Thank you all,
I have to say the hardest thing for me was knowing to much about BPD and wanting to fix it. I just turned off a switch in the last couple of days and started to understnad this. I think getting the knowledge is important but the most important thing I learnt was how to apply it. I had a two moments that sort of added up to this, one of the members on here does audio books and what not. I purchased these specifically for the non-BPD stuff, how to recover etc. The other was my P asking me,
":)o you want a relationship with a person who I beleive has no empathy, no remorse, no direction and no respect for anyone other than herself". Sort of forced me to question myself and look at me more than her.
Problem I had was knowing to much and wanting to fix it all. Reality is I have to fix myself, I have problems that I failed to recognise, failed to address. I was concentrating on exBPD problems not mine.
The thing that tied it all together for me was having that knowledge all there about her problems and having someone tie it all together for me in essence made me forget what I knew, and just concentrate on me.
I couldnt recomend it enough to people to keep talking with others on this board and listen to what they say, be open about what they say and read every other book/article you can read. For me I have to much of the recomended reading, the thing I needed to see was that I had to work on myself.
Small plug for all the "P's" out their. Get a good one and stick with them, my P has helped me so much, without him, this board and my friends and family I would be lost.
Small plug for all the books and websites out there, read them but concentrate on yourself when doing so. The thing that helped me the most was this factor. I'll throw in what helped me sort of concentrate on myself. If your going to read there are plenty of free articles etc and lots of people here with first hand experience. If your going to pay for things pay for things that are going to help you. I know you deserve it, pay for things for yourself to understand yourself, your role and how you can be happier and healthier.
www.phoenixrisingpublications.ca/item.php?itemId=26&category=24 This helped me alot, about how I contributed and why I cant change it or understand it. Made the rest of my knowledge all come together.
Dont buy it if you dont want to, at the end of the day we are all different
BUT all the same with the fact that we can only influence change in ourselves.
