100% NC is difficult...

[Depression = 72% of members]

Why is this so dam difficult to go NC with the BPD.?... I can't believe how hard this has been on me.I have lost 24 LBS,i go to therapy once a week and I just feel like crap.

I was discarded and abandoned 4 weeks ago.Prior to that I was the greatest man ever.I am floating in and out of my own reality of what the hell is and was true or false.

I am angry,rageful,feel betrayed,long for her return,feel used,abused and conned.I feel revenge,hate,tears and a lot of pain.I can't believe this has happened to me.She seemed so REAL and in the end it was my nightmare when she disappeared.No compassion,no empathy.

She Tossed me away while i was at work like i was GARBAGE.Two days prior she was telling me how much she was in love with me while we made love.I am just not the same man that was so happy and full of life before I met her.

Not even sure what reality is anymore.This type of person is mind boggling.I hate to say this but I NEED HELP AND ALL THE SUPPORT I CAN GET.

[NYMike]

Why is this so dam difficult to go NC with the BPD.?... I can't believe how hard this has been on me.I have lost 24 LBS,i go to therapy once a week and I just feel like crap.

I was discarded and abandoned 4 weeks ago.Prior to that I was the greatest man ever.I am floating in and out of my own reality of what the hell is and was true or false.

I am angry,rageful,feel betrayed,long for her return,feel used,abused and conned.I feel revenge,hate,tears and a lot of pain.I can't believe this has happened to me.She seemed so REAL and in the end it was my nightmare when she disappeared.No compassion,no empathy.

She Tossed me away while i was at work like i was GARBAGE.Two days prior she was telling me how much she was in love with me while we made love.I am just not the same man that was so happy and full of life before I met her.

Not even sure what reality is anymore.This type of person is mind boggling.I hate to say this but I NEED HELP AND ALL THE SUPPORT I CAN GET.

[H Hi]

Hang in there! It's so hard. Remember the behaviours were all true and how she was at the end of the relationship is how she really is.

I'm sorry but they manipulate to fill a need. Mine did and she always used to say "I'm in love with you" if you think about it that is very different to saying "I love you". They are lost and damaged children in an adults body. They were in love and we're infatuated. Adult love is mutual care, interest and respect.

It's horrible and i feel for you. I'm 3 weeks out and most days I feel suicidal. I've lost weight as well. I used to be able to bench heavy weights and now I'm scared of my own shadow.

Try to take it easy on yourself. Relax and enjoy the fact that you are out of the chaos and rollercoaster. The fog will lift and you will see what was real. Take small steps and put you first. Start trying to get some structure and to eat properly. We will get over this, one day at a time.

You are NOT garbage. She made you feel like that. A kind balanced caring person would not make you feel like that.

Stay positive

[guy4caligirl]

Hi you are in shock right now , things are very hard I am out 5 months RS 5 years and I still feel bad ,

You are Not alone please read we are all in the same boat , we all hurt , they are the worth people to deal with , no empathy no honor no nothing , am animal wont hurt another animal the way they did us hang in there bro !

[Jmanster]

I recommend hypnosis man... .Thank god my mom is a hypnotherapist and she was able to get me to 90% in 3 sessions. I have one more to go... .But another way of letting her go is writing, poetry helps me heal and I really recommend doing it. ALWAYS express your feelings! This is the difference between us and borderlines... .Borderlines cannot properly conduct themselves with emotions... .figuring them out is like trying to solve a rubix cube that is fighting back... .Don't let her twist you! Good luck my friend And keep us all updated, we are all family here

[Mutt]

 

Hi NYMike,

Copy that.

Emotionally detaching is hard. Staying emotionally attached leads to suffering. Vent your anger here on the boards. Write a journal. Work it out at the gym.

This will subside.

Hang in there.


--Mutt

[Splitblack4good]

I recommend hypnosis man... .Thank god my mom is a hypnotherapist and she was able to get me to 90% in 3 sessions. I have one more to go... .But another way of letting her go is writing, poetry helps me heal and I really recommend doing it. ALWAYS express your feelings! This is the difference between us and borderlines... .Borderlines cannot properly conduct themselves with emotions... .figuring them out is like trying to solve a rubix cube that is fighting back... .Don't let her twist you! Good luck my friend And keep us all updated, we are all family here

love the whole Rubix cube fighting back ! Good way of describing how difficult and frustraighting they are ! I'm 4 weeks out now and lost weight to Id been struggling to maintain my weight (I'm a healthy size) but needed to loose a few pounds only but couldn't then you split up from a borderline and the weight just drops off ! I still can't beleive I went into depression over her just not worth it but you can't help but miss em ! Hang in ther fellas I feel the pain from the crazy train !

