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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Would they want to hear from us?  (Read 4574 times)
BacknthSaddle
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« Reply #30 on: July 12, 2014, 12:08:53 PM »

1. I don't want to be forgotten

2. I miss talking to her

Call her, see what happens.

Perhaps you could be her non sexual boyfriend, lend her a shoulder to cry on, or money (she could use it to buy new underwear for her new BF/GF/obsession), Hey she could sabotage your chances of a healthy relationship by flirting in front of your new fledgling romance, she could b___ you off and make you look weak behind your back. You could wait in line hoping she may throw you a crumb in the far future.

I've seen the xBFs of these people who hang around, it is humiliating, they are single, slightly depressed, leading part time lives, still getting sucked into the BPD black hole. You could sit at a bar with her new boyfriend, while he looks at you with odd suspicion and she flirts with you to provoke him. Perhaps you could sit with other xBFs and have uncomfortable conversations, , then one of them takes her home. Then you could carry on drinking with the other orbiting xBFs amazed that she was with any of them, except you of course. Those guy are arses.!

Still it will be worth it because you won't be 'forgotten', or the late night 'talks' when she needs some validation because her new boyfriend is abusive, or she is drunk, or he is working hard to buy her ribbons and bows.

I've not been one of these, but I have sat there thinking 'this is weird'.

But maybe that's what you are worth, maybe that's what you want, that's your call.

God I hope there is 'them' and 'us'

If not I'll work harder to be me and not them.

I think there is 'them', there is on the DSM? Isn't there? Perhaps I dreamt the crazy, ah! I wake up and it was just a nightmare, we are at the beginning of our relationship and she is soo happy if a little drunk, then we ... .**********************

Good luck with all that.

This is perfect. Whether is sex or conversation on remembrance, all we're really looking for is some form of validation, and we're looking for it from people who care about nothing other than having their own needs met. True absurdity.
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cosmonaut
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« Reply #31 on: July 12, 2014, 12:23:30 PM »

Hello Eric1.  There is no road map, unfortunately.  There are a wide range of experiences here.   The times I have broken NC, I have received no response, which has served only to teach me that the only answers are within me.

This has been my experience too.  The only response I ever received was a text asking me to never contact her again.  No explanation.  No discussion.  The end.  This was after she had told me that she wanted us to remain friends and that I could call her if I wanted.  One of the very last things she ever said to me was "we'll talk soon".

No, I don't think they want to hear from us.  It's too complicated and too painful.  If they do want to hear from us, they will initiate contact.  Stories of us initiating contact and things going well are few and far between, unfortunately.
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Eric1
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« Reply #32 on: July 13, 2014, 06:01:43 AM »

Was out on my date and... .Had a missed call... .From the ex.

It was unlike her just to call the once, but she did.

Very surprised.
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BorisAcusio
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« Reply #33 on: July 13, 2014, 06:10:19 AM »

Hello Eric1.  There is no road map, unfortunately.  There are a wide range of experiences here.   The times I have broken NC, I have received no response, which has served only to teach me that the only answers are within me.

No, I don't think they want to hear from us.  It's too complicated and too painful.  If they do want to hear from us, they will initiate contact.  Stories of us initiating contact and things going well are few and far between, unfortunately.

Well, my ex repeateadly broke NC every month since we parted last year and I see her act as breeching my boundaries. Nons do the same with their BPDexes and it is just as creepy.
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« Reply #34 on: July 13, 2014, 09:07:41 AM »

They don't *want* so much as feel the need when they're alone, between replacements, and desperate. Sometimes it's the same with non-disordered folk. They call because they're lonely. No one's entirely above that sort of petty selfishness.

As for us contacting them? Best avoided entirely.

I dropped things off at the hospital, asking *not* to see or be seen by her. Now that I think about it, I'm surprised folks actually took time out of their day to get it done. It actually kinda-sorta went against protocol. A small piece of the world shifted, just for me.  Smiling (click to insert in post)

Anyway, I don't know about the rest of you, but it would just hurt too much to reconnect. Knowing the pain she was in, the struggle she will inevitably go through. But also knowing that she's found a replacement.

We did have meaningful moments, and there were many instances she showered me with gifts and moments of thoughtfulness. But there was abuse and extreme selfishness, extreme being the operative word.

