Help me stay NC

[Xidion]

I'm having an extreme urge to text my ex and tell her how it amazes me that she can throw away something good just because another guy shows her a little attention. That I would have done anything in this world for her. I know this is a bad idea and would get me nowhere.  Ugh. Someone stop me.

[Infern0]

Don't do it buddy,  don't do it.

Turn your phone off and put it in another room.

No word of a lie if you send that text it's back to square one.  You are FREE.  Don't do ANYTHING that could land you back in slavery!

[Xidion]

Don't do it buddy,  don't do it.

Turn your phone off and put it in another room.

No word of a lie if you send that text it's back to square one.  You are FREE.  Don't do ANYTHING that could land you back in slavery!

I hate her, man. I don't want to hate her, but I do. She told me I didn't treat her good AFTER cheating on me. The idea of her telling everyone how horrible I am just gets to me. I'm a great guy and I know it. I even heard she told people I slapped her around which NEVER happened.

[Splitblack4good]

Don't do it buddy,  don't do it.

Turn your phone off and put it in another room.

No word of a lie if you send that text it's back to square one.  You are FREE.  Don't do ANYTHING that could land you back in slavery!

i thought no contact was gona be difficult it was difficult! I got to day 15 and the temptation ease . Day 16 guess who text me ! The supprising thing is once is read it was I tempted to reply ? NO I wasn't the fact I wasn't felt great I wasn't even worried if she had sent another I was not in any way tempted . I've actually broken the mental bond that was drawing me to her and am now thinking would I get back together if given the opportunity? If you had asked me this a week ago different story. She is still with my replacement but I don't care anymore sure I think of her sure I miss her but I have excepted it's over and it's time to now focus on my life . I've had 3 more texts from her since stating she is still angry at me ! She is still mad at me for splitting up with her and she can't forgive me ! I simply text 1 reply with

You don't have to and you don't need to I am content with myself and I hope you have found the same thing .

I have not heard anything since and am not worried if I never hear from her again I do pity her and others with BPD because they will forever be chasing and dreaming of what they think is love goin to relaitionship to relaitionship and it getting harder for them and more confusing .

I hate her, man. I don't want to hate her, but I do. She told me I didn't treat her good AFTER cheating on me. The idea of her telling everyone how horrible I am just gets to me. I'm a great guy and I know it. I even heard she told people I slapped her around which NEVER happened.

[Splitblack4good]

Don't do it buddy,  don't do it.

Turn your phone off and put it in another room.

No word of a lie if you send that text it's back to square one.  You are FREE.  Don't do ANYTHING that could land you back in slavery!

I hate her, man. I don't want to hate her, but I do. She told me I didn't treat her good AFTER cheating on me. The idea of her telling everyone how horrible I am just gets to me. I'm a great guy and I know it. I even heard she told people I slapped her around which NEVER happened.

Same as me ive just posted above this with the NC thing I don't hate her and I don't hate her ! In fact I feel not a lot about her as it wasn't real the more you tell yourself this the penny will drop logic takes over and your normal again .

[Splitblack4good]

You need to get a grip ! I never once thought Id be saying this as I was in your position only 4 days ago just like the other members on here told me to get a grip you it's easy for you to say ! But seriously you will get ther and when you do you will be posting get a grip on someone else's story . Don't hate her tell yourself this if it helps but deep down what's the point ? She doesn't feel or think like we do she never has ! And never will !

Think of her as a terminator she looks human on the outside but cold robot on the inside she is a machine that doesn't have a heart she feels no loving emotions no remorse ! She is wired and programmed  to find targets !  She will not find what she is looking for and she will not stop ! Until we are emotionly dead !

[Infared]

Don't do it buddy,  don't do it.

Turn your phone off and put it in another room.

No word of a lie if you send that text it's back to square one.  You are FREE.  Don't do ANYTHING that could land you back in slavery!

I hate her, man. I don't want to hate her, but I do. She told me I didn't treat her good AFTER cheating on me. The idea of her telling everyone how horrible I am just gets to me. I'm a great guy and I know it. I even heard she told people I slapped her around which NEVER happened.

Xidion

Well, if she is anything like my pwBPD she will tell anyone anything to play the victim and manipulate everyone she has to to get what she has decided that she wants.  She will lie to you, him, her parents, her therapist, her friends, people she works with... .anyone to be the victim and control the situation for her latest "plan". The prettier that they are the easier it is for them to get away with it.

If she is anything like my pwBPD she does not care anything about you or your feelings. She has a new toy and you are just an annoyance. Someone to mess up her new plan... .but she may throw you an occasional bone to keep you around in the background in case the new situation doesn't pan out. That's all.

I know it is not easy... but get away from that phone and get some air. Save you this time, just like you saved her. Love you. Getting away from this person is called  "Loving You"!

[Xidion]

I was able to resist contacting her. 8 days NC now. It feels like forever. She is definitely on a hard core smear campaign, and from what I've heard, it started long before she actually left. I pity her new toy.

[hope2727]

Oh Xidion, I am so sorry you are enduring this. It is terrible to love someone who doesn't appreciate it. Let alone someone who doesn't respect you. 

