Talked with the dBPD ex last night after a month

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Well it's been a month since I kicked her out. Two days ago I accidentally called her grandmas cell and hung up immediately. Well the ex tried calling me twice yesterday while I was in a poker tournament no voicemail, I ignored it as I was in a game, then on the drive home she called again and left this angry ass voicemail about stay out of her life bla bla bla.

I call her back when I'm home and just started out with "why are you so angry in your voicemail" apparently she was pissed because I didnt answer her calls. She claims to have called me many more times over the past month but I never got any calls. She started crying talking about how she loves me and misses me, cant stop thinking about me everynight. Then she goes on about how she met a guy at a bar and she's been seeing him and she's sleeping with him to get over me... .She tried bringing him up a couple times... .I guess she's trying to make me jealous... .Sure I'm pissed that she meets a guy at a bar and is dating him after a week of leaving but whatever.

Anyways so apparently she missed her court date, violated probation again, back drinking... .She was all over the place emotionally. I'm supposed to see her today, I don't even know what to say.

[rockhardabsman]

Well it's been a month since I kicked her out. Two days ago I accidentally called her grandmas cell and hung up immediately. Well the ex tried calling me twice yesterday while I was in a poker tournament no voicemail, I ignored it as I was in a game, then on the drive home she called again and left this angry ass voicemail about stay out of her life bla bla bla.

I call her back when I'm home and just started out with "why are you so angry in your voicemail" apparently she was pissed because I didnt answer her calls. She claims to have called me many more times over the past month but I never got any calls. She started crying talking about how she loves me and misses me, cant stop thinking about me everynight. Then she goes on about how she met a guy at a bar and she's been seeing him and she's sleeping with him to get over me... .She tried bringing him up a couple times... .I guess she's trying to make me jealous... .Sure I'm pissed that she meets a guy at a bar and is dating him after a week of leaving but whatever.

Anyways so apparently she missed her court date, violated probation again, back drinking... .She was all over the place emotionally. I'm supposed to see her today, I don't even know what to say.

[hope2727]

I am so sorry you are enduring this. It is so hard.   

Last time I saw my ex he was all over the map too. Lots of projection and anger and blaming. I used SET and it worked well. Every time he started in about how hard his life is now (money problems etc) I just listened and said yup thats tough. I did not offer solutions or help. He is 43 and earns 80 000 a years. His circus his monkeys. He made his bed of problems and is an adult he can unmake it.

Stay strong. Think clearly about what you want out of the meeting. Review the tools here and remember not your circus not your monkeys. Everytime we help them we hurt them. Every time we fix their problems we just enable the to create the same problem over again.

Ok well thinking of you as you meet today. Keep us posted. 

[rockhardabsman]

Well I noticed a missed call from her around midnight on my phone. I called her this morning she seemed pretty pleasant, I just told her i would be at her grandmas at 4 after her work.

Still bugs me she kept trying to rub in this guy she met at a bar, which is funny she's an alcoholic sounds like a great place to meet someone. "And hes hot... .I mean your hot too"... Ehhh just gotta keep my head up, it's just a jealousy play.

Another thing she said that stuck out in my mind "I dont miss the sex, i just miss you" dont know what to make of that.