Developed trust or insecurity issues?

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hi,

Does anyone else have difficulty trusting people now?  I also have become very sensitive to people not messaging or calling when they say they will and get frantically worries I have done something wrong or the person doesn't like me.

Is it just me?

[Mazda]

Hi,

Does anyone else have difficulty trusting people now?  I also have become very sensitive to people not messaging or calling when they say they will and get frantically worries I have done something wrong or the person doesn't like me.

Is it just me?

[Tincup]

Mazda-It is not just you.  I am more insecure since we broke up.  The funny thing to me when I think about it is my ex wife (no BPD) had an affair and lied etc.  I didn't have trust issues after my marriage.  I do however have trust issues now since the break up with my BPDexgf even though she did not cheat to my knowledge.  My lack of trust now comes I believe from the fact that I now don't trust relationships and MYSELF. 

[Pearl55]

I have the same issues even with my female friends!

[bpdspell]

yes trust will be shaky for a while.

I find that trust comes back when we learn how to trust ourselves and our own intuition which speaks to us all the time.

What I learned most from this relationship are that "actions" are the truth of a person. Never mind the words dripping in promises, sugar and spice. Pay attention to the actions of a person and it will tell you everything you need to know.

As for being secure in ourselves…again…that takes time to rebuild. I was greatly insecure about my body after the breakup…so I joined a gym. Bought new clothes, got a makeover and finally learned how to live for me.

Spell

[qwaszx]

Same here, I'm always wondering when everything is going to fall apart. I have a hard time trusting anyone, and if someone gets angry with me I expect thing to take a long time to get over it and walk around more defensive or on egg shells because I'm not sure if they are actually over it or just pretending to be so they can use it against me later on... . It's so silly, I was never like that before... . I just need more people to get mad at me so I can fully grasp the concept that they aren't going to turn and run or paint me black after wards  I'm so glade that I've always been really self aware, I know it'll help me recover faster...

[State85]

I as well don't trust a lot of people now. But it is getting better.

One thing I have learned is to look for the red flags, I can spot them a mile away now... . this is a good thing!

As far as not receiving a text or phone call... . if it is from my exgf, don't care! For me it's like a war between us. I'll go NC, and it drives her crazy. Now it appears she is trying the same thing... . and I'm perfectly fine with that.

[Mazda]

It's not even calls or texts from ex... . it is from anyone.  Literally, friends or even acquaintances

[Tincup]

Mazda-Thinking more about this, I might be even more screwed up than I thought.  I STILL trust people that I have known (predate my pwBPD.)  Where I have problems trusting is new people, or friendships that growing.  Kind of like a point in time thing.  If the person has been around longer than I knew my BPD than things seem fine to me.

There was one lady at work that I was interested in recently.  I turned into such a screwed up mess that I backed up, but I almost even messed up the friendship.  I could actually mess up a little and she would not hold it against me.  The only problem was I WAS A MESS when I perceived that I messed up (she didn't care).

Just made me realize no dating yet... . and that is a good thing for me.

[EdR]

Hi Mazda,

It's the same here. Especially when people don't reply, I get insecure and sad.

[qwaszx]

Lol yea, even my srink I'm having a hard time with, I have been emailing her over the last year maybe 6 times? And she random never responded... . it's been about 3 weeks now and I haven't heard back... . I though maybe it was do to Xmas and new years... But now that's over and I still haven't heard anything, I'm like well maybe she's a BPD also? Do I try and contact her again? Is she playing mind games? Did she not get my email? Maybe she didn't like what I said when I told her I wanted to stay friends with my pwBPD... . I donno what a normal way to respond is. Lol I want to ask if she's died, because only BPD's vanish like that with out word! I don't even know if I wanta try again, I don't need more messed up people. But maybe this is just miscommunication... . Anyways I'm rambling.