did anyone here get put through text message torture

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

When we first got together,  and even before we did we were in constant communication via text or Facebook message. I'm talking 100s of messages every day.

One of the worst things about the relationship was when I got devalued and suddenly the phone went silent.  It was horrible,  just checking my phone all the time and then if it went off and thinking it was her but then it was someone else ... .

The worst part is that on facebook messenger you can see if they are online and also if they have seen your message. So you know they saw it and you know they are online but are choosing not to reply.  When before they would reply to every message instantly.

It's like they get you addicted to checking your phone and then suddenly nothing.

Horrible.

[Infern0]

When we first got together,  and even before we did we were in constant communication via text or Facebook message. I'm talking 100s of messages every day.

One of the worst things about the relationship was when I got devalued and suddenly the phone went silent.  It was horrible,  just checking my phone all the time and then if it went off and thinking it was her but then it was someone else ... .

The worst part is that on facebook messenger you can see if they are online and also if they have seen your message. So you know they saw it and you know they are online but are choosing not to reply.  When before they would reply to every message instantly.

It's like they get you addicted to checking your phone and then suddenly nothing.

Horrible.

[hope2727]

Yup it sucks. I finally blocked him on Facebook and that helped. Now I dread seeing his texts on my phone. I haven't blocked his number as in truth I want him to get well and come home but I hold very little hope of it happening.

It is totally a pattern of addiction. I write the texts I would have written him to a few trusted friends and they respond. It helps to have the phone light up and to be able to text to someone the minutia of my day.

[Blimblam]

I remember that hell.

The only solution I found was no contact.

Many people made a list of things that hurt them to look at when they wanted to contact. Anxiety5 had a particularly good post that you might want to print out and look at when you think of contacting or checking up on her. I think it was in a thread about why you can't be friends.  

When in low contact things might seem to be going good again you feel good then bang she drops you and ignores you and you hurt like hell again. The reality is she had you under her spell that entire time and she was in control.

[Mutt]

Hi Infern0,

I hear you. We'd send 100 texts / FB messages a day. Constantly connected for several years.

She moved out.

0.

What helped me to get over the triggers is removing myself off of social media for awhile. I reactivated social media accounts several months later.


--Mutt

[fromheeltoheal]

Yep, us too, and it wasn't until I'd left her and learned about the disorder that I realized why.  My ex told me many times that she 'loved' her iPhone, and later I figured out that it was because she could maintain attachments with text, yet keep them at arm's length so she wouldn't get triggered, and she could maintain multiple attachments that way, a borderline's dream.  Of course she didn't see it that way, she just knew it felt good.

So the lesson?  A lot is lost in written communication, there's no tone of voice and no nuance, and we read between the lines things that just aren't there.  Note to self: Facebook is not out friend in interpersonal relationships, and meeting face to face at Starbucks early can avoid a lot of future pain.  And what did borderlines do before text and the internet, dysfunctional faxes?

[myself]

There's also that middle ground where the fun and loving texts/ emails/ messages turn to projections, anger, distance, unanswered questions, lies... .Where you dread another one coming in more than looking forward to it.

[anxiety5]

When we first got together,  and even before we did we were in constant communication via text or Facebook message. I'm talking 100s of messages every day.

One of the worst things about the relationship was when I got devalued and suddenly the phone went silent.  It was horrible,  just checking my phone all the time and then if it went off and thinking it was her but then it was someone else ... .

The worst part is that on facebook messenger you can see if they are online and also if they have seen your message. So you know they saw it and you know they are online but are choosing not to reply.  When before they would reply to every message instantly.

It's like they get you addicted to checking your phone and then suddenly nothing.

Horrible.

I know you can change your phone number on your carrier's website in literally 5 minutes. If this isn't drastic, I would highly recommend it. You are torturing yourself because you are not hearing from HER. So, to ease this tension, change your number and don't tell her. Gone is the anxiety and anguish because you don't have to wonder anymore. She doesn't have your number so there is no way she can contact you. The goal is separation right? It's a subtle trick of the mind when you are checking your phone to see if she contacted you vs knowing she can't contact you because she doesn't have your new number. It puts you in control vs being controlled through silence.

