Moved on, and happy

[kevmo1967]

Hi everyone.  a few years ago i was a regular on this board. I just want to tell everyone stay the course, it does get better. in 2008 I was laid off from my job,and was filled with fear and uncertainty about the future, and I guess that really triggered my BPD (then)wife. She spiraled out of control, cheated on me,  was actually hospitilized for a week in a psych ward, and lost her job, which was providing the health insurance for the both of us.   It was  A REALLY BAD YEAR! With no job, and no health insurance for counseling. I had to use these boards as a poor mans group therapy, as i worked through the divorce. there were the usual issues with divorcing a BPD in the divorce. She would agree to divorce terms and say sure I'll sign the papers whatever you need, then when i needed to actually  write up a split of the debts evenly from her rampant emotional shopping the yelling and the anger came back, then a week later she would be all smiles and reason and ask why i hadn't finalized the papers yet?

fast forward a few years, I went back to school  on a dislocated worker program, managed to muddle through the divorce papers and process on my own (couldn't afford a lawyer, both unemployed, luckily we had no children, made it so much simpler) am now employed at a job i love, and am happily married again to a woman with no mental issues.  all thanks to the help and support of these boards

so I just came back here to encourage everyone to stay the course, help each other out, and most importantly... . MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE, don't let your ex define you.

[Mutt]

Kevmo1967 that's a moving story.   Thank you for sharing.

[goldylamont]

that was awesome. i love it 

[heartandwhole]

Congrats kevmo,

Thanks for sharing that uplifting story!   Really glad to hear that things have turned out so well for you.  

What was the most helpful in your detachment process?

[Arminius]

I needed to read that, thanks!

[kevmo1967]

Congrats kevmo,

Thanks for sharing that uplifting story!   Really glad to hear that things have turned out so well for you.  

What was the most helpful in your detachment process?

the most helpful was the advice I got from this site on firm boundarys. you must set them, and be willing to disengage communication the moment those boundarys are breeched. always stay calm and rational, If the BPD person looses it,and starts to rage calmy walk away, hang up whatever and say we can discuss this when you are ready to deal calmly  with  this issue and this isssue only.

[Boisnix79]

Thanks so much for your story. Gives me hope, this was a very trying time and makes you question yourself in many areas. I'm happy for you and god bless.

[Lucky Jim]

Great stuff, Kevmo.  Inspiring.  Thank you for posting.  LuckyJim

[Tausk]

     

I just really like these thumbs up guys and am always looking for the opportunity to use them.  Thanks for checking back in. 

[Emelie Emelie]

Congratulations and thank you for sharing.  Just what I needed to read today.