Ugh..today sucks

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

He is on match.com already... .wow. kick me when im down.

So sorry sadinnc ... feeling someone pull away and move on when you didn't even realise it was happening is painful.

Let him have match.com and everyone on it ... mine did the same and it has been disbelief that has held me back from accepting that he just no longer feels what I do (if he ever really did) ... .remember that he did these things when he next contacts you ... because even if he comes back, can you ever trust him with your heart again?

[damage control]

He is on match.com already... .wow. kick me when im down.

So sorry sadinnc ... feeling someone pull away and move on when you didn't even realise it was happening is painful.

Let him have match.com and everyone on it ... mine did the same and it has been disbelief that has held me back from accepting that he just no longer feels what I do (if he ever really did) ... .remember that he did these things when he next contacts you ... because even if he comes back, can you ever trust him with your heart again?

[sirensong65]

Ok, let's get you signed up... here's you Tshirt, membership card, we will do the ceremony later... .

Now, it's official... .you just lost a BPD ass.  Let's celebrate!

Mine is on Match too and I found out the other day has been since when we announced getting married back in May!  Yay me!   Turns out my beloved has been living a double life for a while... .

I was upset at first too.  Then, I started reading through it and I had to laugh.  First, he's 43 and says in the profile he is looking for women 24-41 and that some of his hobbies include, playing his guitar, X Box and theme parks.  Gee; does your mom let you stay out past 10 pm on the weekends?  Who the hell would want a 43 yr' old man like that.  Then, he had to put a picture of his new convertible Mustang in the profile because that isn't at ALL juvenile or pompous, right?  Lastly, and this is the best part... he wants marriage and a family.  Yeah, right... I heard that too and it was all set til he backed out of the wedding TWO DAYS BEFORE and humiliated me in front of the world.

Now, the best part... . These people don't get off scott free, they really don't.  Karma WILL prevail and all the hurt and humiliation you feel will be deducted as a debt for them to pay.

I know this because I have wanted to die for weeks.  :)rank, lost weight, couldn't go to work or even bathe some days and believe, that is NOT who I am.  My nickname is Miss Mary Sunshine, I am ALWAYS up!  Anyway, mine is on his way back from a fabulous holiday with his family.  And he has been up there working his Match.com profile for two weeks... I have watched him checking in constantly, booking his time for tonight and going forward... I am sure anticipating some good times.

Problem is, a certified letter came for him to the ex girlfriends house (you know, the one I became friends with after we broke up.  The one he called THE MONSTER).  Seems our friend committed some serious state fraud in the state he USED to hail from and they now know about his new, posh job.  The letter said his wages are about to be garnished and his 2013 tax return confiscated to pay the debt plus legal fees.  And lover boy doesn't know the ax is about to fall, but WE, the women he left in his wake do!  LMAO!  It's a Christmas Miracle!  

So, chin up, darlin'.  He is showing you who he REALLY is... .question is, will you recognize or paint him with the "guy who romanced you" brush.  Cause that guy was an actor portayal, a phony, fake, charleton.  THIS is who he REALLY is... . You deserve so much more than that... .

So, get off your tail and off this computer and get ready to go out.  YES!  You heard me, GO!  Staying home is the worst thing you can do and you WILL text him that you saw him on Match or you're hurt, or how could he or any number of texts that you should not and he is salivating by his Crackberry just anticipating it... .so DO disappoint!

[patientandclear]

Yuck. I'm sorry you saw that; but I'm glad you saw that, hot on the heels of the snowy paths & I miss you & frantic efforts to get you to respond. He wants what you do for him. It's different than love as you experience it. Like Schwing says, he is using you, and he'll work to create feelings of love in you, using all he knows about you to do so, to get you to provide what he wants. but his actions overall are not those of someone who loves you.

i'm so glad you've hung in with this position long enough to play this out a little and see all the pieces together at once. Hope it helps you feel stronger & more resolved.

[sirensong65]

You're gonna be okay, honey...   Really, once the shock wears off.  Get mad! Then get busy.  The best revenge is living well.   

We're here... .

[LilMissSunshine]

Oh boy.  Match.com.  I don't want to hijack so I'm starting a new thread on this one for those of us who haven't been able to vent about it yet.