I know you may not want to hear this but my life is more productive and less personal induced stress since I got off Facebook. Ask yourself if anything you do on there is really important or is it just a chance to torture yourself, cyber spy and ruminate? Kind of counter productive. If you can do it, I'd cancel my account. It was liberating the day I did that. I don't miss it at all. Who cares what everyone else is doing? For me, it was time to start worrying about what I WAS DOING. And in such a way that I would not ask for, seek anyone else's approval which means there is really no reason to be on there posting what I'm up to. I should just do it.

Don't beat yourself up over her not contacting you. Use the peace and quiet to begin to heal yourself rather than playing your relationship on loop which will continue to hurt you even more.

[GoodThingsToCome]

I remember messaging hell... .my ex was particularly good at slamming me with abusive messages while I was at work. I remember leaving for work with everything being fine, only to later on receive a message on whatsapp out of the blue about something that was hurting her feelings - feelings not based on facts but her distorted view of reality. Regardless of how I replied (even if I went the "I hear you and I understand what you are feeling" route), there was going to be a fight as she would demand that I fix something that isn't fixable. It was all about her and what she was feeling at the time (it always has been)... .didn't matter that I was a professional at work who needed to focus.

If it wasn't slamming me with messages, it was playing the ignoring game... .but heaven forbid we don't respond to one of their messages! 

I've blocked her number on whatsapp, SMS and her email address. She may have contacted me or not, I don't care... .she can find someone else to dump on. I wouldn't even consider going to look my ex up on Facebook... .I just know it would do me more harm than good.

Good luck my friend.

[SickofMe]

When we first got together,  and even before we did we were in constant communication via text or Facebook message. I'm talking 100s of messages every day.

One of the worst things about the relationship was when I got devalued and suddenly the phone went silent.  It was horrible,  just checking my phone all the time and then if it went off and thinking it was her but then it was someone else ... .

WOW, yes.  I can only describe it as withdrawal.  I know that texts and FB msgs aren't the same as "real" human contact but they sure do provide a sense of connection during the busy day and times of stress.

I know you may not want to hear this but my life is more productive and less personal induced stress since I got off Facebook. Ask yourself if anything you do on there is really important or is it just a chance to torture yourself, cyber spy and ruminate? Kind of counter productive. If you can do it, I'd cancel my account. It was liberating the day I did that. I don't miss it at all. Who cares what everyone else is doing? For me, it was time to start worrying about what I WAS DOING. And in such a way that I would not ask for, seek anyone else's approval which means there is really no reason to be on there posting what I'm up to. I should just do it.

Personally, I don't want to hear it,  .  I feel like FB has provided me with a lot of entertainment and is 85% positive in my life--but the 15% negative includes time-sucking AND recently trying not to snoop on the X, but failing frequently.  We aren't FB friends anymore but share dozens of mutual friends, so inevitably I'm going to see things, sometimes... .even when he's blocked, I can see "gaps" in threads and it's so anxiety-provoking.

Social media/electronic communication is a mixed bag. 

It's like they get you addicted to checking your phone and then suddenly nothing.

  It might be more empowering to say to yourself:  I allowed myself to get addicted/sucked in to constant checking and so I also have the power to stop.  (Not to get preachy--I'm talking to myself, really.)

I'm sorry, commiserating.  Losing a human connection (whether or not it's via FB) is painful as all hell.  Not sure it matters whether it was healthy or not, it still feels horrible.  Maybe one way to combat those feelings is to work on developing other, healthier, non-romantic friendships.

[Bak86]

We both were addicted to each other via whatsapp. I even texted with her daily when i was abroad. She always wanted to know what i was doing. And yeah when she was angry or there was something wrong, complete and utter silence from her side. I once returned the favor and she freaked out, thought i was leaving her. Communication only happened via whatsapp, she didn't want to call, because calling is stupid, too romantic and she hates romance.

Missed the texting quite bad after we broke up. Can't say i miss it now though.

[anxiety5]

We both were addicted to each other via whatsapp. I even texted with her daily when i was abroad. She always wanted to know what i was doing. And yeah when she was angry or there was something wrong, complete and utter silence from her side. I once returned the favor and she freaked out, thought i was leaving her. Communication only happened via whatsapp, she didn't want to call, because calling is stupid, too romantic and she hates romance.

Missed the texting quite bad after we broke up. Can't say i miss it now though.

