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Author Topic: Can you tell if a pwBPD is lying about childhood abuse?  (Read 11056 times)
HealingForMe
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 108



« Reply #30 on: April 27, 2014, 07:51:13 AM »

My exBPDgf kept telling me how lucky I was that she was forgiving me, despite that it was her abusing me. After we broke up, she even told anyone who would listen that I had raped her because we had sex when she had been drinking. I would tell her we shouldn't but she wouldn't take no for an answer. She would be persistent and manipulative as only a pwBPD can be until I gave in.

I used to get upset how ungrateful she was for all the things I've done for her, but now I realise she's very sick and I I'm the one who should be grateful I got out when I did
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Sofie
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 567


« Reply #31 on: April 27, 2014, 09:27:29 AM »

Just wanted to comment that I really feel you on this one. I think that I have mostly recovered from my relationship with my BPDex, but this is a subject which still really haunts me a bit.

My BPD ex told me that not only had her father subjected her to incest, he had also made child porn movies of her and sold her into child prostitution. The things she told me that she had been subjected to was truly the stuff of nightmares and it broke my heart to think that she had suffered these experiences.

When we were together, I believed her 100% - the way I could see how affected she was by her own accounts of what had happened, the many classical symptoms of post-sexual abuse she showed, etc.

To make a long story short and spare you the details, I later found out that many of the stories she had told me simply didn't add up - couldn't practically have happened. It is still mind-boggling to me that to this day I AM certain that she was subjected to some kind of sexual abuse for a variety of reasons, but it seems there was no real telling where truth stopped and the lies began with her. I am certain that she actually believed her own lies to some extent - no one could be as convincing as she was otherwise.
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Tolou
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 292


« Reply #32 on: April 28, 2014, 01:21:39 AM »

I believe something happened to my BPDgf, I do. I don't know how much of it she actually remembered, but she remembered enough to know.  She also disclosed this to me very early on, prior to us begining to date.  And she mentioned it in a text message, and my heart-broke.  Then next day when I saw her and just wanted to give her a hug, she acted like it was no big deal.  I think she failed to realize because of her immaturity to understand what saying that to someone who cares about you, makes them feel.  I am quite sure she gained sympathy from it, and played off the whole victim role very well, but I don't think she understand the complete reality of the statement.

Sadly, after I began becoming intitmate with her, I had wanted to stop.  I told, I didn't want to do etc... . with her anymore because I felt like I with a child, it was very akward, and very strange.  Unlike anything I have ever experienced before, I almost felt like I was the person harming the child... . never again for me... .
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goldylamont
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1083



« Reply #33 on: April 28, 2014, 06:44:03 AM »

if you go over to the Parents board you will see many families dealing with being falsely accused of abuse. my ex accused her biological father of abuse and then later denied it, although he was a confirmed alcoholic that had been pretty much cut out of their family. in the end she was the only one still in contact with him... . weird secretive phone calls where she would go off and talk to him. so, i'm not sure what happened but i know she was lying one way or the other.

my ex also would accuse her mother of being uncaring, etc. but over time i began to realize that this was completely unfair projection of her mother. it's impossible to know what went on in childhood but what i do know is that my ex would unfairly cast people in a negative light (including me).

while recognizing that something probably happened, it's important for all of us to realize that the stories we heard may not be truthful in full or at all. it may not be a bad idea to read some on the parents/family board to see how the situation affects them also. parents are often unnecessarily viewed negatively because of lies told by pwBPD.
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