Proud of myself :-)

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

Yesterday I ran into an old acquaintance. He was a friend of my uexBPDgf and is also a colleague of mine, but someone I rarely see. The last few times I met him (at least 6 months ago last time), he had been asking if I heard from my ex. She pretty much cut contact with everyone after she broke up with me - probably busy mirroring the replacement and assuming a new identity.

Anyway, yesterday I met him again and after the normal polite exchanges he went on "I talked on the phone with xxx, and she is doing ok... . ". I didn't let him continue, but broke him off with "I don't want to hear anything about her!". So he stopped and the conversation ended as he had to leave anyway.

I feel proud of myself, because it would have been easy to start pumping him for knowledge about her - but I didn't. If she resumed contact with him, I am pretty sure this will probably find it's way back to her too, which I am quite satisfied about. Also, it didn't trigger me the least bit.  

So to everyone out there, have faith. I does get easier. I am 6 month NC and there is a girl that I am really interested in and I hope and prey it will move forward with her. If I could choose to have her or my ex in my life right now, I would definitely choose the new girl I am interested in.

[GuiltHaunted]

Yesterday I ran into an old acquaintance. He was a friend of my uexBPDgf and is also a colleague of mine, but someone I rarely see. The last few times I met him (at least 6 months ago last time), he had been asking if I heard from my ex. She pretty much cut contact with everyone after she broke up with me - probably busy mirroring the replacement and assuming a new identity.

Anyway, yesterday I met him again and after the normal polite exchanges he went on "I talked on the phone with xxx, and she is doing ok... . ". I didn't let him continue, but broke him off with "I don't want to hear anything about her!". So he stopped and the conversation ended as he had to leave anyway.

I feel proud of myself, because it would have been easy to start pumping him for knowledge about her - but I didn't. If she resumed contact with him, I am pretty sure this will probably find it's way back to her too, which I am quite satisfied about. Also, it didn't trigger me the least bit.  

So to everyone out there, have faith. I does get easier. I am 6 month NC and there is a girl that I am really interested in and I hope and prey it will move forward with her. If I could choose to have her or my ex in my life right now, I would definitely choose the new girl I am interested in.

[Littleleft]

  glad to hear you managed to avoid engaging in a conversation about what she's up to, I'm sure you did yourself a big favour there!

[GuiltHaunted]

Yes, I am too pretty sure it wouldn't have lead to anything positive. But it was funny, as there was like an inner voice saying "stopppp!" I guess this must be what detaching feels like. 

[Littleleft]

Fantastic! 

I suppose whilst in r/s's with people with BPD we tend to start ignoring our inner voice or intuition because it has told us we should leave the r/s when  didn't want to hear or admit it.

I've recently realised that I've been ignoring mine for a long time.  It's been telling me what I should really do, but I haven't been willing to listen to it. I now know that it's a stupid thing to do to ignore that inner voice, and I'm certainly going to be taking that away from the r/s as a learning point.

Sounds like you started to hear yours again which is great news!