what happens when they find out your dating again

[bpdspell]

Well,

He hired a team of hackers to torment me for 8 months and paid 98k to have that done.  My credit is ruined and there are still a bunch of after effects of that.

Once I was free of that hell he took some naked photos of me and posted them everywhere on the social sites, which I have never been involved in.

As of for right now he is skillfully alienating my 18 year old and 15 year old from me.  That has been the most evil of all the shifty things he has done.  He used all my friends and family members to hurt me as well.

He got one of my best friends arrested by calling this persons probation officer and made up a bunch of stuff, which is now dismissed after 2 weeks in jail.

My kids are the only thing that still hurts.  I know they will come back though.  Its just a battle.

They will do anything.  But that jerk doesn't get me.  Be prepared for the unimaginable.

Wow. That is some strong Narc Sadism right there. This kind of behavior proves that there is a spectrum to this disorder. My ex was very punishing and went to the ends of the earth trying the shame me. They are very sick, sick, sick, broken human beings.

Spell

[SWLSR]

Several people have made good suggestions.  if it were me i would not tell the ex and try to conceal it as long as i can.  these people think they have a permanent. claim on you and they cpuld try to ruin ur new realatipnship.

[growing_wings]

Several people have made good suggestions.  if it were me i would not tell the ex and try to conceal it as long as i can.  these people think they have a permanent. claim on you and they cpuld try to ruin ur new realatipnship.

yup... . i agree, i have had to keep a low profile since the BU... . as i know how damaging she can be. I dont want to instigate any more violence or hatred towards me  for the moment. is like escaping! i havent responded to her many texts saying i am mentally ill, do i want to respond to her and tell her she is too? hell yeah! but i DONT do it, nothing to win and a lot to lose... .

she wont hear it from me... never. she would probably seek to destroy me more. Peace

[DownandOut]

In my own experience, they don't react very well and will see to it that they hurt you as much as humanly possible. About a week after reaching my boiling point and finally ending things with my uBPDexgf I decided to take this young lady out on a date to try and get my mind off my ex. I knew this woman for some time, she was going through her own trauma from the breakdown of a relationship with a narcissist and I figured it wouldn't do much harm to basically spend some time together in each other's company. As I walk into the restaurant to be seated, the hostess seats me directly next to my ex's BEST FRIEND and her fiancé! 

The irony of this whole thing is that my ex does not even live in my city, her best friend coincidentally moved to my city to be with her now fiancé who is actually from my city. I've know them for about 3 years and have NEVER seen them out ANYWHERE. Of course, the one night I take this woman out after my b/u I see them (life is very funny sometimes).  So, long story short, word must have gotten back to my ex and from that night forward her social media accounts were inundated with pictures of my ex and my replacement. Pictures of them together kissing, pictures of coffee that he bought her for work and her talking about how much he spoils her and how lucky she is to be with him (note that this is two weeks after we just returned from a 2 week vacation to Europe that I essentially paid for the entire thing) - how lucky she is to get coffee from the guy she cheated on me with!   She even posted pictures of them two together at HIS MOTHER'S FUNERAL! talk about sick! So, yeah, they don't take it well.

[Moonie75]

I broke up with my ex on December 13th. I was spotted last night in a pub with an attractive woman, by some friends of my ex. They made a point of making sure I was aware we'd been seen. We all know that will have been passed on to my ex immediately!


I haven't heard a peep from her!

In fact, the silence is unnerving!

[livetoride87]

its defanantly the silence that is un nerving like ever since the break up she told me countless times that I was the best bf she ever had she does know why her feelings just changed it is what it is ... like just cold as ice ay ... then cuts you out completely silence for 3-4 months have nt heard a peep out of her but the only thing she would do is try and talk to my friends hang out with my friends and leaving her car outside a friends place even though shes not even there so I can see her car ... stalk my friends and familys facebook but wont even talk to me ... it does my head in even trying to figure out what she is going to do when she realizes I was yes the best bf she had and will ever have ...   but until then I suppose I have to wait and see if she does contact me if she does shes going to get a big hit off don't talk to me ... then I can fully move on ...

