Emotional prostitutes

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Actually, Borderlines and Sociopaths can share many of the same behaviors. And don't say you wouldn't bond with a Sociopath . They can make a Borderline scream for forgiveness. They are the true evil. What you have to understand is it's the Cluster B disorder, they can overlap. My exBPD has Sociopathic traits, she is impulsive in different ways than other Borderlines. And Sociopaths can turn if abused enough in early years.

I have known full blown sociopaths and I do not sense any authentic good in them.  Just superficial charm.  I do not fall for any narc traits or histrionic either all of this disgusts me or I may find momentarily entertaining.

The borderline I can sense Something authentic within them and I have seen it.  The sociopath is not authentic. I can typically spot a psychopath fairly quickly.

Anyways all of this is on a continuim and spectrum.  Everyone's ex was different. 

My ex was the sweetest kindest girl I ever met so giving. Underneath it all just a child.  She is just too succeptible to peer pressure. And when te switch flipped I saw a sociopath it was disturbing and painfull beyond belief.

Their personalities are carpmentalized. This is part of what

Makes it so confusing.

[Blimblam]

Actually, Borderlines and Sociopaths can share many of the same behaviors. And don't say you wouldn't bond with a Sociopath . They can make a Borderline scream for forgiveness. They are the true evil. What you have to understand is it's the Cluster B disorder, they can overlap. My exBPD has Sociopathic traits, she is impulsive in different ways than other Borderlines. And Sociopaths can turn if abused enough in early years.

I have known full blown sociopaths and I do not sense any authentic good in them.  Just superficial charm.  I do not fall for any narc traits or histrionic either all of this disgusts me or I may find momentarily entertaining.

The borderline I can sense Something authentic within them and I have seen it.  The sociopath is not authentic. I can typically spot a psychopath fairly quickly.

Anyways all of this is on a continuim and spectrum.  Everyone's ex was different. 

My ex was the sweetest kindest girl I ever met so giving. Underneath it all just a child.  She is just too succeptible to peer pressure. And when te switch flipped I saw a sociopath it was disturbing and painfull beyond belief.

Their personalities are carpmentalized. This is part of what

Makes it so confusing.

[goldylamont]

I have known full blown sociopaths and I do not sense any authentic good in them.  Just superficial charm.  I do not fall for any narc traits or histrionic either all of this disgusts me or I may find momentarily entertaining.

The borderline I can sense Something authentic within them and I have seen it.  The sociopath is not authentic. I can typically spot a psychopath fairly quickly.

Anyways all of this is on a continuim and spectrum.  Everyone's ex was different. 

My ex was the sweetest kindest girl I ever met so giving. Underneath it all just a child.  She is just too succeptible to peer pressure. And when te switch flipped I saw a sociopath it was disturbing and painfull beyond belief.

Their personalities are carpmentalized. This is part of what

Makes it so confusing.

right. and this is what's hardest to explain to someone. my ex wasn't a simple psychopath in that she was always cold, always plotting, with no empathy. it was contextual. she had empathy, and when she didn't i think that she tried. but once she disliked someone that's when all the bad stuff came out--lying, manipulations and abuse. no different i would think than a sociopath/narcissist. it was all there, just compartmentalized as Blimblam states. it's confusing but at the end of the day there was a little bit of everything mixed in her psyche.

[Blimblam]

I have known full blown sociopaths and I do not sense any authentic good in them.  Just superficial charm.  I do not fall for any narc traits or histrionic either all of this disgusts me or I may find momentarily entertaining.

The borderline I can sense Something authentic within them and I have seen it.  The sociopath is not authentic. I can typically spot a psychopath fairly quickly.

Anyways all of this is on a continuim and spectrum.  Everyone's ex was different. 

My ex was the sweetest kindest girl I ever met so giving. Underneath it all just a child.  She is just too succeptible to peer pressure. And when te switch flipped I saw a sociopath it was disturbing and painfull beyond belief.

Their personalities are carpmentalized. This is part of whath

Makes it so confusing.

right. and this is what's hardest to explain to someone. my ex wasn't a simple psychopath in that she was always cold, always plotting, with no empathy. it was contextual. she had empathy, and when she didn't i think that she tried. but once she disliked someone that's when all the bad stuff came out--lying, manipulations and abuse. no different i would think than a sociopath/narcissist. it was all there, just compartmentalized as Blimblam states. it's confusing but at the end of the day there was a little bit of everything mixed in her psyche.

Yes it is everything to the extreme under one roof.  I think the one ring in lord of the rings is a metaphor for the borderline. In fact I think The Lord of the rings trilogy is a metaphor about what the borderline is and what happens when one comes into your life.

