Read posts on the "staying" board. not missing him anymore.

[Seriously?]

Since I have been tearful today, missing my ex, I thought maybe I'd read some of what folks who have made the conscious choice to stay have to say. I had many flashbacks to times I had "managed" in my relationship.  You know what? I don't want to manage, to cope. I want to live life to the fullest.  I had to stifle the parts of me that threatened him. I was regularly woken up in the middle of the night because he wanted to discuss something with me. He questioned my every move. I had to constantly explain and defend myself.  The good times were fabulous, but not worth ever dealing with the chaos of having him in my life. I am a very trustworthy person. I have flaws and am not perfect.  That is why our relationship cannot be saved.

[Mutt]

Seriously?,

That's frustrating getting woken up in the middle of the night. The best way I found to describe it like the book is "Walking on Eggshells". Boy, I don't miss it. It's a reminder and lesson that you have one life to live. Live and learn. There are many valuable lessons in these r/s's. Own your part and grow.