They want someone to fight with

[kc sunshine]

That's my latest thought about my BPD ex: she wants someone to fight with. Do I want that someone to be me? Nope.

[fromheeltoheal]

It she does have this disorder, she wants closeness and intimacy just like all of us, only problem is that closeness and intimacy triggers her disorder, and then the fight shows up.  You can't get what you really want from her, and she can't get it either, from anyone sustainably; that's the difference between ordered and disordered.

[kc sunshine]

Yeah, fromheeltoheal, that's a good point. My post was too harsh. Heartbreaking for all involved, really. Thanks for the humanity/lovingkindness of your post. I'll get there again... .

[fromheeltoheal]

Yeah, fromheeltoheal, that's a good point. My post was too harsh. Heartbreaking for all involved, really. Thanks for the humanity/lovingkindness of your post. I'll get there again... .

No Worries, harsh is a standard response when we're in pain, been there, just don't make yourself wrong for it, just feel it all the way and it will eventually pass, while we just provide reminders.  Take care of you!

[lm911]

It she does have this disorder, she wants closeness and intimacy just like all of us, only problem is that closeness and intimacy triggers her disorder, and then the fight shows up.  You can't get what you really want from her, and she can't get it either, from anyone sustainably; that's the difference between ordered and disordered.

That is right. She does not want to fight, the intimacy triggers her and by fighting she sabotages the relationship and pushesh you away.

[peiper]

Its amazing how these people can be do hurtful and destructive.