I’ve read quite a few articles about women who have been married to selfish career guys, mentally ill or both who are same age as me who are leaving their husbands and looking for some personal growth. They sound quite attractive to me, I’d like to be with someone who wants that & share it.
Hey BPDbreakout,
It seems (from what you've said here, looking at it from her perspective) that you're already married to this attractive sounding woman
I get your point, you were at a low spot after surgery and could've used a little extra TLC. I've had to take ownership for my part in my passive-aggressive ways, without justifying it. What's good for the goose isn't always what's good for the gander.
Being in a relationship with a pwBPD means (for me) having to state my needs clearly time and time again. Can it be frustrating? You betcha! Have I had to accept that in order to get my needs met it will be this way from time to time? Mm hmm.
Threats, ultimatums, surly controlling attitudes, resentment are all relationship killers. Eliminating these things from my life has cleared a path forward, regardless of what he does. It's what I do and how I conduct my life that has helped to build trust in the relationship.
We are the emotional leaders! We have to be, they have BPD.
I hope this is just another bump in the road for you and your family.