Enough with uHPD friend on facebook...

[Louise7777]

Hi guys!

I posted long ago about this "friend". She is uHPD/ BPD and as you all know, difficult to deal with.

It was always the same routine: a funny and smart friend that rages at me from time to time. I limited contact in the past but she comes back, sends me emails or tags me, so I answer. Big mistake. It may take some time, but she rages at me at some point. She admited (on facebook!) that fighting makes her calmer.

So when she disrespected me on my wall I merely deleted all, didnt reply. I have been not answering for maybe a month... .Then yesterday i posted something on my page (political stuff) and she called me a liar. Then posted on my wall something about liars. That was it for me, I deleted all and unfriended her. Didnt answer, didnt engage, nothing.

I should had done this much sooner. She has a witty side, but its too much a price to be subjected to her craziness. I used to be on skype with her listening her monologues for hours. It was so much talk about nothing. No validation from her, just the opposite, she once got personal info and used it against me the next day. Im relieved I wont deal with her anymore, but I believe she will denounce me on facebook and I´ll be punished. She usually calls her fb friends and gangs up on people (she has 1600 friends now... .if 10% of them report me for something, Im gone from fb... .Lol).

Anyway, just wanted to share this experience cause I know many of you struggle with uPDs and facebook. Its a great tool for them to get attention and at the same time, punish people that were turned black... .Lets see what happens.

[Rubies]

Here's a clue, "Friends" don't treat people that way, neither should Family.

Your life, your rules, you get to choose who's in it.

[Louise7777]

Exactly, Rubies. I allowed family members to disrespect me, but since I "woke up" its over. If Im not taking it from my own blood, I wont take it from a so called friend.

I noticed that, like young children, they push you to see where your limits are. I still have a lot to improve, I still let go some things, but Im getting better at it. Thank you for the support.

[Rubies]

If you think in order to feel safe from shrew crew FB drama from her and her "friends," go through and block those people who may be potential problems for you too.  It's wonderful not having to worry about being blindsided by stuff like that anymore.

We outgrow friends as we change and they don't.  People don't like change, but we can't let them hold us back.   I occasionally read posts by a former friend to who became snarly and nasty with me.  She posts to another friend who made radical positive changes in her life too, and posts her happiness, success and contentment.   What she posts to our mutual friend is how jealous, miserable, unfair.   I used to be close friends with that?  Until she told me my happiness wasn't REAL.

Cull, cull, cull people out of your life down to a few who actually care about your wellbeing.  This frees up a lot of time to work toward positive life and people experiences.

[workinprogress]

Here's a clue, "Friends" don't treat people that way, neither should Family.

Your life, your rules, you get to choose who's in it.

Awesome quote!

[Louise7777]

Thanks God I changed over time. In many ways. And definetly, people usually arent happy when we change, specially if we stop enabling them.

Like you, I see my ex "friend" posts regarding other people. She can be very aggressive towards them. Like she has no filter. She calls people arrogant, liars, stupid... .I believe most people see something is off and dont engage. I havent answered her comments on my wall or her emails for about 2 months, maybe. So, hopefully, she wont realize I unfriended her. At least for some time.

Facebook seems to be a great tool for NPDs and attention-seekers in general.  Its actually scary even to watch from a distance. Im sure it would make a great doctoral thesis on PDs.

[funfunctional]

Hi there,

Couldn't agree more with what everyone else posted so far.

I think it's public embarrassment and slanderous when people post stuff like that on Facebook.  I would not only defriend her but I would block her too from sending you private messages.   With friends like that who needs enemies?

Lose the people that abuse Facebook.  It is not different than if she face to face called you a liar or called you on the phone and did that.