the roses. She was what she was and that was difficult to be close to, distancing and rageful on occasion. I also think I got out early. I think it would have all got a lot worse and the pattern would have repeated over time.

It was a young relationship and the shine was going. That's the sad truth I believe.

I hate to think of her being with another and it all going swimmingly when I feel

I failed. I know, intellectually, I didn't and I know she is unlikely to change for the better.

I also feel if she was truly able to have a relationship with me she would not have bolted and pulled down the shutters.

It's truly interacting that your ex- was diagnosed. It makes me feel more confident in my suspicions knowing that they sound so similar and 'quiet types'

Thanks.

Yeah getting close to mine was difficult, she would often push me away. Other times she would be close especially when she was taken out of her 'comfort zone'.
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Aletheia
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« Reply #20 on: October 09, 2013, 07:45:23 AM »

Sounds a little as if the attention is ok when it's their need but not so good when it's yours, all wrapped into the illness.

I've lost my way in these last 24 hours and now every thought is of my ex just moving on and unaffected... .I know that it's not that simple. I just hurt.
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« Reply #21 on: October 09, 2013, 07:48:27 AM »

Sounds a little as if the attention is ok when it's their need but not so good when it's yours, all wrapped into the illness.

I've lost my way in these last 24 hours and now every thought is of my ex just moving on and unaffected... .I know that it's not that simple. I just hurt.

When did you separate? Has there been any contact?
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Aletheia
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« Reply #22 on: October 09, 2013, 07:56:58 AM »

End of August. I tried twice to get her to meet and talk but she just snapped back with I do not love you, I have no hesitation repeating this and do not contact me in any format.

So much for all the I love you stuff after we had out row... .
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« Reply #23 on: October 09, 2013, 07:58:18 AM »

End of August. I tried twice to get her to meet and talk but she just snapped back with I do not love you, I have no hesitation repeating this and do not contact me in any format.

So much for all the I love you stuff after we had out row... .

There is a good chance she will contact you to say sorry and try to get back with you at some point.
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Aletheia
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« Reply #24 on: October 09, 2013, 08:05:10 AM »

My intuition says she won't. She seems to have poisoned her friends against me, I'm not convinced she hasn't met someone else, although I think it's a little soon with her kids etc. Also, why his she being so horrible now? If she meant what she said about wanting to talk over the row and loving me she wouldn't have shut down so fast.

Why will she come to after that? Will it be healthy for me anyway?

Oh what a mess. I need to get a grip. I was doing so well!
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strikeforce
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« Reply #25 on: October 09, 2013, 08:19:59 AM »

My intuition says she won't. She seems to have poisoned her friends against me, I'm not convinced she hasn't met someone else, although I think it's a little soon with her kids etc. Also, why his she being so horrible now? If she meant what she said about wanting to talk over the row and loving me she wouldn't have shut down so fast.

Why will she come to after that? Will it be healthy for me anyway?

Oh what a mess. I need to get a grip. I was doing so well!

Its really best not to try and work out what they are thinking.
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GreenMango
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« Reply #26 on: October 09, 2013, 10:22:35 AM »

Oh, I also forgot to mention that when she was permanently banishing me, she said I would never find anyone to love her the way that she loved me!

Well I call BS on her statement unless of course she meant this as how great her love was:

Excerpt
After all the false accusations, screaming, raging, interrogating, hitting, shoving, lying, stealing, manipulating, insulting, threatening, humiliating, playing the victim, blaming me for everything, throwing me out at 3 A.M., throwing drinks in my face, smear campaigns, overreacting, word twisting, flip flopping, backstabbing, discarding, etc.

You know any person who really knows how to love someone doesn't make grandiose proclamations of how great they are like that when behaving like a jerk?  It's called overcompensating.  Don't buy it.
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« Reply #27 on: October 09, 2013, 01:03:43 PM »

Oh, I also forgot to mention that when she was permanently banishing me, she said I would never find anyone to love her the way that she loved me!

Well I call BS on her statement unless of course she meant this as how great her love was:

Excerpt
After all the false accusations, screaming, raging, interrogating, hitting, shoving, lying, stealing, manipulating, insulting, threatening, humiliating, playing the victim, blaming me for everything, throwing me out at 3 A.M., throwing drinks in my face, smear campaigns, overreacting, word twisting, flip flopping, backstabbing, discarding, etc.

You know any person who really knows how to love someone doesn't make grandiose proclamations of how great they are like that when behaving like a jerk?  It's called overcompensating.  Don't buy it.

That's just it, she feels 100% justified doing all those abusive things to me because in her mind everything is my fault and I caused her to do them to me.  She takes no responsibility for her actions.  She's the victim.  I got what I deserved and she's not sorry for anything.  In fact, I only got 1/10 of the pain that I've caused her, so there's plenty of room for more revenge against me.

She only focuses on the good things she's done for me, and conveniently ignores the bad.  Come to think of it, that's exactly what I do too. 
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« Reply #28 on: October 09, 2013, 01:55:35 PM »

She's delusional if she thinks that is alright or justified - but try reasoning with unreasonable... .it ain't happening.  So she's delusional and immature.  Great mix of quality character traits huh?

You know she isn't gracing you with her presence - just jeep raising the bar.  There will be a point where you know she isn't worth your tume, energy, or care.  It'll come and I'm guessing your reply will be a simple "no thanks"   

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« Reply #29 on: October 10, 2013, 05:46:30 PM »

Yes, I have heard this too... not the "or else" part but the "never contact me again"... .7 hours later we were eating dinner together. Its beyond confusing.
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