Remember those PSA's about drugs? Well, our BPDexes ARE the drugs. What do we say? How every drug ad ended with that black screen and bold white letters. Just say "no." It's like that. Don't do it. Not worth it, move on.

Oh and Changingman described things pretty well. It's brutal, and it's... .very hard to swallow. But it's true.
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Changingman
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« Reply #35 on: July 13, 2014, 01:28:55 PM »

If they want to contact you, they will. Stalking raises the value of the narcissistic supply. We were all stalked in some way or other. Mine stalked me for 3 months, unknown to me. When she said it I assumed she was joking, but I realised she had found everything on the web about me and had been arriving at pubs and events hoping id be there.

The fantasy of longing is a huge pull for them.
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Eric1
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« Reply #36 on: July 13, 2014, 02:04:29 PM »

If they want to contact you, they will. Stalking raises the value of the narcissistic supply. We were all stalked in some way or other. Mine stalked me for 3 months, unknown to me. When she said it I assumed she was joking, but I realised she had found everything on the web about me and had been arriving at pubs and events hoping id be there.

The fantasy of longing is a huge pull for them.

It took me by surprise that she tried calling. I honestly thought I wouldn't hear from her again. I didn't awnser & I haven't tried calling back. She would usually constantly ring till I eventually picked up, so it was out of character just to call the once.
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« Reply #37 on: July 13, 2014, 02:15:26 PM »

Anyway, I don't know about the rest of you, but it would just hurt too much to reconnect. Knowing the pain she was in, the struggle she will inevitably go through. But also knowing that she's found a replacement.

I actually think part of difficulty is in knowing that the replacements are temporary, are not likely to last.  If I knew my ex were going to be happily married to the replacement I've recently seen in pictures for the next 40 years, I might be able to just forget all about it.  But I know she'll be lonely again and reach out, which gives me "hope," although I don't know for what since I know any reconnect could only end in disaster.  Even worse, I know that the inevitable decline of the current relationship will just lead her to someone else, someone who is not me. 

Ultimately, this is about me.  I don't really care about her or who she's with, except that it's not me. There is work to do. 
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« Reply #38 on: July 13, 2014, 02:24:37 PM »

Ultimately, this is about me.  I don't really care about her or who she's with, except that it's not me. There is work to do. 

There's work to do because you still believe someone else is getting a better deal than you did for all the work you put into it, but once you truly accept that no one is, or will, you'll be able to move on. You already logically know the trouble she is, the pain and hatered and heartbreak she is, and there's nothing that she provided that you won't find better elsewhere.

Just please remember there was never anything there, and no matter how it may look, you already know the truth. Take all the time you need, I think we feel that because they moved on so quick we have to as well, and that's not true. We're handling it the proper way, they are not and never will.
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mywifecrazy
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« Reply #39 on: July 13, 2014, 03:24:31 PM »

Ultimately, this is about me.  I don't really care about her or who she's with, except that it's not me. There is work to do. 

There's work to do because you still believe someone else is getting a better deal than you did for all the work you put into it, but once you truly accept that no one is, or will, you'll be able to move on. You already logically know the trouble she is, the pain and hatered and heartbreak she is, and there's nothing that she provided that you won't find better elsewhere.

Just please remember there was never anything there, and no matter how it may look, you already know the truth. Take all the time you need, I think we feel that because they moved on so quick we have to as well, and that's not true. We're handling it the proper way, they are not and never will.

Exactly!

They moved on so quick because they are UNHEALTHY and their new r/s is unhealthy and if it's anything like my uBPDxw's new r/s it's built on a foundation of lies and deceit.

We were unhealthy in the relationship Too. We need to take our time and do the work that is necessary to get us through the valley of recovery and that will take us to the mountaintop of healing and health.

Can I get an AMEN?

Sincerely... .MWC Being cool (click to insert in post)
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The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. (Psalm 34:18, 19)
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« Reply #40 on: July 13, 2014, 03:34:53 PM »

Ultimately, this is about me.  I don't really care about her or who she's with, except that it's not me. There is work to do. 

There's work to do because you still believe someone else is getting a better deal than you did for all the work you put into it, but once you truly accept that no one is, or will, you'll be able to move on. You already logically know the trouble she is, the pain and hatered and heartbreak she is, and there's nothing that she provided that you won't find better elsewhere.