So odd. Mine was the same way, exactly. At first, loved the phone. We would have these very long conversations nightly before bed during and after like the 2nd 3rd week of hanging out. When texting started, it became all that. There were several times I felt a lot of resentfulness towards her for various things and wanted to talk to her about how I felt. She would shut down the conversation in person, and usually turn it into a blame storm or storm out wherein I'm left sitting in the living room alone and just leave. But the moment I leave she starts texting. I'm forced to communicate there for the next hour. Fighting via text messaging. Awful. She avoided talking on the phone, a lot of times (and this absolutely annoys me) texts me, but when I call 3 seconds later, won't pick up. And we are talking on weekends not during work hours. Times where I know it was just her and her kid, nobody else etc. She always wanted to know what I was doing. Like every second. Later in the relationship though, when it was pretty clear I guess to her that I was completely trustworthy and am just not the type of person who tries to sneak away, or lies, etc she stopped asking as much. How about the "send me pic" requests, that if ignored they will actually legitimately get pissy about. It's like dating a teenager.

[going places]

I will show my age now; but I loathe 'texting-messaging-emailing' really any 'social media / smart phone' communications.

They are impersonal, and in my experience, people can act all 'tough and cool' via text when they don't have the whoo haaa's to say it to your face.

In my experience, texting/social media as a form of communication is cowardice, and "not real relationship building".

Block

Block

Block

Block

It has been my experience SINCE I blocked ex that my

1. Anxiety has all but disappeared.

2. My anger is in check

3. My sadness is all but gone.

4. PEACE is what I feel  more than I don't.

5. I CAN FOCUS ON ME AND MY GOALS moving forward, not look back ward and marinade in the past.

6. I do not look at my phone 90/11 times a day.

I blocked him on FB 2 years ago... .yeah, while we were still together.

BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK.

For your own peace and sanity.

[JAC_flgirl]

I understand completely.  He hasn't ever ignored me, I just was receiving random hurtful nonsense.  When he realized it was over he made it his mission to hurt me in any way possible.  I had to block him via text & social media.  I definitely have my moments where I wish I could reach out to him, but he has betrayed me in enough ways that my self worth is more important. 

[Bak86]

We both were addicted to each other via whatsapp. I even texted with her daily when i was abroad. She always wanted to know what i was doing. And yeah when she was angry or there was something wrong, complete and utter silence from her side. I once returned the favor and she freaked out, thought i was leaving her. Communication only happened via whatsapp, she didn't want to call, because calling is stupid, too romantic and she hates romance.

Missed the texting quite bad after we broke up. Can't say i miss it now though.

So odd. Mine was the same way, exactly. At first, loved the phone. We would have these very long conversations nightly before bed during and after like the 2nd 3rd week of hanging out. When texting started, it became all that. There were several times I felt a lot of resentfulness towards her for various things and wanted to talk to her about how I felt. She would shut down the conversation in person, and usually turn it into a blame storm or storm out wherein I'm left sitting in the living room alone and just leave. But the moment I leave she starts texting. I'm forced to communicate there for the next hour. Fighting via text messaging. Awful. She avoided talking on the phone, a lot of times (and this absolutely annoys me) texts me, but when I call 3 seconds later, won't pick up. And we are talking on weekends not during work hours. Times where I know it was just her and her kid, nobody else etc. She always wanted to know what I was doing. Like every second. Later in the relationship though, when it was pretty clear I guess to her that I was completely trustworthy and am just not the type of person who tries to sneak away, or lies, etc she stopped asking as much. How about the "send me pic" requests, that if ignored they will actually legitimately get pissy about. It's like dating a teenager.

Fighting over text is the worst thing ever yeah. After our breakup we had huge fights over text, asked her if i could come over, just to talk it out, because over text it just gets worse and worse. She would never have me over. Probably had emotions to cover, which she could do just fine over text.

[anxiety5]

We both were addicted to each other via whatsapp. I even texted with her daily when i was abroad. She always wanted to know what i was doing. And yeah when she was angry or there was something wrong, complete and utter silence from her side. I once returned the favor and she freaked out, thought i was leaving her. Communication only happened via whatsapp, she didn't want to call, because calling is stupid, too romantic and she hates romance.

Missed the texting quite bad after we broke up. Can't say i miss it now though.

