Survivor to Thriver Book-Are You Using It?

[BreatheDeep]

I've started reading the Survivor to Thriver free download book. It is so well written but I'm disappointed because in the book they strongly suggest that you have to be "safe" before you begin the healing steps.

I didn't pass the checklists which means I may not be able to handle the healing program. I haven't read ahead. I thought I'd stop and see what others think of this book/program.

[formflier]

Haven't heard of it... . please post a link to what you are talking about.

[BreatheDeep]

 It can be found though by going "Home" and then click on "Book Reviews" tab. Scroll down about a dozen titles and there it is.

It's specifically for adult survivors of child abuse.

Survivor to Thriver (free download)

[BreatheDeep]

Thank you Skip for putting the link in for me.

BTW, Skip, or anyone, are there more than one L5 board? I posted this thread in what I thought was L5 and then this morning I couldn't find it there.

[P.F.Change]

Hi, BreatheDeep,

I'm glad to see you're trying out the manual. There is some good stuff in there. We have a clickable outline over in the right-hand margin of this board to make it a little more accessible. While the 21 steps are not necessarily linear, members here will be moving through the three main stages of Remembering, Mourning, and Healing.

The manual does begin with a section on Safety First. It is hard to resolve old childhood issues while we are in the midst of a current crisis such as suicidal ideation or domestic violence. The risk assessment questions are there to help us identify areas we need to stabilize first before doing the difficult work of recovery. I think there are also tips on various ways to do that and find support.

Were you able to finish reading through the whole chapter? Toward the end, it does say this: "It is not necessary to fully resolve these problems--that will come as you work through recovery--but successful recovery depends on your taking steps to bring some order to your life." If you are comfortable letting us know which areas you may need support to work on first before delving into your childhood abuse recovery, we may be able to point you toward some resources. Do you currently have a therapist?

Wishing you peace,

PF

P.S. Yes, there are currently four [L5] boards here at bpdfamily. Look for the one that starts with "Coping and Healing."

[BreatheDeep]

Thank you P.F. Change for your response.

I'm afraid of being overwhelmed by feelings and not have support. I had a "melt down" a year ago (Mother's Day) although I don't remember much of it I found myself driving around taking Valiums and Xanax and calling the suicide hotline.

I'll be 60 next month and I'm really not suicidal, never attempted, even the above situation was the worst or closest I've ever come. If I've lived this long I think it proves I'm not going to hurt myself.

It's the combination of suddenly feeling bad and having DH not being sympathetic that put me over the edge. High emotions makes him uncomfortable and angry, his attitude is cold which is similar to my parents.

If I knew that he "had my back" I feel like I could handle anything. For example, if I get upset, it would help if he held me and said things like, "It's going to be OK." or "You are safe" or "I'm here with you and I love you."  I think if I talk to him about this before I start remembering all the bad times growing up, especially giving him specific things to do and say, then he will be able to do it.

I'm between therapists right now. I've learned so much I wanted to work on my own for a while and save come money and increase my self-confidence.

I hate to ask DH for support because then I sound like I'm borderline! Which I'm OK with actually as long as I don't create negativity or have a negative impact on other people, especially DH. My therapists and psychiatrist have diagnosed me with Generalized Anxiety Disorder not borderline but still, I don't want to drag anyone down.

Thank you again for responding to my post! It feels like I'm getting support already, but you don't have to.