God's purpose for BPDs? (Christian discussion)

[Ryan9181]

I have been thinking a lot about this recently.   And it's most likely a controversial topic, with a lot of judgement surrounding it.  But I have been wondering... .what is God's (or a higher power, the universe) purpose for BPD's?   They seem like lost souls that most likely will never recover.  They are not necessarily evil people, but they certainly exhibit evil tendencies.   I might even consider my ex as someone from the "dark side" disguised as a charming, beautiful woman, that can flip on the "good" switch at her command.    It seems evil and dark.   This is an existential question and I don't know the answer myself, but am curious what other's thoughts are on this?    

I'd like to think of BPD's in an empowering context, that for one, they were put on earth to allow us to grow spiritually, mentally, into the person's we were meant to be.  They are here as a challenge to live a more grounded life, based in reality, where we can step into our own power and possibly raise a family, or live a beautiful life of our own creation.    But what about them and their own journey?

This whole thing has been a huge challenge for me, and has caused me to really look at myself, my own insecurities, motivations, and my own "dark side".   But I know I am good person.   I question whether my exBPD really is.    

So that leads me back to my original question, what is their purpose?  

[Ihope2]

Thank you for raising this question. I struggle with this so much - understanding why some suffer so much more than others in this life.  Why some people's childhood was so stuffed up with so much abuse and torment and lack of loving care, that they become the damaged, screwed up personality-disordered individuals they are as adults... .

The answer is probably related to one's religious / spiritual beliefs and general philosophy on life in general.

To make some sense of things, I tell myself that we live in an imperfect world.  I don't know what the reasons are for this, but we haven't been done right by it and perfection awaits us elsewhere.

Perhaps we also do not just live one life, but cycle through various re-incarnations, until finally the spirit within us has awakened to whatever it is it needs to awaken to and then finally reach perfection and never have to shuffle under this mortal coil again?

Who knows.

[thereishope]

I have been thinking a lot about this recently.   And it's most likely a controversial topic, with a lot of judgement surrounding it.  But I have been wondering... .what is God's (or a higher power, the universe) purpose for BPD's?   They seem like lost souls that most likely will never recover.  They are not necessarily evil people, but they certainly exhibit evil tendencies.   I might even consider my ex as someone from the "dark side" disguised as a charming, beautiful woman, that can flip on the "good" switch at her command.    It seems evil and dark.   This is an existential question and I don't know the answer myself, but am curious what other's thoughts are on this?    

I'd like to think of BPD's in an empowering context, that for one, they were put on earth to allow us to grow spiritually, mentally, into the person's we were meant to be.  They are here as a challenge to live a more grounded life, based in reality, where we can step into our own power and possibly raise a family, or live a beautiful life of our own creation.    But what about them and their own journey?

This whole thing has been a huge challenge for me, and has caused me to really look at myself, my own insecurities, motivations, and my own "dark side".   But I know I am good person.   I question whether my exBPD really is.    

So that leads me back to my original question, what is their purpose?  

I appreciate you posting this.   As a Christian, who entered into this marriage (on a recycle) with uBPDh who promised he was ready to "walk forward in the lord together with me", i was very purposed to give the lord everything, and was looking forward to serving him together with what I thought was a like-minded individual (major projection). Long story short, 10 months later I am almost an empty shell of a person, gaslighted into having to try my hardest to somehow swim to the surface and claim my identity again, my strong determination to go after the lord in a whole-hearted, sold-out way. Thank god, he is faithful to never leave us or forsake us and he has been with me, giving me scriptures and sermons/messages that are strengthening me slowly to stand up and fight (as you know we fight not against flesh and blood). So I am in the process of trying to break free of this oppression/dark cloud/hindrance/evil. That i have come to realize it is. The horrible part of it is that the "white" part of uBPDh is "trying" to better himself (in ways he knows how), but the BPD stuff (horrible devaluing/silent treatment/raging/anger/harsh tone/belittling expressions, etc.) is still being practiced and I have simply had to realize that BPD is actually destroying me physically. The past two nights I have awoken around 3am, with my chest aching, can't go back to sleep. If i had a portal like spock I would have cried, "beam me up scotty!" long before now, but I have to trudge my way through thinking through and executing the slow agonizing process of leaving the man i thought was my soul mate. Please pray for my health and strength while I do this.  The last few days I've really started to be concerned.