So odd. Mine was the same way, exactly. At first, loved the phone. We would have these very long conversations nightly before bed during and after like the 2nd 3rd week of hanging out. When texting started, it became all that. There were several times I felt a lot of resentfulness towards her for various things and wanted to talk to her about how I felt. She would shut down the conversation in person, and usually turn it into a blame storm or storm out wherein I'm left sitting in the living room alone and just leave. But the moment I leave she starts texting. I'm forced to communicate there for the next hour. Fighting via text messaging. Awful. She avoided talking on the phone, a lot of times (and this absolutely annoys me) texts me, but when I call 3 seconds later, won't pick up. And we are talking on weekends not during work hours. Times where I know it was just her and her kid, nobody else etc. She always wanted to know what I was doing. Like every second. Later in the relationship though, when it was pretty clear I guess to her that I was completely trustworthy and am just not the type of person who tries to sneak away, or lies, etc she stopped asking as much. How about the "send me pic" requests, that if ignored they will actually legitimately get pissy about. It's like dating a teenager.

Fighting over text is the worst thing ever yeah. After our breakup we had huge fights over text, asked her if i could come over, just to talk it out, because over text it just gets worse and worse. She would never have me over. Probably had emotions to cover, which she could do just fine over text.

Same here. And it's easier for them to just not respond. She told me once I "scare" her. I found that incredibly offensive when I was calmly and as easily digestible as possible try to explain the way I feel this way or that way. I used to get so frustrated, I'm not joking I would write down what I wanted to address, and literally edit everything except the main message out because I knew my time before being raged at, stormed out on or shut down was minimal. I read somewhere an article that had BPD translations. Basically when I say this, here is what I really mean, from their point of view. I connected the dots when one of the points on there said "You scare me" and the translation from borderline to non borderline was "You see through my nonsense and that threatens my very existence"  Looking back, it makes sense. It's not like I had an ax, was ranting and raving on a table and punching holes in the wall. I could be 10 feet away from her on a different couch, talking slowly and even looking down to avoid any sense of intimidation by staring at her directly and that is when she would tell me I "scare her"  Makes sense.

[hurting300]

We both were addicted to each other via whatsapp. I even texted with her daily when i was abroad. She always wanted to know what i was doing. And yeah when she was angry or there was something wrong, complete and utter silence from her side. I once returned the favor and she freaked out, thought i was leaving her. Communication only happened via whatsapp, she didn't want to call, because calling is stupid, too romantic and she hates romance.

Missed the texting quite bad after we broke up. Can't say i miss it now though.

so basically what your saying is we should change our phone numbers and block them on Facebook and that will give us control?

So odd. Mine was the same way, exactly. At first, loved the phone. We would have these very long conversations nightly before bed during and after like the 2nd 3rd week of hanging out. When texting started, it became all that. There were several times I felt a lot of resentfulness towards her for various things and wanted to talk to her about how I felt. She would shut down the conversation in person, and usually turn it into a blame storm or storm out wherein I'm left sitting in the living room alone and just leave. But the moment I leave she starts texting. I'm forced to communicate there for the next hour. Fighting via text messaging. Awful. She avoided talking on the phone, a lot of times (and this absolutely annoys me) texts me, but when I call 3 seconds later, won't pick up. And we are talking on weekends not during work hours. Times where I know it was just her and her kid, nobody else etc. She always wanted to know what I was doing. Like every second. Later in the relationship though, when it was pretty clear I guess to her that I was completely trustworthy and am just not the type of person who tries to sneak away, or lies, etc she stopped asking as much. How about the "send me pic" requests, that if ignored they will actually legitimately get pissy about. It's like dating a teenager.

Fighting over text is the worst thing ever yeah. After our breakup we had huge fights over text, asked her if i could come over, just to talk it out, because over text it just gets worse and worse. She would never have me over. Probably had emotions to cover, which she could do just fine over text.

Same here. And it's easier for them to just not respond. She told me once I "scare" her. I found that incredibly offensive when I was calmly and as easily digestible as possible try to explain the way I feel this way or that way. I used to get so frustrated, I'm not joking I would write down what I wanted to address, and literally edit everything except the main message out because I knew my time before being raged at, stormed out on or shut down was minimal. I read somewhere an article that had BPD translations. Basically when I say this, here is what I really mean, from their point of view. I connected the dots when one of the points on there said "You scare me" and the translation from borderline to non borderline was "You see through my nonsense and that threatens my very existence"  Looking back, it makes sense. It's not like I had an ax, was ranting and raving on a table and punching holes in the wall. I could be 10 feet away from her on a different couch, talking slowly and even looking down to avoid any sense of intimidation by staring at her directly and that is when she would tell me I "scare her"  Makes sense.