[Rifka]

Hi and ny Mike,

I'm four months off of the crazy train with my exdBPDbf. I will tell you both that what you are feeling is completely how I felt when I came here in August. I felt destroyed, cried my eyes out with my every post here. I posted and posted and posted some more. The help and support here is priceless and the people are wonderful.

N/c is hard as hell, but something we set in place for us to be able to step back and look at what has happened a bit clearer. It is a minute to minute emotional back and forth. Questions that are really had to understand until you put the work in to learn and understand. Your answers are here, you just have to read and post and read some more.

Time will make it less and less confusing once you focus on you.

I have no problem with no contact anymore, no temptations for anything about him anymore, now it's about me only. One day it will be about you only and the sun will shine brighter again and it will be easier.

Right now it's very new and you are both raw and your hearts ripped apart. We really were there too. It does get easier, it just takes time.

Hugs to you both. You are with people who totally understand. Keep posting, it really helps the healing.

Rifka

[NYMike]

Hi NYMike,

Copy that.

Emotionally detaching is hard. Staying emotionally attached leads to suffering. Vent your anger here on the boards. Write a journal. Work it out at the gym.

This will subside.

Hang in there.


--Mutt

Yes.!... .Caring so deeply about her and her daughter has destroyed ME.!... It's like the more I repaired her life and loved her,the more she HATED ME and went back to her old life of abusive men and poverty...

Love and Caring got me in this mess.It's almost like I have to stay ANGRY at her to Detach.

[Ayreana]

Hello NYMike,

I know exactly how you feel.

My partner just left me, less then a week ago. Deep down, I saw it coming. He was withdrawn and didn't say to much. This is the third time he left me, and again I am completely crushed and broken. How do you move forward from this, I really have no clue. Can't sleep, I can't eat and I don't feel like doing anything. i feel like a zombie.

Last time he left, I tryed contacting him but i was completely ignored, but after 2 weeks he was back. This time i am not contacting him, I erased out of my telephone Facebook everything. He doesn't care right now how I am doing. He is to busy with other women. That makes me so angry and soo sad.

I went to a councelor last week and going again this week. I am trying to keep it together but it is hard, very hard. I also have a son (not his) he is also feeling very down about this.

I hate feeling this way and nog being abel to function. I am even on sickleave from my job.

I am the one now who is having help from a councelor, but in fact he should be doing something about it.

During our relationship, I often suggest for him to get help, but he allways refused.

Keep me posted how you are doing, it is allway good to talk to people who are experiencing the same thing.

I don't have much support here, only from my sister but I don't want to bother her to much with my problems.

Take care

Ayreana

[Left broken and confused]

Hi NYMike

I think you put into words everything I am feeling tonight so thank you.  It's sad to say but I'm 5 months out but only know I was out for 3 months when I saw him and my replacement on fb. :'(

[Infared]

Hi NY Mike

Yes... you sound like you are being emotionally drawn and quartered just like I was. I lost 30 pounds and did not sleep for months. It was just so abrupt and cruel. I understand exactly how you feel.

H Hi Said:

"I'm sorry but they manipulate to fill a need. Mine did and she always used to say "I'm in love with you" if you think about it that is very different to saying "I love you". They are lost and damaged children in an adults body. They were in love and were infatuated. Adult love is mutual care, interest and respect."

Mine said after she left: "I love you infared, I'm just not 'in love' with you".  That is so 6th grade coming from a grown adult?

We are dealing with extreme selfishness and extreme emotional immaturity. Please know that these people are very sick and staying away from them is the only way to save you.

Mike, just keep talking about your feelings and coming here... .it's painful, but you can work your way through this to the other side.

[downwhim]

Mike, I am two months out and am so grateful to have this site. I have lost weight too and spend 5 days a week at the gym. My heart is heavy but it does get better. You are in the raw stage... We are all here for support, to share our stories and to get through this together.

First of all, you are not garbage. The closer you get to the borderline the farther they want to be away. It scares them to get too close so they need to run away and grab on to a replacement. Sick, I know but that is what they do. I was engaged to mine and he started cheating, lying asking me to move in one day and emailing me the next that the engagement is over and we are done.

Like you, I was called names, the c word, told I was worthless, old (we are the same age), he told me to find someone else to dote on me.

I loved and supported him through 5 surgeries, treated his kids well, helped him remodel his home, cooked, took him to fun, social events (he has no friends). But, I was worthless. Their words mean nothing. Look at their actions. Take care of yourself and keep reading here and posting.