[Fluff]

I don't know about any universally guided purposes for my ex, but I know that for me, she had the purpose of waking me up. She did me a big favor.

[thereishope]

I don't know about any universally guided purposes for my ex, but I know that for me, she had the purpose of waking me up. She did me a big favor.

My situation with uBPDh has definitely woken me up as well. 

[hope4tomorrow]

I have thought about this often also.  The only thing I've come up with is that I've learned a lot about myself and have become a much stronger individual through this relationship.  So maybe that was God's purpose for putting me with my husband.  I've also had to work on letting go of bitterness and anger, those will be good skills going forward in life.

It's hard, I feel like there must have been another way for me to learn the lessons I've learned over the past year or so, but maybe there wasn't.

[Skip]

So that leads me back to my original question, what is their purpose?  

Clearly you are not the first person to ponder this question... .

I've often thought that God asks us to find our own purpose and recognize our own sin and not judge others as its is he that judges the living and the dead.  Can we possibly know the purpose of a snowflake, or the Panda bear, or Katrina, or genocide or cancer - or is it really about us reaching for the strength to be good Christians in the face of life challenges.

We don't know the shame our ex-partners have been through - they may have face far greater challenges than we have ever known.  We may have been part of that.  How can we judge?

I've often thought that an all powerful God doesn't need to control everything or orchestrate every event in the universe - that maybe he controls very little and put his energy and faith in us to help us make it through.  That sending his son to live among us was to gain an understanding of the challenges that we all face so that he would know how to guide the faithful through dark times.

I'm watching a beloved slowly die of cancer these days.  I know that Jesus knows this pain far more than I and I can trust his guidance at a time like this.  

He knows how you suffered too and he can lead you to heal and go forward and have a purposeful life.

[Hawk Ridge]

I am so grateful for this post as I have struggled so deeply with this issue.  In trying to go through the stages of grief as I make my way through the darkness of PTSD, i haven't allowed myself to access anger, just fear, shame, anxiety.  I go right to compassion for the pain that caused the abuse, the objectifying, and finally the discard.  I have never been closer to God as I cling to his life raft of love.  This thread is another gift from him to help me discern and put one foot in front of the other as this visceral pain of loss and confusion wakes me every day. From my heart, thank you.

[Harri]

I'd like to think of BPD's in an empowering context, that for one, they were put on earth to allow us to grow spiritually, mentally, into the person's we were meant to be.  They are here as a challenge to live a more grounded life, based in reality, where we can step into our own power and possibly raise a family, or live a beautiful life of our own creation.    But what about them and their own journey?

I think their journey is the same as ours.  Their purpose is, as you say, to "grow spiritually, mentally, into the person's we were meant to be" just as it is ours.  Their purpose is not to help us on our journey but to walk their own.  Some are more hellish than others.

That dark side you talk about exists in all of us.  Some people never have to face their own darkness and others are consumed by theirs.  

[Blimblam]

I have put a tremendous amount of myself into this understanding and I have come to a place where I have insight into this. The thing is it is incredibly complex and you have to see it for yourself. If I told you flat out you would think I am crazy most likely. I will say this things are not as they seem.  The answers are in your heart buried beneath the sands of time. Like quicksand to drag you under into the abyss to explore the darkness to find the light within. Feel everything in the nothingness as unpleasant as it may be.

[christoff522]

Wow, this is a big question. My best guess is they exist to test us, to push us. They're usually born (into BPD) through the work of Satan, abuse, trauma, hurt. So my guess would be that they're the devil's attempt to lead us astray. Most of all though, they're a great opportunity to love and forgive - they don't deserve it, and they won't ever truly accept it. So learn, grow accept and love.

[workinprogress]

So that leads me back to my original question, what is their purpose?  

Clearly you are not the first person to ponder this question... .

I've often thought that God asks us to find our own purpose and recognize our own sin and not judge others as its is he that judges the living and the dead.  Can we possibly know the purpose of a snowflake, or the Panda bear, or Katrina, or genocide or cancer - or is it really about us reaching for the strength to be good Christians in the face of life challenges.

We don't know the shame our ex-partners have been through - they may have face far greater challenges than we have ever known.  We may have been part of that.  How can we judge?

I've often thought that an all powerful God doesn't need to control everything or orchestrate every event in the universe - that maybe he controls very little and put his energy and faith in us to help us make it through.  That sending his son to live among us was to gain an understanding of the challenges that we all face so that he would know how to guide the faithful through dark times.