[Bak86]

We both were addicted to each other via whatsapp. I even texted with her daily when i was abroad. She always wanted to know what i was doing. And yeah when she was angry or there was something wrong, complete and utter silence from her side. I once returned the favor and she freaked out, thought i was leaving her. Communication only happened via whatsapp, she didn't want to call, because calling is stupid, too romantic and she hates romance.

Missed the texting quite bad after we broke up. Can't say i miss it now though.

So odd. Mine was the same way, exactly. At first, loved the phone. We would have these very long conversations nightly before bed during and after like the 2nd 3rd week of hanging out. When texting started, it became all that. There were several times I felt a lot of resentfulness towards her for various things and wanted to talk to her about how I felt. She would shut down the conversation in person, and usually turn it into a blame storm or storm out wherein I'm left sitting in the living room alone and just leave. But the moment I leave she starts texting. I'm forced to communicate there for the next hour. Fighting via text messaging. Awful. She avoided talking on the phone, a lot of times (and this absolutely annoys me) texts me, but when I call 3 seconds later, won't pick up. And we are talking on weekends not during work hours. Times where I know it was just her and her kid, nobody else etc. She always wanted to know what I was doing. Like every second. Later in the relationship though, when it was pretty clear I guess to her that I was completely trustworthy and am just not the type of person who tries to sneak away, or lies, etc she stopped asking as much. How about the "send me pic" requests, that if ignored they will actually legitimately get pissy about. It's like dating a teenager.

Fighting over text is the worst thing ever yeah. After our breakup we had huge fights over text, asked her if i could come over, just to talk it out, because over text it just gets worse and worse. She would never have me over. Probably had emotions to cover, which she could do just fine over text.

Same here. And it's easier for them to just not respond. She told me once I "scare" her. I found that incredibly offensive when I was calmly and as easily digestible as possible try to explain the way I feel this way or that way. I used to get so frustrated, I'm not joking I would write down what I wanted to address, and literally edit everything except the main message out because I knew my time before being raged at, stormed out on or shut down was minimal. I read somewhere an article that had BPD translations. Basically when I say this, here is what I really mean, from their point of view. I connected the dots when one of the points on there said "You scare me" and the translation from borderline to non borderline was "You see through my nonsense and that threatens my very existence"  Looking back, it makes sense. It's not like I had an ax, was ranting and raving on a table and punching holes in the wall. I could be 10 feet away from her on a different couch, talking slowly and even looking down to avoid any sense of intimidation by staring at her directly and that is when she would tell me I "scare her"  Makes sense.

My ex never told me i scared her, but she would always say how i never took her serious 

[Dexter0420]

Yes, from my mom. She will send numerous hateful texts and the next day want to have a completely normal conversation. A few months ago she actually replied, who is this bc I don't have a daughter anymore. If you try and discuss it later she doesn't want to saying she doesn't want to rehash the past or was justified in her behavior bc she was hurt.  When I know that she's going to lash out about something I delete without even reading them.

[Deeno02]

For a year and a half, inseparable on texts, phone, instagram, FB. Got dumped, nothing. I suspect its because of her new love. Id kill to hear one nice thing from her, but I now know I didnt matter one bit to her.

[BlackandBlue]

Right from the start we texted each other nonstop. At first I loved it because I wasn't used to that kind of attention. But after she moved in with me it began to annoy me. Not only did she live with me but she worked with me so I saw her constantly. When we weren't to together like when she was at school she would blow my phone up with texts. If I didn't text back fast enough she would get upset with me. I was being smothered to death by her and sometimes I just didn't want to talk to her. I tried explaining this to her but she was really hurt... .I think she took it as abandonment. Would this be an example of a borderlines not understanding the concept of boundaries? I just wish she would have gave me some space. I'm not gonna lie, since we broke up I miss the texting. It seems weird after even after all this time to pull my phone out and there is nothing from her.

[Whiteytheox72]

when my hell first started in 2011 I would get texts messages on fb messages on myspace and emails one after the other all night long. I counted in one week I got over 1000 messages from her. I thought it was so awesome to have a hot chick so into me. Boy was I in for a surprise!

[kc sunshine]

Oh I'm so with you all-- my empty text box is where I feel her absence the most. When we were good, there would always be one or two from her throughout the day. When we fought there would be 10,002-- the worst. And they'd always be soo long.