[mitchell16]

yes its very hard to do. But its the only way to rid them of your life. Last year me and my ex split. stayed apart for 8 months of so. During that time we had LC. I could never fully move, she did but i stayed stuck. We recycled and it was mostley becuase I never deatched from her. at the end of the reycle she dumped me on my head and left me once more. She attempted a recycle this time and I shut it down. I went NC and I stuck to it I havent responded to a thing in about 4 months. Im alot better, I no longer want her back or care what she is doing. She still tries, about once a week I get a text or phone call but I just simply ignore. They are kinda like quitting smoking. quitting cold turkey is hard but in the end the withdraw is shorter then trying to wean youself off. In my opiion anyway.

[hope2727]

Jmamster. I have wondered about hypnosis. I so want to feel better. I see a psychologist who specializes in BPD but I am still grieving 7 months out. I am NC. I blociked him everywhere. I lost my friends so made some new ones. Some old ones have drifted back. We agree not to discuss him. EVER.

Still I wake up sobbing all night long. I have nightmares where he has come home and I wake up looking for him. Last night I dreamt we were making love and I stopped looked him In the eyes and punched him. Not healthy and certainly not who I want to be.

I keep wondering if hypnosis would help. Or would that just be shoving my emotions Down rather than living them. Opinions?

[Jmanster]

Hi hope, sorry for the late reply! Yes the hypnosis works, but only if you want it to. The secret behind it is the breathing. So it takes a lot of patience. I have had 4 sessions which focused on overcoming the love for her. So I stopped loving her. I have one more session to go and this will seal everything. I can't stress enough how much work it is just to get over these relationships. I almost started crying today out of no where thinking about the ex! Then I came to this site and felt way better. Now I feel very confident that in a week or so time I will be completely healed. Let me state that my relationship was only five months long... .Five months of hell that led me to having 3 mental breakdowns and countless anxiety attacks. Even after the break up we had a friends with benefits phase for about 4 months which also gave me breakdown and anxiety attacks. The hypnosis really helped with the anxiety, but I think this site has also saved me... .Without this site only God know what I would've done... .I probably would be on her doorstep sobbing and pleading her to take me back... .But I refused to pick up my phone to call her, instead, I came on this site, wrote about how I felt and after I put my phone down and felt so at ease... .But overall, I would also really recommend hypnosis, it not only has you overcome the "love" or infatuation for the person, but it also puts your mind at ease

[fred6]

Mike, hang in there bro. In time it will get better. The abrupt nature of these splits is what is the hardest part. I'm still struggling with this mess myself. Just be easy on yourself, take it slow, and you will be OK.

Mine said after she left: "I love you infared, I'm just not 'in love' with you".  That is so 6th grade coming from a grown adult?

When a person says that, it's usually a sign that they are cheating or found someone else that they have emotionally invested themselves in. Big red flag. But usually by the time you hear that phrase it's more than likely too late to do anything about it. My ex said the exact same thing along with quite a few other "silly" reasons to split from me. She really had no real reasons, just made up some insignificant issues to justify her own hurtful behavior. 

[Infared]

Mike, hang in there bro. In time it will get better. The abrupt nature of these splits is what is the hardest part. I'm still struggling with this mess myself. Just be easy on yourself, take it slow, and you will be OK.

Mine said after she left: "I love you infared, I'm just not 'in love' with you".  That is so 6th grade coming from a grown adult?

When a person says that, it's usually a sign that they are cheating or found someone else that they have emotionally invested themselves in. Big red flag. But usually by the time you hear that phrase it's more than likely too late to do anything about it. My ex said the exact same thing along with quite a few other "silly" reasons to split from me. She really had no real reasons, just made up some insignificant issues to justify her own hurtful behavior.  

Oh yes... .yes... she was already with new supply (denying it of course). The new drug had taken full effect and she was safe and had the power to abuse me. She was so smug and looking back I can see she was enjoying what she was doing.  Of course it was too late for me to do anything about it. (Hell... .I had no idea about this disease and was just in pain and trying to figure out what was going on). I had no chance or any say in the matter from day one. Knowing this helps... .but it is still the most painful thing I have ever been through in my life.

The actions and the thinking from this person is childlike. There is no accountability or self awareness. They are sick and just think of themselves and their immediate needs and how to get them. Lie, cheat or steal.

[oortcloud]

Stay strong. I am 5 months post discard, and I still have bad days where I feel utterly alone, confused, and abandoned. I don't understand how someone can have ZERO empathy and ZERO remorse for leaving you completely stranded, as if you never meant a thing.