I'm watching a beloved slowly die of cancer these days.  I know that Jesus knows this pain far more than I and I can trust his guidance at a time like this.  

He knows how you suffered too and he can lead you to heal and go forward and have a purposeful life.

Great stuff! 

I have often wondered what the heck happened to my wife.  I will probably never know.

I feel bad for her.  I'm the one person who really cares about her with no strings attached.  I have heard her "best" friends over the years make fun of her, make sexual propositions to me, and totally disrespect my wife.

Most of the marriage I really backed her and supported her.  I was the one who was always shut off by her, though.

I have really put the light on myself and evaluated my actions during the marriage.  I could have done many things better, and I have told her as much.

[workinprogress]

As you said, there are many unseen things going on.  

"For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places."

[workinprogress]

This is from the book of Timothy:

1But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. 2For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, 4treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. 6For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, 7always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth.

[christoff522]

This is from the book of Timothy:

1But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. 2For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, 4treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. 6For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, 7always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth.

Yep describes narcissism pretty well.

This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.

For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,

I would say that it describes the 'quality' of society today pretty well. Couple this with Romans 1 and you have the modern day. I like how it says "lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts," Because thats often how Histrionic and BPD girls seem - silly. Whilst the BPD guys tend to be more traditionally aggressive and narcissistic. (I know this because I have had both a male friend who is BPD and a female enmesher who is BPD). God's word never lies.

[Skip]

I've always read this verse to be a challenge to us not to say that we are believers and then live the life of a disbeliever.  How may of us have done this.  It's a very humbling verse.

lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power.

[Heartsick77]

So thankful to see these thought provoking posts. I too have been pondering - although I trust and believe God is at work even if I can't understand it. Some things are just mystery and when we are fully enlightened all will be clear.

    Now we see but a poor reflection in the mirror; then we shall see face to face. now I know in part; then I shall know fully,even as I am fully known. I Corinthians 13:12

I find this comforting, and still ask and cry out'  " Dear God what are you asking of me?" It's a refining fire. Life is full of suffering and dealing with BPD/ NPD is an inferno at times. My husband ndBPD is a Christian... .I know he was drawn to me - the Pastoral Counselor to grow or to make himself look good/ego or as I've heard him say, "Therapist's have healthy kids... ." And he needed help with his kids. Did he love me? I'm thinking as much as he was capable of. The problem is he doesn't love himself. It really gets down to grace. I've given him soo much grace and the return is, more times than not,grief. We have to offer the same grace and forgiveness to ourselves that we have tried to offer them.

I like what Harri said about our dark sides. We all have them. To become whole we with Grace leading us bring our darkness into the light for transformation... .We must travel through a dark night of our souls to get there. I believe it it is by God's initiative - my personal experience.

Some do, some don't... .And that is the mystery. 

"So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who makes things grow." I Corinthians 3:7

[Hopeless777]

Great discussion. I'll just leave my signature below as my comment.

[workinprogress]

Great discussion. I'll just leave my signature below as my comment.

That's a beautiful statement.

It may not be possible to share our lives with BPD's and follow God.  BPD's expect to be #1.  They are jealous of anything having more importance than them. 

[ForeverDad]

I am reminded of a point I heard some time ago, that the Bible was not written to be a Science book but that when it touched on scientific matters, it was, in general terms, rather accurate.

Genesis 1 - The account of the creative days is in general agreement with the order the scientists say life (plants and animals) developed on the earth.

Job 26:7 - "He stretches out the northern sky over empty space, Suspending the earth upon nothing" - this clear observation is in contrast to the myths and stories of, for example, a giant turtle and giant elephant supporting the earth.

So why did I make that point above?  That what many think of God's Purpose may not be what He sees as His Purpose.  His purpose was simply stated in Genesis, for the earth to be filled with perfect and well behaved offspring.  No specific time frame was given, but it seems evident that it was to occur during the 7th creative day, a day or period of unspecified length.  Well, he was not one to be sabotaged by traitorous Satan (chapter 3*), he made the prophecy that in time he and those with him would be vanquished by the Seed.  More information was revealed over the centuries and that person was the Messiah or Christ.  He would rule through God's Kingdom and restore mankind to perfection (by replacing failed Adam as mankind's adoptive father) and make the earth a paradise as it was intended.

* Satan didn't challenge God's power, rather he challenged God's sovereignty or right to guide men.  Clearly this was the first instance of rebellion and so God has allowed time to for the issue to be settled.