I am the target of a smear campaign too. It has been horrible. I hope the truth comes out eventually. If not oh well I guess.

I seriously hope you can resist reaching out to her. I know I want to call mine constantly but I resist. He will just lash out at me. Yours will too.

I am considering writing an English to BPD dictionary. Let me give you a sample.

Text from me to him ... .

Hello beloved exfiancee with BPD. I miss you. I love you. I forgive you. I hope you can forgive me. We are both a product of our experiences and I know that it makes things difficult sometimes but I truly believe that there is nothing we can't overcome if we hold hands and work together. I hope you love and miss me as I do you. Please come home and lets get on with our beautiful life together.   

Translation to BPDese... .

Hello jerk face. I am so weak and needy that I am talking to you again after everything you did to me. I must be a real loser to want to be with someone who treats me so bad. I only want what you can give me like money and attention. I am willing to overlook terrible behaviour on your part because I am so desperate to not be alone. I am pathetic and a loser to want to be with someone as pathetic as you. Get back here and meet all my needs so I can be happy again.     

NOTE! This is how he would interpret it not how I feel. My original message is sincere.

So consider posting here what you would have said and I can scan back through my texts and see what he would have responded when I texted him similar messages.

Also read "its called a break up because its broken". It will make you laugh and cry and breathe again.

     

[peiper]

Dude she's already telling people you abused her. Leave it be or you could end up in court like I did on a bogus charge. They are capable of doing anything when triggered. And believe me if you end up in court and you can take a piss  standing up your guilty. So be safe.

[Loveofhislife]

I am considering writing an English to BPD dictionary. Let me give you a sample.

Text from me to him ... .

Hello beloved exfiancee with BPD. I miss you. I love you. I forgive you. I hope you can forgive me. We are both a product of our experiences and I know that it makes things difficult sometimes but I truly believe that there is nothing we can't overcome if we hold hands and work together. I hope you love and miss me as I do you. Please come home and lets get on with our beautiful life together.  

Translation to BPDese... .

Hello jerk face. I am so weak and needy that I am talking to you again after everything you did to me. I must be a real loser to want to be with someone who treats me so bad. I only want what you can give me like money and attention. I am willing to overlook terrible behaviour on your part because I am so desperate to not be alone. I am pathetic and a loser to want to be with someone as pathetic as you. Get back here and meet all my needs so I can be happy again.    

Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, hope2727!

I suppose we all have moments when we want to tell them how we sincerely feel, and you remind us that what we say and what they hear are VERY different.  Thank you for this.

Xidion:  remember, we do NC for us.  Where I am in the process... .even one text from him throws me into a funk.  I'm not contacting him, and it's time I make sure he can't contact me.  It seems that the attorney's orders aren't enough.

[Xidion]

I'm on my 11th day of no contact,  5 weeks post b/u. My ex has been with a replacement since day 1. I had a dream last night that I spoke with him and told him about her relationship history and patterns. Then i was getting texts from him telling me about their plans for that night. So weird. Woke up missing her. I always go straight here when I wake up. I still have good days and bad days. I'm still trying to fight the memories of who I THOUGHT she was and concentrate on who she really is.  It's hard to except that she is a fraud and who I thought was an amazing person was just a talented actress to get what she wanted.

[Infared]

I'm on my 11th day of no contact,  5 weeks post b/u. My ex has been with a replacement since day 1. I had a dream last night that I spoke with him and told him about her relationship history and patterns. Then i was getting texts from him telling me about their plans for that night. So weird. Woke up missing her. I always go straight here when I wake up. I still have good days and bad days. I'm still trying to fight the memories of who I THOUGHT she was and concentrate on who she really is.  It's hard to except that she is a fraud and who I thought was an amazing person was just a talented actress to get what she wanted.

Yeah... it's tough to get your heart and you emotions onto the same page as your head. I can tell you from experience just keep convincing your heart of the truth. Disregard her words and clearly replay her actions. That is where our truth lies. It's VITAL that we see and own that. Our word is true. There's is not and that is where a lot of our confusion and denial lies. This is how they manipulated our honorable selves. It's painful to accept this, but working at that is loving us.

I have not seen my ex for about a year and a half. Have not talked to her in many more years.

Today she drove by me... .I was in the opposite lane with my shades on... .I kept my head straight ahead and gave up absolutely nothing... .not a flinch.  She was breaking her neck... .staring me down. I swear that my long-term resolve really makes her a little crazy... .hee hee.

I felt next to nothing and I know that it has been a long road to taking care of me in a healthy way regarding the parasite that is her. I have to keep that perspective to feel safe. That is me loving me. Feels good.

[Xidion]

Thanks for the reply Infared.  I've been doing pretty well. The FOG is just starting to clear. I can't wait till I am to the point that you are.

[Xidion]

Day 13 of no contact. Tomorrow makes 6 weeks from the breakup. I thought about her a lot today. I've been doing good at staying occupied. I'm still having ups and downs. I went on a date a couple days ago, but I'm not being fair to her, because in my mind I'm comparing her. She isn't quite as attractive and I keep thinking that I have to make sure my next girl is way more attractive to make her jealous. But that's the opposite of how I should be thinking. Maybe I'm not ready to date yet