[growing_wings]

ISo, long story short, word must have gotten back to my ex and from that night forward her social media accounts were inundated with pictures of my ex and my replacement. Pictures of them together kissing, pictures of coffee that he bought her for work and her talking about how much he spoils her and how lucky she is to be with him (note that this is two weeks after we just returned from a 2 week vacation to Europe that I essentially paid for the entire thing) - how lucky she is to get coffee from the guy she cheated on me with!   She even posted pictures of them two together at HIS MOTHER'S FUNERAL! talk about sick! So, yeah, they don't take it well.

DOwnandout... indeed waht a coincidence... . maybe that had to happen?

anyway, yeah, mine uses social media and telling people about how HAPPY she is now, etc.etc.etc, she posts photos and photos and photos with my substitute, whom is totally devoted to her (an old recycle)

the interesting part of this, is i know that she uses social media to build the image of "herself" that wants to project to the world. She always posted photos or status that indicated how happy, centered, patience, loving, etc she was, when i knew, at that very moment, she was having a rage or just coming out of it. So, i dont believe what she posts straight away.

[Love Is Not Enough]

Instead he spent six grand on putting her in outpatient rehab for meth and getting her rotten chops fixed. She still looks like a burn victim from digging at her face. Other than that she's a great person.

 LMAO, thanks for the laugh! I needed that! 

[Murbay]

I stayed with the new woman, and she turned out to be BPD as well.

BPD No 1 was so devilish, keeping NC was a walk in the park. Not so with BPD No 2 though.

I feel for you on this one as I did exactly the same, out of the frying pan and into the fire.

ExBPDw is pure evil, nasty and abusive and I haven't broken NC with her, despite still receiving monthly emails of bile and abuse. When exBPDgf came along, I was so focused on looking for the red flags that exBPDw displayed that I ignored the new ones being displayed. In terms of BPD, they were both very different and it wasn't until exBPDgf told me she had been diagnosed that I knew.

It caught me very much off guard, but when I look at it, although they were very different the core issues were exactly the same. They just manifested in very different ways but then again, why shouldn't they? It's not like pwBPD are identical.

One glaring similarity they both had was that they were both very jealous of the women in my life. That included my mother, my sister, my daughters, female friends and even my daughters mothers. I'm not that close to my mother and my sister lives abroad so it's not like there was any competition. My exBPDw befriended my daughters mother, I'm still convinced she did this because of her own disordered thinking. The belief that you go back to a good ex and could not comprehend that 2 people could remain friends after a relationship, especially when children are involved. I saw my exBPDgf do exactly the same to her exh's exgf. She contacted her to paint him black and for assurance that she wouldn't take him back at any point.

Don't think I want to imagine what would happen if they found out I was dating again if that was the behaviour during a relationship.

[In_n_Out]

My dBPDxgf said many times in person and in emails during the last breakup/recycle cycle's that "she hopes that I find the one that will truly love me for me and that she will love me for the person that I am" (paraphrasing).  I might have to dig up the actual words because it always seemed to me to be sort of "I know that I'm messed up and can't be the one for you, but I care enough for you to let you go to go find that special person.  The person that I can't be".  Of course, I'm sure that I'm very much reading in to that.

[DownandOut]

My dBPDxgf said many times in person and in emails during the last breakup/recycle cycle's that "she hopes that I find the one that will truly love me for me and that she will love me for the person that I am" (paraphrasing).  I might have to dig up the actual words because it always seemed to me to be sort of "I know that I'm messed up and can't be the one for you, but I care enough for you to let you go to go find that special person.  The person that I can't be".  Of course, I'm sure that I'm very much reading in to that.

I got the same exact BS. Except, mine told me that one day I will find someone and it will "take." Imagine that! It'll take? Sounds like a parasite attaching to its host!

[pilgrim]

My ex BIL (we married and divorced BPD sisters) got in a situation where, after he'd remarried overseas, he spent the night in a house here where his BPD ex was visiting also.  She entered his room in the middle of the night and got into bed with him, etc. etc.

Not long after that, she called his new wife gleefully shouting "I had sex with your husband . . ."

Be forwarned.

I love the fish analogy above.