Just please remember there was never anything there, and no matter how it may look, you already know the truth. Take all the time you need, I think we feel that because they moved on so quick we have to as well, and that's not true. We're handling it the proper way, they are not and never will.

Yes this is all very true. Also: I think that, should you remain in contact, you're made to feel like the fact the moving on is difficult for you makes you weak or immature.
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« Reply #41 on: July 13, 2014, 03:56:01 PM »

Yes this is all very true. Also: I think that, should you remain in contact, you're made to feel like the fact the moving on is difficult for you makes you weak or immature.

Bingo! They will always cut you down, and make you feel horrible, no matter what. mine would always say "you should be happy for me, it's life get over it."  Basically they don't want you to succeed, and they're never direct. You'll never hear what you want to hear, ever. Take all the advice here and just walk away. It's the hardest walk but it's all you can do.
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Changingman
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« Reply #42 on: July 13, 2014, 04:01:10 PM »

Ultimately, this is about me.  I don't really care about her or who she's with, except that it's not me. There is work to do. 

There's work to do because you still believe someone else is getting a better deal than you did for all the work you put into it, but once you truly accept that no one is, or will, you'll be able to move on. You already logically know the trouble she is, the pain and hatered and heartbreak she is, and there's nothing that she provided that you won't find better elsewhere.

Just please remember there was never anything there, and no matter how it may look, you already know the truth. Take all the time you need, I think we feel that because they moved on so quick we have to as well, and that's not true. We're handling it the proper way, they are not and never will.

Exactly!

They moved on so quick because they are UNHEALTHY and their new r/s is unhealthy and if it's anything like my uBPDxw's new r/s it's built on a foundation of lies and deceit.

We were unhealthy in the relationship Too. We need to take our time and do the work that is necessary to get us through the valley of recovery and that will take us to the mountaintop of healing and health.

Can I get an AMEN?

Sincerely... .MWC Being cool (click to insert in post)

Amen

It was happening years before you met them, it was happening every minute of every day before you met them and while you were with them and after they leave. It is there when they eat, when they sleep, when they cut bread, chew gum or rub their eye. It seeps into the underlay of the carpet in the house, their job, your job, it slowly ruins families and innocent beloved family animals, your shoes, your internal organs, the cables to your TV, your credit rating.

They live this everyday like a toxic Midas touch, they produce hatred and envy, enmity among their brothers and sisters, feel nothing meaningful. You have just live through this chaos, time to heal now.

What a mess. Complete breakdown of everything you are and have.


But they loved you.  Ha ha ha ha





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BacknthSaddle
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« Reply #43 on: July 13, 2014, 04:29:58 PM »

You'll never hear what you want to hear, ever. Take all the advice here and just walk away. It's the hardest walk but it's all you can do.

How true. Mine recently texted to say " I miss my bed friend" and the. "We were very close friends and I value and love your friendship." When I pointed out that we were far more than just friends, because that way of speaking about is is just infuriating, she says "I can navigate those other feelings and be at peace that it wasn't meant to be." "Those other feelings" is the closest I'll ever get to acknowledgment that she used to say she loved more than air, more

than she knew it was possible to love another human, over and over for two years. That should talked about marriage and kids blah blah blah.

Of course, she's partly right. It wasn't meant to be. If anyone should be at peace with that, it's me.
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« Reply #44 on: July 13, 2014, 06:53:22 PM »

Write a list column eveything that was good about her then next to it write another column of everything bad about her. I'll bet there twice as many in the bad column. There was for me.
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« Reply #45 on: July 13, 2014, 07:00:58 PM »

But they loved you.  Ha ha ha ha

That just made me think of George Carlin.
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« Reply #46 on: July 13, 2014, 07:52:14 PM »

People with BPD have object constancy issues which means out of sight, out of mind.  My ex was low functioning so I can assume that she no longer thinks about me which is good.  I don't want her to.  The person I was in love with didn't exist.   It was an illusion.  When you  reach the point where you  have detached,  you won't miss her anymore.   The chaos, the lying,  the cheating.   You will  be free to find someone who is worthy of your love.  And it will happen and the nightmare you lived in will be in the past.  NC is just a tool to help you detach.
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« Reply #47 on: July 13, 2014, 08:56:48 PM »

People with BPD have object constancy issues which means out of sight, out of mind.  My ex was low functioning so I can assume that she no longer thinks about me which is good.  I don't want her to.  The person I was in love with didn't exist.   It was an illusion.  When you  reach the point where you  have detached,  you won't miss her anymore.   The chaos, the lying,  the cheating.   You will  be free to find someone who is worthy of your love.  And it will happen and the nightmare you lived in will be in the past.  NC is just a tool to help you detach.