[freedom33]

I think the one ring in lord of the rings is a metaphor for the borderline. In fact I think The Lord of the rings trilogy is a metaphor about what the borderline is and what happens when one comes into your life.

Interesting. Can you elaborate?

[Blimblam]

I think the one ring in lord of the rings is a metaphor for the borderline. In fact I think The Lord of the rings trilogy is a metaphor about what the borderline is and what happens when one comes into your life.

Interesting. Can you elaborate?

If you watch The Lord of the rings you will be able to identify with bilbo finding the ring like when you first met your ex.  Then with smeagal and froto as times goes on in the relationship and after it ends where you are now.

There is a reason for this and I could probably write a book on comparative religions and fairie tales to explain it.  The thing is even if I told you and you understood it intellectually you wouldn't know it.

Here's. Hint our ex projected the prince onto us and we identified with it. We projected the princess onto her. Carl Jung describes this princess projection as the anima. The anima is important in the jungian view of alchemy and the process of individuation. 

If you stay with the pain and process it focus on the somatic sensations of it. Surrender to the anima and just feel it let the process happen. You will undergo the alchemical transformation. There's is nothing to study just feel your pain.

Eventually you will know.

There is a message and it's everywhere. For those who have eyes that see and ears that hear.

"This is your pain. This is your burning hand it's right here" - Tyler durden

[bunnysc]

Thanks to this ''Topic'' I keep moving forward, somedays are harder than others. God this feeling of our ''EX BPD's is like going up a hill full of oil

How come they not really FEEL  themselves like a ''Prostitute'' I don't get it, on our last meet up like 2 months ago I asked her that WTH is going on with you, I even asked her if she was going to bed with this other guy ''The replacement'' and she was like ''Yes'' and stayed quiet. Just after 1 week of braking up with me. WOW... .(Yes I know I was stupid trying to keep the relationship with her, I should't have asked that or even met her)

And now 2 months later of NC she sends me a text asking me how I was and asking me how the dog we rescued is doing? Cause off course I am the one taking her of the dog now and she is hanging out Fu&^&ing guys around living a miserable empty crappy life.       

[fromheeltoheal]

Thanks to this ''Topic'' I keep moving forward, somedays are harder than others. God this feeling of our ''EX BPD's is like going up a hill full of oil

How come they not really FEEL  themselves like a ''Prostitute'' I don't get it, on our last meet up like 2 months ago I asked her that WTH is going on with you, I even asked her if she was going to bed with this other guy ''The replacement'' and she was like ''Yes'' and stayed quiet. Just after 1 week of braking up with me. WOW... .(Yes I know I was stupid trying to keep the relationship with her, I should't have asked that or even met her)

And now 2 months later of NC she sends me a text asking me how I was and asking me how the dog we rescued is doing? Cause off course I am the one taking her of the dog now and she is hanging out Fu&^&ing guys around living a miserable empty crappy life.       

You're trying to apply rational thinking assuming she's doing the same; if she has a mental illness she doesn't think rationally, in fact she doesn't think, she feels, everything intensely.  As relationships progress, and a partner wants and tries to get closer emotionally, a borderline will feel engulfed and push you away, and as you react to that by distancing from her yourself, it will be interpreted as abandonment, motivating a borderline to seek an attachment elsewhere.  Borderline personality disorder is about the need to feel good, by using another human being, and one way of looking at it is she is using someone else to manage the feelings of shame and the feelings of abandonment she felt in the relationship with you, and if the relationship progresses enough with the new guy, she'll repeat the behavior with someone else; it's about need, not love.

All of that can be called emotional prostitution if that term works for you, but the main thing is what are you going to do about you now?

[bunnysc]

You're trying to apply rational thinking assuming she's doing the same; if she has a mental illness she doesn't think rationally, in fact she doesn't think, she feels, everything intensely.  As relationships progress, and a partner wants and tries to get closer emotionally, a borderline will feel engulfed and push you away, and as you react to that by distancing from her yourself, it will be interpreted as abandonment, motivating a borderline to seek an attachment elsewhere.  Borderline personality disorder is about the need to feel good, by using another human being, and one way of looking at it is she is using someone else to manage the feelings of shame and the feelings of abandonment she felt in the relationship with you, and if the relationship progresses enough with the new guy, she'll repeat the behavior with someone else; it's about need, not love.

All of that can be called emotional prostitution if that term works for you, but the main thing is what are you going to do about you now?

Thank you so much! Makes me feel better. I am doing better taking 1 day at a time doing my best, I stayed NC and did't reply to her messages but I felt like a slap in the face and a lot of the past emotions, feelings woke up with the contact she made by texting... .I am strong and will keep going thanks!