FOG Almost Gone.

[Turkish]

I've had S4 and D1 for a week I've taken of work. X left Wed for out of state (family reasons). I actually got anxious when it gt close to the time picking her up from the airport tonight, but it was ok. I still try not to look at her when we talk (as little as possible, though I know shed have no problem talking to me, she still wants to be very best buds).

I enjoyed the hell out of having my little monsters to myself. Did several local wilderness hikes and picnics. Took them out of town for 2 days, and enjoyed not WoE about when they ate, what they wore, or dealing with her social anxiety or ruining the secret script running in her head of how the day should go. In short, I got to be ME. My kids, in between the occasional tantrums, are hilarious and irreverent. They get that from me. I was thinking the past two days if I would miss her. No. I find her falling in love (need) with some likely himself disordered kid nothing short of disgusting. Let those children have each other; they deserve it. I deserve peace. That is my closure, peace, and that I can finally be myself again, not being wrapped up in trying to unsucessfuly fill a black hole of emptiness.

More drama will follow, oh much more I am sure, so stay tuned... . the lawyer sent the first draft of the stipulation. Have to go over it with her, but she should be ok for a while once she's gone (Monday night!). Then the interesting things will start, probably in a few months... . I think my flea is expecting to see it, and this is one last emotionally immature thing I need to let go. All in all, I know what its like to be in a r/s with her. Whether I see it or not, I know, and that is enough. Let her take her neediness and Queenly controlling nature out on someone else. Peace, yes, forever peace. I deserve it, so do we all.

[NoCRV]

Congrats Turkish!  You deserve it!