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BPDFamily.com
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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
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Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
Length of the relationship
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Topic: Length of the relationship (Read 408 times)
Bak86
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 351
Length of the relationship
«
on:
October 10, 2014, 11:12:35 AM »
My ex had two relationships before me, one relationship lasted 1 year and the other 4 years. My relationship only lasted 4/5 months with her. Does the length of the relationship have anything to do with how strong of a personality the other party is? Because my relationship ended this fast compared to the others, does this mean I'm a stronger person that figured her BPD traits out before the others did? I did fight back quite a lot during the relationship and didn't usually accept her childish behavior.
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Zpinal
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 34
Re: Length of the relationship
«
Reply #1 on:
October 10, 2014, 11:59:57 AM »
I am wondering the same thing, in the beginning I have set limits, made clear that i do not mix love with money(business), told her that there will be no moving in with me before a year. She told me she was Bipolar and Borderline added to hyper anxiety and ADD. At first I read a lot about bipolar, she was stable and well medicated, I've read a brochure about BPD and it was pretty much copy paste from bipolar so I originally thought it was part of the bipolar sanctum, how wrong was I, no freaking pills will help with BPD.
Some of her r/s were weeks, others were a year or more, mine lasted 4 months. We are both in our late 30s, did she sense that my life wasn't stopping for her? did she sense than sooner or later I would find out about her lies? Like when she said she was overqualified for CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), that her pdoc sent her to a psychologist to be evaluated... .which was another lie because the Pdoc had already evaluated her and determined the course of action. She simply refused treatment. All them questions on how come we didnt last long. Was I just too smart or am I just a bigger loser than my replacement?
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merlin4926
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 159
Re: Length of the relationship
«
Reply #2 on:
October 10, 2014, 12:05:57 PM »
We had a good friendship for over five years but I was a strong person and didn't need anything from him emotionally. When we started a relationship that changed and was the beginning of the end. We were together for about a year romantically. He also got very possessive and hated me being away from him even to go to work etc.
I think ultimately he knew he couldn't control me and I had started to see through him and tackle him more and more. He is now with someone very submissive I think she will be easier to manipulate so he will get bored quicker but she is also more likely to put up with a lot more abuse than I was so she may last longer? Not sure if this has answered the question
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Infern0
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1520
Re: Length of the relationship
«
Reply #3 on:
October 10, 2014, 02:23:20 PM »
6 month RS after about 4 months of friends.
Mine was a low functioning waif so 6 months is actually about the full routine for her.
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NorthLight
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 118
Re: Length of the relationship
«
Reply #4 on:
October 10, 2014, 03:38:05 PM »
Well they are pretty unstable, and are often very impulsive. So i think some times its random, like if they found someone else - then splits you black -> they dump you and go to next, while if they have a period they split you black but don't have a new victim, they keep the RS.
My RS lasted almost two years, but i am pretty sure that after a fight 2 months into the rs, she was very close to dumping me, and would had if she had a new victim ready.
(she splitted me black because i couldn't walk her to the bus stop before i had taken a shower, because i just came home from workout, so she said I'm not taking good enough care of her and she wants to move out, then ST me a long time, but came back like nothing had happened - ) Had she found another guy, she would left me, i think, after reading so much about BPD, and actually being dumped on such a happy period in the rs.
they are unstable guys.
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Deeno02
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1526
Re: Length of the relationship
«
Reply #5 on:
October 10, 2014, 04:22:47 PM »
Don't think mine will ever attempt it. I was the rebound dude from her separation/divorce and a host of other things I got her through in our year and a half. I think she made it clear she had no love for me anymore.
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Bak86
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 351
Re: Length of the relationship
«
Reply #6 on:
October 10, 2014, 05:51:15 PM »
Quote from: merlin4926 on October 10, 2014, 12:05:57 PM
We had a good friendship for over five years but I was a strong person and didn't need anything from him emotionally. When we started a relationship that changed and was the beginning of the end. We were together for about a year romantically. He also got very possessive and hated me being away from him even to go to work etc.
I think ultimately he knew he couldn't control me and I had started to see through him and tackle him more and more. He is now with someone very submissive I think she will be easier to manipulate so he will get bored quicker but she is also more likely to put up with a lot more abuse than I was so she may last longer? Not sure if this has answered the question
I;m actually not sure if they like the submissive boyfriend types. Not enough drama for them
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