6 week breakup

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Well, here it is 3 am almost and can't sleep. It has been 6 weeks since my break up with my borderline fiancé. We dated on and off for 8 years. That is a long time. One year ago to the day almost he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. Since then he has treated me horribly. Oh, yes there were days of kindness but the rages got more frequent and he decided there was little or no sex. If I started to mention a wedding or how we were going to combine homes he would give me the silent treatment or better yet make up what I know now as a big lie about us buying a home together. No sex, no communication and more rages. Do I really want to marry that? Oh, did I mention he is very handsome, a pain addict with (opium based drug) and is on disability. But, he can be oh so charming.

Amazing, he even started to treat my dog like crap. She is a sweet shih Tzu 14 years old and isn't long for this life. Two months ago he started not kissing me on the lips, cheek only, said he would no longer stay at my house, his house only, slept on the edge of the bed and would not talk. Unavailable a lot. I knew he was cheating. He asked me to move in only he was treating me like ___ so why would I? Here we are engaged and no sex, no plan, he was distancing again and I was walking on eggshells.

The email came breaking off the engagement two days after I tried to talk to him and left after dinner when he sat in front of the tv with his arms folded and would not talk.

Yes, the heading was The Engagement is off. Then he went on to say he wants to move on and we are done. The timeshare we own together need to be sold and he wants nothing more to do with me ever. Isn't that great... .Oh, he also wanted the engagement ring back. Two months earlier we were looking a houses to buy. Two months earlier we made reservations for a trip. He told me he loved me everyday. That love I know now was nothing more than ADDICTION.

After the email I responded with well I could feel it was over when he refused to touch me, talk to me and the feeling was mutual. I said I wanted NO CONTACT and before I could cut him off my email he sent the same email 11 times asking for his personal items, HIS ring and $300.00 I owed him. I cut him off email and have heard nothing since in 6 weeks. Got a phone call from two girls laughing and one said "I am your twin". It was 2:30 in the morning at the number was unavailable. They called again but it went to voicemail. I a sure this is his latest rebounder. I was in shock at first, hurt now I hate his guts.

[downwhim]

Well, here it is 3 am almost and can't sleep. It has been 6 weeks since my break up with my borderline fiancé. We dated on and off for 8 years. That is a long time. One year ago to the day almost he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. Since then he has treated me horribly. Oh, yes there were days of kindness but the rages got more frequent and he decided there was little or no sex. If I started to mention a wedding or how we were going to combine homes he would give me the silent treatment or better yet make up what I know now as a big lie about us buying a home together. No sex, no communication and more rages. Do I really want to marry that? Oh, did I mention he is very handsome, a pain addict with (opium based drug) and is on disability. But, he can be oh so charming.

Amazing, he even started to treat my dog like crap. She is a sweet shih Tzu 14 years old and isn't long for this life. Two months ago he started not kissing me on the lips, cheek only, said he would no longer stay at my house, his house only, slept on the edge of the bed and would not talk. Unavailable a lot. I knew he was cheating. He asked me to move in only he was treating me like ___ so why would I? Here we are engaged and no sex, no plan, he was distancing again and I was walking on eggshells.

The email came breaking off the engagement two days after I tried to talk to him and left after dinner when he sat in front of the tv with his arms folded and would not talk.

Yes, the heading was The Engagement is off. Then he went on to say he wants to move on and we are done. The timeshare we own together need to be sold and he wants nothing more to do with me ever. Isn't that great... .Oh, he also wanted the engagement ring back. Two months earlier we were looking a houses to buy. Two months earlier we made reservations for a trip. He told me he loved me everyday. That love I know now was nothing more than ADDICTION.

After the email I responded with well I could feel it was over when he refused to touch me, talk to me and the feeling was mutual. I said I wanted NO CONTACT and before I could cut him off my email he sent the same email 11 times asking for his personal items, HIS ring and $300.00 I owed him. I cut him off email and have heard nothing since in 6 weeks. Got a phone call from two girls laughing and one said "I am your twin". It was 2:30 in the morning at the number was unavailable. They called again but it went to voicemail. I a sure this is his latest rebounder. I was in shock at first, hurt now I hate his guts.

[JohnLove]

Hi downwind. I can hardly believe your story. But I know it's true. I am sorry you had to endure this suffering. I hope for you it will make you stronger as a person. The disorder is a terrible tragic thing. Your sound clear and self aware and sound like you're doing OK.

The garbage with girls (I'll use that term loosely) calling you in the early hours is extremely hurtful. That is the hurt inside him coming out. That is hateful. Don't accept it into your life. It is not your hurt. Don't make it yours. I know this is easier said than done.

My first BPD girlfriend stole a car with her ex and wrecked it out the front of my home at 2am and woke my mother... .who recognised her walking away. I wasn't even home at the time. I didnt do a thing to her. We were broken up because she cheated. How's that for value?.

I will direct you to the tools on this site. They are very informative and helpful. I think you would benefit particularily from the "How a BPD relationship evolves" to be helpful for your healing.

Peace to you.