holiday sadness

[magichat101]

For some reason today I have been experiencing a lot of sadness over my break up. My ex and I broke up exactly year ago but still saw each other until August 2013, so didn't really break up until then. Since then I hear she has a new "guy" that she met on facebook and has never met in person. I have been struggling with her moving on so easily and fast while I am stuck in the phase of " what the hell just happened".

Looking back on the relationship I was so unhappy, but I just can't seem to move on. I try and I try. I pretty much fully understand the majority of BPD but it doesn't make it any easier. The fact is, is I was burned, burned badly.

My biggest fear is that I will never fully get over my ex. I know she will call me in months from now and I won't answer, it's like clock work with her. Have any of you truly not only gotten over your ex with BPD but have you gotten over the hurt that was inflicted on you?

[mango_flower]

I'm kind of in the same timescale as you.

Broke up just over a year ago, but had contact until May this year.

It gets easier.

The last few weeks I've been sinking again, but I think that is because she contacted me with a silly email just saying she missed me sometimes and hoped I was ok (I wonder if she's told her new fiancee about that one, hmmmm!).

The pain is incredible when you find out how easily they've moved on... .it's truly unreal.  Makes you wonder if what you had really meant anything, when you'd have bet your life savings that you had finally found your soulmate. It's just cruel.

What I will say is - it DOES get better - until she contacted me, I was getting through each day, and the sheer agony of missing her had turned into a dull ache, a little pang from time to time, but it didn't encroach on my everyday life as much as it did at the start.

And from reading here, I hear it just gets better and better.

Hopefully somebody else who is further out can reply a bit better than me.

[Undone123]

Same boat! almost same time scale... .

First christmas will be tough... .but then think! We will have all of our firsts out the way! it wont be so tough... .

One thing i've learned is there is nothing wrong with pain, or feeling sad... .its the acting on it thats wrong.

Show yourself some 

[heartandwhole]

magichat101,

I'm here to tell you yes, there really is hope.  I know it doesn't seem like it now, but things do get better.  I didn't believe it myself.  A year ago I was hurting, depressed and saw a very bleak future ahead of me.  I didn't even care about my future anymore, and was resigned to just surviving, getting through the days.

Now, it's just the opposite.  I am surprised at how much better I feel, I actually don't know what happened.  Therapy, time, tears.  The 3 Ts.  Maybe that was the magic formula for me.  I know you'll find yours.

  We're here for you.

[santa]

My breakup also occurred in August 2013. Must have been something in the water. 

I didn't enjoy Thanksgiving and am certainly not looking forward to Christmas and New Years. We'll just have to suck it up and get through it. Next year will be better.