I don't think it was all  an illusion but it was more just fleeting.  The illusion was our own projection just as much as they projected onto us. 
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peiper
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« Reply #48 on: July 13, 2014, 09:32:15 PM »

The last time she split with me, she called me after a month. Said her life was crap wirhout me. 

She had moved the another town and wanted me to sell my house and move there. If I did she would buy me a antique store. Heck she has no money. Just crazy!
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Narellan
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« Reply #49 on: July 13, 2014, 10:53:53 PM »

I'm not sure about the object permanence concept. I've heard it mentioned a few times but in my situation it seemed to be the opposite. My exBPD travelled interstate for a few months and his contact became so much more frequent. Several phonecalls and messages a day. He begged me to go to him which I did after only a fortnight of him being away. He said " I knew I loved you but didn't realise how much until I was away from you"

When he was home I heard from him most days but never so frequent.

Also if "out of sight out of mind" was a fact they would not attempt to recycle, they would have forgotten and moved on.
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bewildered2
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2 months good stuff, then it was all downhill


« Reply #50 on: July 14, 2014, 05:07:41 AM »

Was out on my date and... .Had a missed call... .From the ex.

It was unlike her just to call the once, but she did.

Very surprised.

Just another game, my friend.

She wants you to be thinking of her... .and you never know... .she may be keeping tabs on you and therefore knew you were out with someone new.

It happened to me. My BPDgf dumped me one night at a bar... .she went off with a group of her friends and told me I was not invited... .can you believe it... .and I didn't hear from her again for several months... .until the night I was out with another girl and must have been spotted by her or one of her friends who told her about it. When I got home later then night there was a long email of explanation waiting for me.

This, my friend, is what we used to call a "charm", but it is now called a "recycle" attempt.

She calls you, gets you thinking about her, wondering what's going on. And if you call she'll say it was a misdial, if she picks up. It will all be whatever suits her at the time. Keep you guessing, interfere with your moving on process, anything to make her feel a little better at your expense.

Stay strong. Don't take her bait!

b2
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« Reply #51 on: July 14, 2014, 05:54:26 AM »

I'm not sure about the object permanence concept. I've heard it mentioned a few times but in my situation it seemed to be the opposite. My exBPD travelled interstate for a few months and his contact became so much more frequent. Several phonecalls and messages a day. He begged me to go to him which I did after only a fortnight of him being away. He said " I knew I loved you but didn't realise how much until I was away from you"

This isn't a contradiction: if he knew you were there for him, he wouldn't need to reach out for you so much.  The more frequent contact is a way of continuously "peeking" to make sure you're still there. 
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« Reply #52 on: July 14, 2014, 07:25:57 AM »

I'm not sure about the object permanence concept. I've heard it mentioned a few times but in my situation it seemed to be the opposite. My exBPD travelled interstate for a few months and his contact became so much more frequent. Several phonecalls and messages a day. He begged me to go to him which I did after only a fortnight of him being away. He said " I knew I loved you but didn't realise how much until I was away from you"

This isn't a contradiction: if he knew you were there for him, he wouldn't need to reach out for you so much.  The more frequent contact is a way of continuously "peeking" to make sure you're still there. 

I agree.  Additionally, they fear and panic at real or perceived abandonment, when they have yet to split you black.
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« Reply #53 on: July 14, 2014, 11:14:05 AM »

At the very core of this thread is a problem not specific to people with BPD. Everyone wonders how their ex would respond if they reached out to them.

The difference is, BPD seems to supercharge the emotions resulting from this scenario, leading to irrational behavior from the pwBPD. However, their base emotions are very normal. The way their brain manifests these emotions is what causes a discrepancy.