Clearly, God has a purpose or End Goal but the details - how we all get there - were left a bit vague down through history.  But it is clear that those on earth here who are ill, whether physically or mentally, were not intended to be so and not by God's actions, it was a consequence of man's imperfections and accumulating issues.

When I lived in Brooklyn NYC I recall when boys wandered after hours through Prospect Park Zoo and one was mauled to death by a bear, I think it was the incident on 19 May 1987.  It was a terrible tragedy.  I recall a newspaper reporting that when a clergyman said God wanted the boy in heaven that one of the family friends disagreed, saying God would not do that to a child, that is was just an accident.

My point is similar, people with BPD, NPD, whatever PD or some other mental affliction are ill, we're all imperfect, life happens, some of us have physical issues, mental issues, or a combination.  It's not God doing this to people.  When under trial, let no one say: “I am being tried by God.” For with evil things God cannot be tried, nor does he himself try anyone. - James 1:13

Reading a Purpose into why people suffer can get us into speculations that can divert us from keeping things relatively simple and logical.  Yes, we can learn from our adversities, hopefully if we have had pwBPD, etc in our lives, we've learned skills and qualities despite our suffering.  But we can't put words in God's mouth, that he is causing it.

So I don't believe God did this to pwBPD for us to learn.  No, I view all of us as imperfect people who have varying levels of dysfunction, sometimes influenced negatively by abusers, enabled by living in a world of hard knocks, some choosing to make something good of their lot in life, some choosing to continue to behave poorly and and some who initially behave poorly but choose to change and work on their issues.

My ex is, I suspect, co-morbid with Borderline and Paranoid.  Much of it due to a poor childhood.  But as an adult she needs to take responsibility for her choices and actions and sometimes even face consequences.  I can't change her, if I could have I wouldn't be divorced.  I've seen a phrase here, Let Go and Let God.  That's what I've done, I handle what I can with my own life and responsibilities and have left the matter about her in God's hands.

By seeing things this way I can have hope that some day things really will be better, that "the meek will inherit the earth".  I don't know how much of this resonates with you, I leave that for you to contemplate, but I see this as a reasonable perspective.

[Hopeless777]

Great discussion. I'll just leave my signature below as my comment.

That's a beautiful statement.

It may not be possible to share our lives with BPD's and follow God.  BPD's expect to be #1.  They are jealous of anything having more importance than them. 

Yes you are so correct WorkInProgress. If I made any error it was putting my relationship with her before my relationship with God. 40 years in the wilderness is a long time before you come home.

[Mutt]

I am reminded of a point I heard some time ago, that the Bible was not written to be a Science book but that when it touched on scientific matters, it was, in general terms, rather accurate.

Genesis 1 - The account of the creative days is in general agreement with the order the scientists say life (plants and animals) developed on the earth.

Job 26:7 - "He stretches out the northern sky over empty space, Suspending the earth upon nothing" - this clear observation is in contrast to the myths and stories of, for example, a giant turtle and giant elephant supporting the earth.

So why did I make that point above?  That what many think of God's Purpose may not be what He sees as His Purpose.  His purpose was simply stated in Genesis, for the earth to be filled with perfect and well behaved offspring.  No specific time frame was given, but it seems evident that it was to occur during the 7th creative day, a day or period of unspecified length.  Well, he was not one to be sabotaged by traitorous Satan (chapter 3*), he made the prophecy that in time he and those with him would be vanquished by the Seed.  More information was revealed over the centuries and that person was the Messiah or Christ.  He would rule through God's Kingdom and restore mankind to perfection (by replacing failed Adam as mankind's adoptive father) and make the earth a paradise as it was intended.

* Satan didn't challenge God's power, rather he challenged God's sovereignty or right to guide men.  Clearly this was the first instance of rebellion and so God has allowed time to for the issue to be settled.

Clearly, God has a purpose or End Goal but the details - how we all get there - were left a bit vague down through history.  But it is clear that those on earth here who are ill, whether physically or mentally, were not intended to be so and not by God's actions, it was a consequence of man's imperfections and accumulating issues.

When I lived in Brooklyn NYC I recall when boys wandered after hours through Prospect Park Zoo and one was mauled to death by a bear, I think it was the incident on 19 May 1987.  It was a terrible tragedy.  I recall a newspaper reporting that when a clergyman said God wanted the boy in heaven that one of the family friends disagreed, saying God would not do that to a child, that is was just an accident.

