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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: how long did the splitting last  (Read 446 times)
necchi
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 376


« on: December 08, 2013, 01:25:26 PM »

Mine, 5years ago would change to MR Hyde and maintain for a few hours. this spring, 2 months. Now its been 5 month and I'm before the big bang black. But i do know that she goes on my FB profile more than 10 times a day... .

she is less attractive now that i think about it. Why was i crying just before ?
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fromheeltoheal
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up, I left her
Posts: 5642


« Reply #1 on: December 08, 2013, 01:45:25 PM »

Remember splitting is the 'habit' of focusing on all of the positive traits of someone without the negative, or vice-versa; the disorder causes the sufferer to see everything in black and white, instead of seeing a gray, integrated human, a mix of good traits and bad traits.  The Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde changing modes of a borderline are just in reaction to their opinion of us in the moment.

We all split BTW; think of someone you no longer 'talk to' and notice how you might focus on their negative traits, maybe to the complete exclusion of their positive ones, to justify the rift in your head.  A borderline just takes that to the extreme.

It took a long time the first time for my borderline ex to split me and focus on everything she didn't like about me, what an ugly wake-up call that was, but towards the end of the relationship she could flop back and forth a few times a day.  I never knew what I was going to get, just knew it was completely unreliable and kept me on edge all the time, so bailing was the only choice.
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necchi
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 376


« Reply #2 on: December 08, 2013, 08:47:54 PM »

Thanks for your post fromheel ... .really never seen it like that, it makes a lot of sense.    and at the same it make me reevaluate 7years of this nonsense differently  sigh!
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