NC is the most difficult thing I've had to do, especially with social media. I couldn't do it, so I did the opposite: had to allow myself to check on my ex all the time, and after a while of seeing her smearing me online, I grew more aware and disgusted and tired myself out. And slowly I began to check less and less.

[Mr.Downtrodden]

I am 18 months out of r/s, but tried to remain friends - she abandoned me immediately after kicking me to the curb (she'd been totally exposed by then).  4 months later she e-mailed me, depressed that all of her friends had abandoned her since they found out she was pregnant. She also said that being pregnant didn't stop her 'male friends' from showing an interest in her.  Yet, I caved anyway, like i always did, despite the lying, cheating and getting pregnant by a one night stand while we were supposedly together. When we finally met again this past summer, I experienced the ful circle of emotions under the spell of a BPD girl - the highest of highs immediately followed by the lowest of lows.  Nearly traumatic.  She again apologized for her impulsive actions that night the next morning, saying she "owed me".  Hmm, right.

Only a quick e-mail after refusing my call days later to check in on her, saying she didn't feel like chatting, and implied via short, cursory wording, that she was aggravated about having to fix things.  Like she turned the blame for the action on me.  A few weeks later, she is enjoying a vacation, as if nothing happened.  That was it for me.  a little too late, of course, but it was my own fault.  Behavior doesn't really change. i have been NC for 4 months. No social media even for me now, i just walled myself away.  Very hard with the holiday forthcoming.  I still miss her terribly, and cry every so often, mainly for being duped, and played like a violin.  

But I am just beginning to feel like I am in control now.  That makes me a bit proud.

[NYMike]

I received 3 texts last night and I am trying to stay strong.She texted me and abused me and said I need a mental hospital and I am mentally ill.She said I destroyed this relationship 100% my fault.

I want soo bad to defend my honor and strike back.I am not those things at all.I loved this woman endlessly and respected her every wish.

Where do they come up with this CRAP.!... It is so hard to hear this and very painful...

[Mr.Downtrodden]

I received 3 texts last night and I am trying to stay strong.She texted me and abused me and said I need a mental hospital and I am mentally ill.She said I destroyed this relationship 100% my fault.

I want soo bad to defend my honor and strike back.I am not those things at all.I loved this woman endlessly and respected her every wish.

Where do they come up with this CRAP.!... It is so hard to hear this and very painful...

A textbook example of deflection, of course, she's really telling you it was HER fault, 100%.

you gotta delete every message, block her # change yours - do it!

The strongest response that resonates - NONE.

I am lucky that my ex has not attempted to contact me in 4 months (always had another guy warming up in the bullpen), but if history repeats itself, she will, eventually.

And by then, I won't care.

[NYMike]

I received 3 texts last night and I am trying to stay strong.She texted me and abused me and said I need a mental hospital and I am mentally ill.She said I destroyed this relationship 100% my fault.

I want soo bad to defend my honor and strike back.I am not those things at all.I loved this woman endlessly and respected her every wish.

Where do they come up with this CRAP.!... It is so hard to hear this and very painful...

A textbook example of deflection, of course, she's really telling you it was HER fault, 100%.

you gotta delete every message, block her # change yours - do it!

The strongest response that resonates - NONE.

I am lucky that my ex has not attempted to contact me in 4 months (always had another guy warming up in the bullpen), but if history repeats itself, she will, eventually.

And by then, I won't care.

This is killing me to not respond to this and defend my character.I just don't understand why this assault of me and making lies about me.This stuff is not true.Only in her dillusional mind.

[hope2727]

Defend your character here instead. She can't hear you. Your defense will fall on empty ears. You can't reason with a broken brain. 

We know you are honorable. We all are. We did out best to love and honor them. They didn't recognize it or know how to reciprocate.

I love my ex. I miss him. But he called me Names and did things to me no one should do to someone they love. He is telling everyone how horrible I am and they believe him. No point in even trying to argue. Can't reason with a broken brain.

So tell us. Defend your self here. We understand.

I listened to mine. I held him while he sobbed. I helped him financially. I shared my home and my heart and my family with him. I gave and compromised and tried and tried and tried. It was never enough. It was hopeless. In the end I was a "lying manipulative (insert horrible word here)". Forget reasoning with her. Breathe and find some peace.

Hugs.

[whythisgirl]

Can't reason with a broken brain.

I like that statement! I need to keep that saved in the back of my mind if my ex and I cross paths again.

[NYMike]

Defend your character here instead. She can't hear you. Your defense will fall on empty ears. You can't reason with a broken brain.  

We know you are honorable. We all are. We did out best to love and honor them. They didn't recognize it or know how to reciprocate.