My point is similar, people with BPD, NPD, whatever PD or some other mental affliction are ill, we're all imperfect, life happens, some of us have physical issues, mental issues, or a combination.  It's not God doing this to people.  When under trial, let no one say: “I am being tried by God.” For with evil things God cannot be tried, nor does he himself try anyone. - James 1:13

Reading a Purpose into why people suffer can get us into speculations that can divert us from keeping things relatively simple and logical.  Yes, we can learn from our adversities, hopefully if we have had pwBPD, etc in our lives, we've learned skills and qualities despite our suffering.  But we can't put words in God's mouth, that he is causing it.

So I don't believe God did this to pwBPD for us to learn.  No, I view all of us as imperfect people who have varying levels of dysfunction, sometimes influenced negatively by abusers, enabled by living in a world of hard knocks, some choosing to make something good of their lot in life, some choosing to continue to behave poorly and and some who initially behave poorly but choose to change and work on their issues.

My ex is, I suspect, co-morbid with Borderline and Paranoid.  Much of it due to a poor childhood.  But as an adult she needs to take responsibility for her choices and actions and sometimes even face consequences.  I can't change her, if I could have I wouldn't be divorced.  I've seen a phrase here, Let Go and Let God.  That's what I've done, I handle what I can with my own life and responsibilities and have left the matter about her in God's hands.

By seeing things this way I can have hope that some day things really will be better, that "the meek will inherit the earth".  I don't know how much of this resonates with you, I leave that for you to contemplate, but I see this as a reasonable perspective.

Thank you for sharing ForeverDad. I was really struggling for an answer. I needed this.

[Blimblam]

Remember Mary magdaline, the woman who contained evil spirits?  Now the detached protector, punitive parent, and the angry child from schemas therapy?   These are seperate energies that exist within the borderline personality.  Then the abandoned child within them so innocent and pure.  Those energies within the borderline form an internal karpman triangle. And we as an external object of love like a toy that those three energies fight over.  We are then dragged down under also and confront these energies within ourself and it is through this we gain insight into those energies. The punitive parent and the angry child torment the abandoned child within her.

Remember Jesus saved Mary from the angry child and the punitive parent. Those are the deceivers within her and they deceive us into hurting the abandoned child also by those energies hurting us. 

These energies exist within each of us.  The abandoned child activates in many the endless unconditional love and the deceiver decieves the abandoned child.  The thing is we associate the endless love as an object which is the borderline.  And when the deceiver takes away the abandoned child we are decieved as well and hurt then we know the abandoned child's pain. This allows us to becomes aware of the decieved and all the pain within ourselves the deciever has used to hide from our own light within. So we must feel all that suffering to find that light that we had been seeking our entire lives. The endless unconditional love and compassion.

For whatever reason the role of Mary magdaline has been pushed to the side within Christianity.  But Mary magdaline is the counterpart to mother Mary and the Abandoned child shows us the love of the mother. The love of Mary the mother.  Which gives birth in us unconditional love the love of god. Then the deciever arrives to take away that light and deceive us.

[Lion Fire]

Thank you for this topic.

The purpose of the experience i had with  my ex was certainly to wake me up so that I could face my defects, ancient wounds and negative patterns. I was forced to change because of the terrible pain I was in. With this, I have been humbled and grown through the pain to a point where today I stand in my own power more than ever before.

As for God's purpose for her, I am not sure and tbh I don't think it's my business. In fact, this was a huge part of the toxic dynamic we had. I was taking care of her in many ways for too long, caught up and enmeshed in her complex path. In fairness, she is a searching soul and has tried more spiritual paths than anyone I know. Deep down in her there is a soul that wants peace and love. From my angle, the darkness in her always overtakes the light and that must be a dreadful way to live. The problem is that her darkness engulfed and hurt me deeply and I had to extract myself from this permanently. I had to walk away, stay away and leave her to find her way without me.It's up to her and her higher power now.

[Perez]

Thank you for the topic and all the great posts.  From my faith tradition, one of goals of marriage is to help each other progress towards holiness.  Certainly, marrying someone with BPD gives us plenty of opportunities to practice forbearance, forgiveness, and self-sacrifice, and self control.  So in that respect, my 25 years of marriage have been a good teaching tool, too good I should think.

