Could someone please answer my question?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

My Ex BPD dumped me over the phone, she then pushed and pulled me for 2 weeks after, saying things like i love you, my children miss you, and even making me meet up with her to return belongings, which resulted in a hickey on my neck and a lot of kissing and groping, she cried and cried when i had to go home that day.  On the final week, she kept texting me, ignoring me, then ringing to see if i was seeing somebody else (really panicking).  I had finally had enough of her mind games, so i rang her up and said im done ok, i cant take this any more, but i want us to be mature and be friends, she then said ok.  2 days later shes in a relationship with her replacement.  She then blocked me from everything apart from email, she was like if you want to contact me you can use Gmail (Control)

She then remembered she still had some of my stuff so I arranged to see her in person to get my belongings, she was still playing the push/ pull mind games, started of being nice saying how are you, hows the family? hope your all ok, then started being mean saying things like lifes not looking to good for you right now is it? with a big smile on her face, the whole time she was saying this i was laughing, and took it as a pinch of salt, she then says btw Holly (her 3 year old daughter) was asking for you the other day, she knows how close i was with her! she then says me and the kids were looking at old pictures of us together the other day (she has a bf) then goes on to say i still go on your FB i know what your up to (Shes blocked me on FB).  Then after all of this says, well you have your stuff back now so theres no reason for you to ever contact me again, im bored of talking to you now bye. The whole time she was saying this she was smiling at me just like she would during the relationship.  I smiled back and said take care bye.

My question is, do you think she blocked me because she hates me, and wants to me out of her life for good. or do you think she has reached in difference towards me? 

If she was indifferent towards me she wouldnt have put so much effort into blocking me would she? like if your indifferent you really dont care in the absolute slightness, so blocking wouldnt have even crossed her mind.  I never tried to contact her either so this is nothing to do with nagging or pleading.  If it is hate, at least it shows that she cares enough to warrant that emotion, has anybody else been blocked by a BPD, i would really appreciate your opinions,

thank you! 

[jammo1989]

My Ex BPD dumped me over the phone, she then pushed and pulled me for 2 weeks after, saying things like i love you, my children miss you, and even making me meet up with her to return belongings, which resulted in a hickey on my neck and a lot of kissing and groping, she cried and cried when i had to go home that day.  On the final week, she kept texting me, ignoring me, then ringing to see if i was seeing somebody else (really panicking).  I had finally had enough of her mind games, so i rang her up and said im done ok, i cant take this any more, but i want us to be mature and be friends, she then said ok.  2 days later shes in a relationship with her replacement.  She then blocked me from everything apart from email, she was like if you want to contact me you can use Gmail (Control)

She then remembered she still had some of my stuff so I arranged to see her in person to get my belongings, she was still playing the push/ pull mind games, started of being nice saying how are you, hows the family? hope your all ok, then started being mean saying things like lifes not looking to good for you right now is it? with a big smile on her face, the whole time she was saying this i was laughing, and took it as a pinch of salt, she then says btw Holly (her 3 year old daughter) was asking for you the other day, she knows how close i was with her! she then says me and the kids were looking at old pictures of us together the other day (she has a bf) then goes on to say i still go on your FB i know what your up to (Shes blocked me on FB).  Then after all of this says, well you have your stuff back now so theres no reason for you to ever contact me again, im bored of talking to you now bye. The whole time she was saying this she was smiling at me just like she would during the relationship.  I smiled back and said take care bye.

My question is, do you think she blocked me because she hates me, and wants to me out of her life for good. or do you think she has reached in difference towards me? 

If she was indifferent towards me she wouldnt have put so much effort into blocking me would she? like if your indifferent you really dont care in the absolute slightness, so blocking wouldnt have even crossed her mind.  I never tried to contact her either so this is nothing to do with nagging or pleading.  If it is hate, at least it shows that she cares enough to warrant that emotion, has anybody else been blocked by a BPD, i would really appreciate your opinions,

thank you! 

[NorthLight]

My guess: Bpd need to be in control. She has blocked you, and you cant do anything back so she has won the "battle" of who ended things (in her head)

Stay strong

[jammo1989]

Thank you for your input Northlight!

[drummerboy]

If someone has truly let go they get to a point of being indifferent, of not caring a fig about you. Blocking means that even if she has painted you black, you are still on her mind. And yes, it's a control thing. She is busy creating her next ill fated fantasy but you are very much still on her mind.

[jammo1989]

Bauie, you just put the biggest smile on my face, it means a lot, I feel just like everyone else on this board, I dont want to re kindle, but I want to know whether or not she ever cared enough to warrant blocking me, Im the only ex shes ever blocked, so I must have met something, thank you for your reply, it means a lot ,my friend!

[fred6]

It's control, but I have a feeling that some of these people like inflicting emotional pain, just because they can.

[hurting300]

It's always about control. Always.

[jammo1989]

Is there need for control anything to do with their emotions?, as in if WE had the last say she would feel abandoned and in turn she would feel severely depressed, in a way re living past trauma? and would you guys agree that blocking is not her meeting indifference towards me? as in do you still think i play on her mind, even with her new bf of 2 months?   

[fred6]

Is there need for control anything to do with their emotions?, as in if WE had the last say she would feel abandoned and in turn she would feel severely depressed, in a way re living past trauma? and would you guys agree that blocking is not her meeting indifference towards me? as in do you still think i play on her mind, even with her new bf of 2 months?   

In my situation I think that she just kind of moved on in her mind. Does she still think of me sometimes? I think so. Or at least I'd like to think so. But in the end, if they're so emotionally undercooked that they don't have the empathy to understand or realize the pain and hurt that they cause in their wake. Then it's a moot point, even though it hurts us so bad. I know personally that it's a $hitty deal on our end. But that's the deal we were dealt and that's the what we are going to have to deal with on our own, because they aren't going to help us.

[Deeno02]

I struck first. I deleted and blocked everything i could. I dont need to see or hear a damn thing shes doing with the replacement.  Im traumatized enough that it burns my soul everyday for the past 4 weeks. At times i think im going to have a nervous breakdown.

[hurting300]

I struck first. I deleted and blocked everything i could. I dont need to see or hear a damn thing shes doing with the replacement.  Im traumatized enough that it burns my soul everyday for the past 4 weeks. At times i think im going to have a nervous breakdown.

get even man. Just get even.

[Blimblam]

It's always about control. Always.

This

[hurting300]

Is always about control and winning. My eyes took our baby and didn't even say anything and still hasn't! Six months later man. But she loves passin by my house . And all the fake Facebook pages. Geez these people.

[jammo1989]

I struck first. I deleted and blocked everything i could. I dont need to see or hear a damn thing shes doing with the replacement.  Im traumatized enough that it burns my soul everyday for the past 4 weeks. At times i think im going to have a nervous breakdown.

Youve won this battle, you managed to block and her delete her first, a lot of others get blocked 1st AKA me, that just shows how strong you are mentally,  you should read my philosophy on how to get over your ex topic on the message boards that will help you ALOT! Remember these people are impulsive, not only do they not understand, but they are also children.  This is how i think of being blocked by my BPD, hope this helps guys. 

She wants a new toy, in the real world a pandora charm, but in this fantasy scenario a new baby toy (shes a child remember) YOUR the parent, you say no you cant have it, remember they cant handle their emotions.  A mature child would say, ok thats fine, maybe another time then?  In her case she cries, slams the bedroom door (blocking you,keeping you out) BUT that child will sometimes but her ear to the door to see if mummy or daddy will return (charming) but right now shes behind that door having a temper tantrum because she feels that her parents (us) wouldn't give into her.