Books for Self Improvement

[learnandgrow]

I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but I'll try.

I'm recently out of a BPD relationship and trying to get myself back and fix any issues I have. I'm already going to therapy. But are there any other books that might be able to help me? For example, any on working through possible codependency issues, rebuilding confidence or self esteem, or just one with mindfulness exercises to help me work on myself? Also, anyone here use any other methods like mindfulness meditation?

My therapist recommended "Keeping the Love You Find" by Harville Hendrix but I am looking for others.

[heartandwhole]

Hi learnandgrow,

It's great that you are working on your growth, and I think mindfulness is a great way to improve your emotional well-being, it has certainly helped me.  Have you had a look at our Book Reviews?  We have tons of recommendations, and I'm sure you will find something that fits your goals.

Here is a book on DBT, which combines mindfulness with CBT.  It can be very helpful for pwBPD and others who are not BPD – in other words, all of us.  

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=213747.0

heartandwhole

[Aussie JJ]

Hi,

I recommend the book reviews and also identifying what you need to learn and change guiding you on what to purchase.  We are all different hence no one solution is ideal for everyone... .

www.bookdepository.com/Mans-Search-for-Meaning-Viktor-Frankl/9780807014295

if you are thinking its bad and want to know how the heck to get thru it.  Read this.  Not related to BPD etc and very powerful.  I first read it 6 odd years ago and it is still just as relevant to life in general. 

www.bookdepository.com/Radical-Acceptance-Tara-Brach/9780553380996?b=-3&t=-20#Fulldescription-20

this was and still is very powerful for me reading and learning to 'accept' what I cant change. 

www.bookdepository.com/Letting-Go-Shame-Ronald-Potter-Efron/9780894866357

This, with ACT, mindfulness/radical acceptance is very powerful. 

www.bookdepository.com/Trauma-Bonding-Family-Constellations-Franz-Ruppert/9780955968303

I am reading this now for the second time.  I have learnt alot about my FOO issues here and how the relationship developed from this book.  Still processing it all.  It is a fairly dry read however it has helped me a lot with not only BPD understanding but FOO understanding. 

www.bookdepository.com/Healing-from-Trauma-Jasmin-Lee-Cori/9781600940613

Another trauma book.  This one is very straight forward and easy to read, I enjoyed this as it gave me a path to start walking and made me realise that its all ok, normal etc. 

www.bookdepository.com/Verbally-Abusive-Relationship-Patricia-Evans/9781440504631

My abuse was verbal and emotional.  This let me recognise it.  Part of ACT and mindfullness/RA is naming the feeling etc.  This has let me label abuse when it is happening and given me ways to counter it. 

www.bookdepository.com/Codependents-Guide-Twelve-Steps-Melody-Beattie/9780671762278

This is good for explaining the 12 steps approach.  Their are other codependance books however this one came with a 'plan' for working through it. 

www.bookdepository.com/Art-Empathy-Karla-McLaren/9781622030613

This stopped me being angry... .  I recommend this before the others.  This should be up the top... .

I'm doing this off my phone but for me, ACT was very simple with mindfullness and allowed me to be 'present' and recognise the other content I was reading.  ACT made simple is a good book and I would put that in as well. 

I would recommend reading absolutely nothing on BPD unless you have to remain in contact with her because of kids etc.  Focus on doing stuff for you for a couple months and then read about BPD when you are doing better.  I started by reading about BPD and that only made me worse... .

Others I haven't read yet... .

My P has recomended this and said he would give me his copy.  It has some good reviews.  Don't know yet. 

www.bookdepository.com/Feeling-Good-David-Burns/9780380810338

this I believe is relevant to all of us.  End of the day BPD ex has abandoned us.  I have ordered it but not yet had a read. 

www.bookdepository.com/Journey-from-Abandonment-Healing-Susan-Anderson/9780425172285

[Aussie JJ]

To add to this, read, learn, processing is all very powerful.  Do something active for yourself by yourself.   Go for a daily walk listening to music and have some time where you just concentrate on walking and listening to music.  Doing this for me helped me practice mindfulness etc. 

[Aussie JJ]

Sorry I forgot about this as well. 

https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/moodgym

Its online CBT stuff for depression.   A good place to start while waiting for the book to arrive.   

[Mutt]

I read something everyday about mindfulness, but I thought I would share on mobile as well. I'll glance down at my phone if I'm in a line, or in bed. I follow and check tweets from @dailyzen

www.twitter.com/dailyzen

www.thedailyzen.org/?m=1

[Lucky Jim]

Hi l&g,

For mindfulness, I like Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn.

For personal transformation, I like The Art of Possibility by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander.

For men's issues, I like Iron John by Robert Bly.

All three books have been tremendously helpful for me.

LuckyJim

[Xtrange]

The reality slap by Russ Harris

www.amazon.com/The-Reality-Slap-Finding-Fulfillment/dp/160882280X/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

[goldylamont]

these two books were instrumental in my recovery. i still use the wisdom in them today. seriously, get these books! anything by these two authors is top notch:

www.amazon.com/Language-Emotions-What-Feelings-Trying/dp/1591797691/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1385639154&sr=1-1&keywords=the+language+of+emotions+by+karla+mclaren

www.amazon.com/Mastery-Love-Practical-Relationship-Toltec-ebook/dp/B005BSQWVM/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1406162361&sr=1-1&keywords=the+mastery+of+love+by+don+miguel+ruiz

[corraline]

I like Jeffrey Young's   Reinventing your Life   (good one for finding your life traps and working thru them )

I also like Crisis Points by Julian Sleigh    (working thru personal problems)

Emotional Alchemy by Tara Bennet Goleman   (mindfulness and schema )

I just read most of Search for the Real Self  J Masterson and i was concerned it would be dry but it certainly wasn't , it was very interesting and found myself in there , not finished it quite yet but seeing me in there gave me an eye opener and insight to what where and why