trying to break free

[Infern0]

So I am trying no contact again, have been trying and failing for a long time now but this time I hope it sticks.

She seems to have decided to give me the silent treatment after the conversation that prompted me to go NC,  so that's been really helpful.

Have made it 3 days, hopeful that she is giving me permenant silent treatment but that'd be too easy

[DangIthurts]

So I am trying no contact again, have been trying and failing for a long time now but this time I hope it sticks.

She seems to have decided to give me the silent treatment after the conversation that prompted me to go NC,  so that's been really helpful.

Have made it 3 days, hopeful that she is giving me permenant silent treatment but that'd be too easy

Doubt it. Even mine after two days I was shocked to get a text. TRUELY shocked... .And I was kinda shocked last week she spoke up and commented on a totally random picture on one of the social media sites.

I'm sure she'll get to a point where she realizes she's past making you suffer (I'm sure she's getting a kick out of hoping your jumping), and wonder what is really going on, then if you don't respond panic might set in... .Or who knows maybe continue on down the silent road .

[Chasing_Ghosts]

They never go silent for long unfortunately as you know mate. Thats simply no fun!

Two Weeks since NC.

Her third attempt so far. She texted "ssoo howcome youre not talking to me? out of curiosity."

This reasoning just kinda pissed me off.

Been tempted to respond with "curiosity killed the cat and my interest in putting in any effort answer your question." or something along those lines. 

[downwhim]

Honestly for me it was blocking off all contact on email. He does not text or are either of us on fb. So, that being done was frustrating for him. He sent emails with no response as they went to junk mail. He always would send little joke emails when he wanted my attention. It could be months down the road. Just block her and try hard to do the NC thing. It works. Eventually they get it.  

[Jmanster]

Dude, I'm telling you... .mine is doing the same thing while she is overseas... .my temptation is seriously killing me... .I'm always giving her the benefit of the doubt by responding

[harbour]

One week since I broke up, two weeks NC (from me), except for two messages about practical issues.

I am trying to be selfish not caring too much about his feelings and needs. But I just discovered that it gets a little easier to bear keeping NC, when I remind myself that it doesn't help him either if I break NC. During these last two weeks he sent me I don't know how many messages, and in most of them he begins with: "I have promised myself, and you, that I will leave you alone forever." - "You will never hear from me again, ever. I promise, for sure." - "Again I have sent you too many messages. This one is the last one. I mean it, harbour mine. I am not joking ... ." And every time he sent me such message he sent me another one five minutes later. So, by not breaking my NC I also help him withdraw from "the drug".

It's like a little child begging for ice cream again and again. "I promise I will not beg for another ice cream (but please give me one more)".

It would maybe also be not so hard if I was angry with him. I have wondered why I am not feeling angry. I have very, very good reasons to be angry. I feel more sorry for him. But feeling sorry for him would never motivate me to get him back. Cause I know that if I did, my life would become a true thriller.

[Infern0]

The thing is I regret having to do this but I have no choice, none.

I tried going back in as "friends" but she couldn't handle that and before long was pushing those boundaries telling me I'm the one and all that nonsense.  Then before you know it we recycled.

Basically she wants me on the side,  friend one minute,  secret lover the next.  I guess her new man just ain't up to it in the bedroom or something so I get the call.

She won't leave his money though,  and he's too much of a buffoon to realize what's going on.

I'm not being part of this sick game anymore,  I tried my best with her but nothing works,  and yeah the sex is good but so what.  I'm sick of sneaking around,  it's not even fun anymore it just winds me up.

No more,  no more.

[Xidion]

My ex is in a relationship with her new supply. Doubt I hear from her for a long time. Makes things easier for me.

[Infern0]

Well that didn't last long,  here come the text messages "what have I done,  I don't understand why you are being so mean to me, I haven't done anything to you"

Do I explain? Or just keep going with the NC?

[DangIthurts]

Well that didn't last long,  here come the text messages "what have I done,  I don't understand why you are being so mean to me, I haven't done anything to you"

Do I explain? Or just keep going with the NC?

I mean if you regret not talking give her an ultimatum that she can leave him officially or go on her way. If you get an excuse or something then don't respond.

That advice is based on I feel like you'd be in a better place without the other guy around. If you're really sure you want to say nothing then don't.

[Pingo]

You know that explaining to someone with BPD is a futile exercise.  Only do so if you wish to re-engage.  She will never be able to be thoughtful of your needs Inferno.  It will always be about her and her needs.  You deserve to have someone who really cares about you, validates you, makes you their number one priority, doesn't hurt you over and over.  :)o you see her ever being that person?

[hope2727]

You deserve to have someone who really cares about you, validates you, makes you their number one priority, doesn't hurt you over and over.  Do you see her ever being that person?

Thanks Pingo I really needed this tonight