[RedDove]

Oh my, Yes! The emails from my ex BPDbf in the beginning (idealization) were non stop, lengthy and sweet. I had one he sent to me with the Subject "Love Letter" on my Birthday that printed out onto three pages! That was only 12 days after our first date! I went back and re-read some of the emails and the things he revealed obviously are red flags, now that I know he suffers from BPD.

The texts were non stop as well! Very addictive! All through the day and night, at least 20-30 per day. I worked full time and had a professional career. He'd also get upset if I didn't respond in a timely manner. Really drained my focus at work!

Of course after discovering the lies and cheating, I now know some of those texts were "mass" texts. Like when he texted "Hey, what are your plans tonight? Drinks?" Makes me sick to recall texting back, "Sure, sounds great!" and getting no response back until the next day!

When he was having a bad day/time, or, I texted about something he didnt like or want to answer, he would go dead quiet! If I didn't re-initiate the texting with a "Are you okay?", I would get the silent treatment until I broke down and apologized for whatever the imagined/perceived slight was to him. Most times I had no clue what I had texted/said that was perceived as bad by him.

I went through major text withdrawals after I ended it with him. The silence was defeaning! I learned to leave my cell phone in my purse vs. right in front of me. I also had two friends (life lines) I would text when I got the urge to text him.

I'm 4 months NC. I'm lucky now if I get just one text a day. The funny thing is before I'd either get all excited and/or nervous when I got texts from my ex BPDbbf. However, now I'm kinda indifferent towards texts. If I get one from a friend or family member, I read it and respond. If not, I don't really care. I've always felt texting was a horrid way/medium to  communicate.

[clydegriffith]

Yes, the non-stop texting was very flattering at first and i kind of liked it. In retrospect it was just her being clingy and needy. I now see that as a huge red flag.

[kc sunshine]

I wonder why texts are their favorite mode of communication? And anyone know what they did before texts?

[anxiety5]

I wonder why texts are their favorite mode of communication? And anyone know what they did before texts?

Think about it. If someone is manipulative, calculated, controlling, egocentric, shady with a touch of sadistic, what better means of communication could their be? Mine used to always turn her phone off, which meant iMessages would go green. That was her equivalent of hanging up the phone.

Manipulation - Messages can be thought out before being sent. Length of time between answering can be used as a means to control, silent treatment vs. instant response. Another way to condition the non into acting a certain way, as well as take something away. 

Calculated - See above

Controlling - They have the ability to hold multiple conversations at once. Dictate both the flow and nature of conversation. Invest their fragmented attention spans in a preferential way. Send a text, go talk to someone else for 20 minutes. Check response, send a text, etc. It's not like you could start a conversation in person, leave and go drive to someone else house, then go back, etc.  It's just a very easy way for them to control everything.

Confrontation - Texts offer the abuser to dictate confrontation. Bomb you all night with texts during a fight. Threaten you. Say I hate you! and have you read it when you wake up. Also if you unmask them, it allows them to contain your shouting and your anger away from their ears in person, into a little box (phone) on the edge of their nightstand while they ignore each of the messages you send, pretending that they are reading your hurt.

Egocentric - "Why do you like me so much?"  etc.  They get to cast a line for compliments, and read them over and over. Also get the satisfaction of sending you hurtful things and know that you are reading them over and over.

[vortex of confusion]

Mine tortures me with email, phone calls, and Facebook messages. I work in 4 hour shifts and the number of messages between us is sometimes 50-80. The other night, our home internet was down so I didn't get any email messages. That was so unbelievably nice.

One of the benefits of us both having the old flip phones is that it makes texting more difficult.

Before cell phones, it was him showing up at my work all the time. That was almost 18 years ago. At the time, I thought it was pretty flattering for a little while. But, it got old and I asked him to back off a bit as we weren't even officially dating yet. Oh, and when I would leave his apartment, he would call my mom and talk to her until I got home. At the time, I thought it was sweet. Now, it just seems creepy.

When I started coming out of isolation, I thought it was odd that my new friends didn't call/text/email like my husband and mother had done for soo long. It is amazing what pulling my head out of my butt did for my ability to see how much my husband had smothered me.

[kc sunshine]

whoa, that is wild! I went out with someone about 20 years ago who also had BPD traits (not as full blown as my current ex though), and she'd always show up at my work. It was embarrassing. It is so interesting how technology mediates mental illness.