Flip flopping through the range of emotions - Anger

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I broke up with my exBPDgf over two months ago now. I went NC for quite a while.

I'm trying to be compassionate and take the Radical Acceptance approach to 'friendship', which is really just about spending some time together occasionally to let her know I haven't abandoned her, that 'm still around albeit in a very different way - we had a ten year friendship of sorts before we had a relationship, and the relationship was pushed very much by her.

Today though I'm flopping through emotions. Particularly anger.

I'm angry because she knew she had BPD, but didn't tell me. I appreciate the stigma associated with it would make it incredibly hard to tell someone up front, and that is why she didn't.

But I'm angry because she knew what would happen, she knew how this would all end.

She once made a comment early on about 'if you'll stay', meaning if I would stay in the relationship.

If someone had herpes going into a relationship, I would expect them to tell me upfront because otherwise it's a massive risk to my health if they don't. And not telling is a big breach of trust.

She knew how this would turn out all along, but put me through it all anyway for a few years of supply for herself. She put my mental health at risk (actually she impacted on it because now I have PSTD), and it was a big breach of trust her not telling me. At any point.

I'm angry I didn't take more notice of her hints - 'I'm much better than I used to be, this relationship can't be long term, I can't change;

I did not even know there was a disorder called Borderline prior to getting involved with her. My next question to every potential partner (with some time), is now (sadly) going to be: ':)o you have any mental health issues because I can't be in relationship with someone who does, and doesn't tell me'. In reality, I don't think I would ever put myself into a relationship where a potential partner has a mental health issue ever again. I can't be someone's emotional tampon (as I've seen it described on here) nor their emotional airbag.

I'm just angry with her in that she knew this would happen, didn't tell me, and left me smashed at the end to try and work out wt* just happened. I'm also sad that this story will now play out x 10 for the rest of her life, until she ends up living by herself as a sad, lonely hermit.

Grrrr...

[parisian]

I broke up with my exBPDgf over two months ago now. I went NC for quite a while.

I'm trying to be compassionate and take the Radical Acceptance approach to 'friendship', which is really just about spending some time together occasionally to let her know I haven't abandoned her, that 'm still around albeit in a very different way - we had a ten year friendship of sorts before we had a relationship, and the relationship was pushed very much by her.

Today though I'm flopping through emotions. Particularly anger.

I'm angry because she knew she had BPD, but didn't tell me. I appreciate the stigma associated with it would make it incredibly hard to tell someone up front, and that is why she didn't.

But I'm angry because she knew what would happen, she knew how this would all end.

She once made a comment early on about 'if you'll stay', meaning if I would stay in the relationship.

If someone had herpes going into a relationship, I would expect them to tell me upfront because otherwise it's a massive risk to my health if they don't. And not telling is a big breach of trust.

She knew how this would turn out all along, but put me through it all anyway for a few years of supply for herself. She put my mental health at risk (actually she impacted on it because now I have PSTD), and it was a big breach of trust her not telling me. At any point.

I'm angry I didn't take more notice of her hints - 'I'm much better than I used to be, this relationship can't be long term, I can't change;

I did not even know there was a disorder called Borderline prior to getting involved with her. My next question to every potential partner (with some time), is now (sadly) going to be: ':)o you have any mental health issues because I can't be in relationship with someone who does, and doesn't tell me'. In reality, I don't think I would ever put myself into a relationship where a potential partner has a mental health issue ever again. I can't be someone's emotional tampon (as I've seen it described on here) nor their emotional airbag.

I'm just angry with her in that she knew this would happen, didn't tell me, and left me smashed at the end to try and work out wt* just happened. I'm also sad that this story will now play out x 10 for the rest of her life, until she ends up living by herself as a sad, lonely hermit.

Grrrr...

[peiper]

I know that mine knew also. But I really think she was in denial. She told me after we'd been married a few months that she'd had a breakdown years ago in flight attendant training.  I kinda freaked out and asked more about it. Her reply was that she'd told me about it. I mean really?  I think I would have filed that little tid  bit away in the memory bank!