NC (no contact) is absolutely amazingly wonderful.

[ogopogodude]

    For all those wondering if their relationship is "worth it" or not or if they just need a break from the insanity of it all (if their mate is afflicted with BPD) the best test of all is zero contact (and I do mean zero). It has worked wonders for my psyche.

    I find that I do not tremble with fear anymore (with the anticipation of seeing my mate after work, or the anticipation of going to a social event with spouse such as an office party, etc). My anxiety level would just go off the charts when I knew that my mate and I were to go to a social function. The worry of having to take my mate home in my arms from too much alcohol intake, or a fight of some sort could --would-- happen, etc. was really quite overwhelming  to me.

    And on the road trip back from a social event with my mate was always a treat: her trying to get out of a moving car (whilst I drove) &/or her kicking and screaming with her feet breaking things all over the dash.

      Man, ... how could I have put up with that nonsense for so long (about the last three to four years of our 17 year marriage). 

    Healing is a wonderful thing.

[Kallor74]

Good for you! Yeah NC is pretty awesome.  Just stay strong and you will win brother.   

[santa]

No contact is pretty great.

I feel a little guilty about it because I'm essentially going no contact with my 18 month old daughter too. This had to be done though. I couldn't keep going like I was. It was just too much emotionally. I had to do something. It's working too. I feel a million times better already.