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Author Topic: Urgent Help Needed  (Read 579 times)
antlen

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 17


« on: November 19, 2013, 01:24:31 PM »

I'm seeing my ex tonight, as Im going over to see my daughter.

WE recently tried to date again, but out of the blue she broke it off, saying we arent good together.  I'm really freaking out about how going round there. I know I'll say something about us or worse break down.  I dodnt know what to do
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This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

waverider
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: married 8 yrs, together 16yrs
Posts: 7407


If YOU don't change, things will stay the same


« Reply #1 on: November 19, 2013, 03:26:05 PM »

Your daughter is the center of your world, not your ex.

Your daughter will suffer if you become involved in push/pull with your ex.

Focus on that and put everything else on the back burner
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  Reality is shared and open to debate, feelings are individual and real
Chosen
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 1484



« Reply #2 on: November 19, 2013, 07:31:10 PM »

Your daughter is the center of your world, not your ex.

Your daughter will suffer if you become involved in push/pull with your ex.

Focus on that and put everything else on the back burner

I agree with this in the short term.  However, let me add my views in the long run:

You mentioned that you two of you tried to date again, but from what it seems, things are not much better this time round.  Before you agree/ try to date again (if you are open to that), you must first have a think about what went wrong previously, and what can you do to change dynamics this time round.  Also, it is also worth thinking about your values, and therefore, your boundaries.  When you're in a relationship it's harder to think about those.
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waverider
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: married 8 yrs, together 16yrs
Posts: 7407


If YOU don't change, things will stay the same


« Reply #3 on: November 19, 2013, 07:40:09 PM »

Recycling is a big issue, with promises, broken promises and eventual returns to previous issues. You need to look more into the issues surrounding this before start thinking of reconciliations.

Your daughter needs stability above all
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