What do I do ?

[JS0811]

Hello everyone,

  Its been a while since I posted on here. I wish I never stopped posting and reading... .but here I am. Me and my BPD boyfriend are currently together, after the last time he broke up with me for the 3rd time he wanted to get back together, and now we share an apartment together. Things were great at first as usual, but now a few months in and we are back to that all too familiar rocky road. I really want things to work between us, I have read a few books and have tried to apply what I have learned and it really has helped me. Sadly, my boyfriend for the most part has laughed the books off and calls them "silly". Recently he has agreed to go to see a therapist with me if i make the appointment. However the one referred to us was not accepting new patients so now Im back at square 1 trying to find a new therapist.

So that brings me here, the past few days my BPD boyfriend has turned and acts as if he cant stand me. He picks me apart for every little thing I do wrong, and told me today he doesnt even like talking to me anymore. Meanwhile 2 days ago he told me he loved me so much and appreciates me. Today I find myself feeling very confused and depressed about it all, I have been so strong lately and have tried to learn to cope with his sometimes confusing behavior... .but today I am just feeling hopeless.

  If any of you have advice on what Steps I should take now to improve my relationship, I would greatly appreciate it.

 

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Rockylove]

The best advise I can offer is to work on you.  BPD is such a draining, sad and distressing mental illness and there's no way to make someone go to therapy and actually gain something from it unless they are really wanting it. 

I know my situation is mild comparatively (some stories I've heard here make me want to jump through the computer and save people... .maybe it's good that I can't!   

The only thing I've been able to do is change the way I react to his rantings.  I'm me and he either accepts it or he can kiss my butt.  I've no reason to think he will change.  I don't care if he does.  I stay because the good times far outweigh the bad.  I hope you have enough "self" to go to therapy on your own and see where that takes you.  Wishing you happy days ahead!