In my backstory, my ex revealed to me that during our NC periods, she would spend months contemplating whether to call me or not. We happened to have a very understanding mutual friend who passed along my number and assured her it was okay for her to try and rekindle things. This basically meant that I could have walked into the coffee shop she worked at at any given time during our NC periods and made plans with her on the spot. It seems to be different for everybody though.
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Eric1
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« Reply #54 on: July 14, 2014, 12:21:06 PM »

I caved in and called her back. She answered, which took me by surprise. She said that she called by accident as she was supposed to call another person & that she's now deleted my number. We spoke for 10 minutes, nothing about us or anything. Thing that surprised me was that she unblocked my number. Even if you delete a contact, it will still remain under blocked.

Thinking too much into this, I know.

Don't know how I feel at the moment. Was nice speaking to her, but I'll still continue to move on.
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« Reply #55 on: July 14, 2014, 12:25:26 PM »

The call was unlikely to be a mis dial. It's a manipulation, almost certainly.

Mine managed to reach out and tap me on the shoulder when I was in a different country. She FB friend requested and messaged the guy I was visiting  at the precise moment I was in the bar with him. Coincidence? I don't think so.

Don't pay the game. If you do, you will most likely be set back.
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« Reply #56 on: July 14, 2014, 12:27:44 PM »

My ex once texted me late at night "are you in love with someone else?"  When I said "what are you talking about," she said "oh sorry, that was for my ex-husband." Mis-dialing seems to be a real problem for pwBPD Smiling (click to insert in post)
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« Reply #57 on: July 14, 2014, 01:36:13 PM »

I'm not sure about the object permanence concept. I've heard it mentioned a few times but in my situation it seemed to be the opposite. My exBPD travelled interstate for a few months and his contact became so much more frequent. Several phonecalls and messages a day. He begged me to go to him which I did after only a fortnight of him being away. He said " I knew I loved you but didn't realise how much until I was away from you"

When he was home I heard from him most days but never so frequent.

Also if "out of sight out of mind" was a fact they would not attempt to recycle, they would have forgotten and moved on.

Out of sight out of mind means that they don't feel as emotional about things until they're in contact. For instance they will shift all their emotion onto the new squeeze for the length of time that they are together. When they break up its anybodies game.

Also notice that they are so much more 'into you' when you're apart rather than when you're in physical contact, its almost creepy, stalkerish level of need for you to be in contact with one another... its because they need to keep talking so that you remain real for them,  they also need to control you, but more than anything its because the feeling fades, and if the feeling fades... then its over as far as they're concerned. Its why an internet/text/skype relationship doesn't last as long as one where you see one another everyday. Because of object constancy. Honestly... if you had the relationship I had... where I was with a BPD hermit who'se mother wasn't very much pleased about us... you would have seen the utter insanity of constant texting, the begging that we skype the moment I got home from work, and the real distance there seemed to be when we were actually together in person. It was the strangest relationship I ever had, and the most abusive. Theres nothing like being unable to turn skype off at night because you know if you did she would probably just leave you for someone else out of anger.

Now I get gibberish posted on my songs, and statuses just for me about how she has the worst concussion ever, and theres "summit wrong". eugh.
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« Reply #58 on: July 14, 2014, 01:41:20 PM »

The call was unlikely to be a mis dial. It's a manipulation, almost certainly.

Mine managed to reach out and tap me on the shoulder when I was in a different country. She FB friend requested and messaged the guy I was visiting  at the precise moment I was in the bar with him. Coincidence? I don't think so.

Don't pay the game. If you do, you will most likely be set back.

I was thinking that it wouldn't have been an accident. But, before she would have called till I picked up, which she didn't.

Unblocking me was a surprise , don't know if she's now blocked me or if I I'll hear from her again. Just got to keep reminding myself that I can't be with her... .  If she did ever try and come back.
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« Reply #59 on: July 14, 2014, 01:44:37 PM »

My ex once texted me late at night "are you in love with someone else?"  When I said "what are you talking about," she said "oh sorry, that was for my ex-husband." Mis-dialing seems to be a real problem for pwBPD Smiling (click to insert in post)

Yes mine's phone was broken and kept calling the wrong people... and "everyone knows about this phone"... I just had to laugh about that.

As if because 'everyone' - an exaggeration, knows about this phone I should know too. The level of hubris from these folks, as well as the comedy value of some things they say is astounding.
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