The challenge is that once you see BPD for what it is, you necessarily need to detach.  Whether you detach via divorce or stay married with new boundaries, the detachment needs to happen without bitterness or resentment.  That is hard for me to do and I look on our Lord for strength in this area.

One other thought I often have is that God is using to break this cycle from generation to generation.  I can see now the family dysfunction in my wife's grandparents and her parent's families.  I pray that God lights my path to raise my kids so that they will have healthy relationships.

[antjs]

I don't know about any universally guided purposes for my ex, but I know that for me, she had the purpose of waking me up. She did me a big favor.

Amen to that

[whatathing]

Great topic. I´ve been confused about this, because in the beginning of the r/s I really thought we met because God brought us together. I thought I could read signs that led me about God´s Will, but then it was all different, as you know. My best guess, is that this was a great opportunity for growth, like Fluff said. I came in contact with the basic forces that were driving me unconsciously, and that´s a big grace this r/s has given me.

We don´t grow only by sweet and abundant experiences, we also grow by experiencing the "desert", being face to face with the apparently harsh emptiness and meaningless there seems to be in life, in death, in suffering, in being deprived of what we need. And by faith, and by silencing our hearts and listening without trying to get answers immediately, we learn to let us be in the hands of God, to listen to our faith. Saint Teresa of Avila said that "by night we will search for the living water fountain. Only our thirst will guide us". By night. Somehow, searching by night is something we need to do to grow spiritually. By night, means not knowing the answers, not seeing the meaning. Only our thirst makes us through.

We need to need God, in order to find Him. And so many of us put our hopes in our efforts and in our understanding. To me, this r/s showed how far I was of being a good disciple, of letting God show me the way and put Him first in my life. I lost the correct order of the importance I give to things. I idolized this r/s, I felt that what saved me and what I needed, was her, not God. So I fell down, and hard. That was another great lesson I learned.

It´s still a mistery to me, why this turned out like this. But, reading the Bible, the most common thing I see in all narratives, is that things never turn out like people think they will. God´s path in our lives is always different than the paths we project as limited beings who only see some inches far. God´s path has to do with universality, with going throug millions of variables that interact with the small story of our lives. We really don´t see far, and we need to welcome the mistery. And to invite God to guide our lives, totally. Put Him first. I´m sure if any of us does that, we will go in the right direction, towards the land of milk and honey, which is God´s Will for us. But maybe it won´t be in the form of a gorgeous and familiar girl who activates my most deep desires and fears (exBPDfg). I have to give God the right to decide how my "land of milk and honey" will be, because it surely will be much better than this r/s was. It´s all about trust and faith.

As for her, I too don´t think that she served a purpose for me, I think that God´s working on her life for her benefit, she wasn´t born to have some function in my life. And I regard her as a victim. Some people have diseases, some people are poor, some people are exploited in 3rd world countries. All of that are sad and serious consequences of sin. Because the Word of God isn´t spread all around our Earth, there are various forms of suffering. And her, she just had her form of suffering which is a consequence of the sin of all human kind. She´s BPD because love, faith, and hope weren´t around as she was growing up. There´s no demons inside her, she´s just a victim of sin´s consequences.

As for me, coming across her was also the way that I´ve met sin and its consequences. I´d never felt the shape and the power of sin and it´s consequences as I felt by meeting her. And what I know now more than ever, is that I hate sin, and I want to do my best for the Kingdom of God to come, for salvation to every human being, so that this suffering will be converted, transformed, to the endless joy of living like God wanted us to live in the first place.

Sorry for the long post... .

[Hopeless777]

Don't be sorry for the long post whatathing. I, too, have come to the same conclusion. There are so many great promises in God's word. But the ironic thing is that so many believer's lives never turned out the way they planned or hoped. I used to hate that "Let Go Let God" bumper sticker... .now it's engrained in my soul. I just hope I make it through the sheer agony of an unwanted divorce.

[workinprogress]

Whatathing, your post was very insightful! 

[AwakenedOne]

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

According to the most quoted Christian verse people who have BPD have the same purpose that everyone else does. Those who have BPD developed it mostly in the early years due to abuse and other tragic factors. God didn't give them the BPD. BPD is a horrible disorder. Horrible for the ones who suffer with it and also who been partners with in a relationship. I believe that Gods plan is for all people to do something with what we have and not make excuses and not expect free passes either. What we lack we should ask God for help and strength to overcome to beat the disorder or whatever obstacle we need help with.