But you know BPD, when she gets upset she has a total meltdown, talks about how everything is horrible with the house and the neighborhood and how she "has to get out right now", and how she can't have our son living in this neighborhood.
Part 1: BPDMy uBPDw does similar things, setting up can't win situations using minor irritations that can't be easily fixed. I have called it Making Volcanoes out of Molehills - and guess what, they all have this common ending that involves either her or me leaving. It's a clever ruse that the pwBPD's dysregulated thought process comes up with to nuke the relationship.
One tactic I have been working on to the defuse the sudden-leaving blowups is repeating a calm mantra: "It's not good to make major decisions when you are upset." Usually this has two main reactions from her... .
A) a sudden topic switch to other,completely unrelated, triggers and/or minor irritants newly upgraded to major triggers.
B) an attack based on my obvious stupidity and/or evil intentions of minimizing the danger of the original thing that is being flimsily propped up as such a huge reason for leaving.
Both can be dealt with using the simple "I do not want to fight/argue" boundary, but the important victory is to disrupt the dysregulation focus on the main volcano, which can lead to a dispersal of negative energy.
On a really good day, I may get lucky and successfully broach the topic of "Why are you getting so upset?", which allows me to work in the dreadfully taboo topic of Therapy.
Part 2: Real Estate and The Changing NeighborhoodI own a house in a neighborhood that went downhill. I moved us out of state (long story... . BPD involved... . ) and have been using a recommended-as-trustworthy property mgmt company to rent it out. For the first 3 years I made like $18 a month but didn't get foreclosed.
All neighborhoods change over time. I know of one locally where I live now that was a glittering new middle-class-posh development some 15-20 years ago, now it's sliding downhill. I drove around it garage-saling and pointed out to my young son the unkempt lawns, broken down cars, scattered trash, and gang-sign graffiti that mark the not-so-good side of town. But I know that eventually, if the economy holds up, rising real estate prices will tempt landlords (usually those burned by bad tenants) to sell to hard-working folk who are not well-off but will take much better care of the property - and the neighborhood will rebound.
The neighborhood where my old house is in is being revived now, apparently enough hard-working owners bought up the foreclosures and not the slumlords. They tell me there's not even any boarded-up houses on that block now.
If your neighborhood is getting bad, and by bad I mean steadily rising car & house burglaries, shootings, foreclosed houses boarded up and then broken into, gang graffiti everywhere, son getting bullied/befriended by gang-banger kids at school and on your block, etc, then maybe you should research ways to get the Fk out.
If the economy tanks then it'll free-fall from not-so-good to ghetto and then to slum. Worse case: there are parts of Detroit that are nearly abandoned and the police & fire depts simply don't go into. I know a guy whose house there would not sell for $1.00 and he just abandoned it.
But if it's a case of an ordinary working-class neighborhood (I live in one like this now) where there may be a few bad apples then the best thing to do is to throw a ton of effort into improving your house and landscaping over the next few years. This will spark a certain amount of keeping-up-with-the-Jonses amongst at least a couple of your neighbors and the neighborhood as a whole will incrementally improve real estate market values... . pricing out the slumlords who rent to the bad apples. If you have a bad apple owner, be a dick and call the city on them for unkempt lawns and dead cars parked in the street. The power-trippers who work for the city love to fine people for stuff like that. Or be a good guy and help them out with cleaning their place up, maybe they're elderly and can't push a mower any more.
I got my uBPDw excited about gardening this weekend, she's VERY susceptible to keeping-up-with-the-Jonses of course and she saw our new neighbors planting flowers. So it's a win-win.
But no matter what: don't let Ms. BPD make the decision to move when she's dysregulating. Run a search on this for about Moving and you'll see the pattern.