I love my ex. I miss him. But he called me Names and did things to me no one should do to someone they love. He is telling everyone how horrible I am and they believe him. No point in even trying to argue. Can't reason with a broken brain.

So tell us. Defend your self here. We understand.

I listened to mine. I held him while he sobbed. I helped him financially. I shared my home and my heart and my family with him. I gave and compromised and tried and tried and tried. It was never enough. It was hopeless. In the end I was a "lying manipulative (insert horrible word here)". Forget reasoning with her. Breathe and find some peace.

Hugs.

Thank You.I am an honorable man.I loved her and our puppie in a very very special way.I held her as she cryed and was very very sensitive to her needs.

I cuddled her and made sweet sensitive love to her unlike her past boyfriends who treated her bad in the bedroom.I brought romance and candles to the bedroom.I was very soft and loving to her in that way.

I cooked dinner every night and rubbed her feet every night.I massaged her every night and even got up to give her water in the middle of the night.I packed a nice lunch everyday for her work and started her car.

The list goes on and on but WHY DO I SIT HERE AND BEAT MYSELF UP LIKE I AM THIS MONSTER.?... Why am I killing myself here with self blame and somehow I am a bad person.?... .WHY do I give her so much power to destroy me and take her insults personal and to the heart.People say I was the best thing that ever happened to her.

Today I cryed so hard because I can't believe she believes all this ''bad'' stuff about me and makes me out to be a MONSTER and MENTALLY ILL...

[oortcloud]

Defend your character here instead. She can't hear you. Your defense will fall on empty ears. You can't reason with a broken brain.  

We know you are honorable. We all are. We did out best to love and honor them. They didn't recognize it or know how to reciprocate.

I love my ex. I miss him. But he called me Names and did things to me no one should do to someone they love. He is telling everyone how horrible I am and they believe him. No point in even trying to argue. Can't reason with a broken brain.

So tell us. Defend your self here. We understand.

I listened to mine. I held him while he sobbed. I helped him financially. I shared my home and my heart and my family with him. I gave and compromised and tried and tried and tried. It was never enough. It was hopeless. In the end I was a "lying manipulative (insert horrible word here)". Forget reasoning with her. Breathe and find some peace.

Hugs.

Thank You.I am an honorable man.I loved her and our puppie in a very very special way.I held her as she cryed and was very very sensitive to her needs.

I cuddled her and made sweet sensitive love to her unlike her past boyfriends who treated her bad in the bedroom.I brought romance and candles to the bedroom.I was very soft and loving to her in that way.

I cooked dinner every night and rubbed her feet every night.I massaged her every night and even got up to give her water in the middle of the night.I packed a nice lunch everyday for her work and started her car.

The list goes on and on but WHY DO I SIT HERE AND BEAT MYSELF UP LIKE I AM THIS MONSTER.?... Why am I killing myself here with self blame and somehow I am a bad person.?... .WHY do I give her so much power to destroy me and take her insults personal and to the heart.People say I was the best thing that ever happened to her.

Today I cryed so hard because I can't believe she believes all this ''bad'' stuff about me and makes me out to be a MONSTER and MENTALLY ILL...

I know exactly how you feel NYMike. Find comfort in the fact that you're not alone. We are all experiencing the same emotions, some of us at different stages of healing, but it's so empowering to find a community that understands what each of us is going through! I feel like what you and hope2727 wrote may as well have been written by me. We're all in this together.   

[willtimeheal]

Defend your character here instead. She can't hear you. Your defense will fall on empty ears. You can't reason with a broken brain.  

We know you are honorable. We all are. We did out best to love and honor them. They didn't recognize it or know how to reciprocate.

I love my ex. I miss him. But he called me Names and did things to me no one should do to someone they love. He is telling everyone how horrible I am and they believe him. No point in even trying to argue. Can't reason with a broken brain.

So tell us. Defend your self here. We understand.

I listened to mine. I held him while he sobbed. I helped him financially. I shared my home and my heart and my family with him. I gave and compromised and tried and tried and tried. It was never enough. It was hopeless. In the end I was a "lying manipulative (insert horrible word here)". Forget reasoning with her. Breathe and find some peace.

Hugs.

Thank You.I am an honorable man.I loved her and our puppie in a very very special way.I held her as she cryed and was very very sensitive to her needs.

I cuddled her and made sweet sensitive love to her unlike her past boyfriends who treated her bad in the bedroom.I brought romance and candles to the bedroom.I was very soft and loving to her in that way.

I cooked dinner every night and rubbed her feet every night.I massaged her every night and even got up to give her water in the middle of the night.I packed a nice lunch everyday for her work and started her car.

The list goes on and on but WHY DO I SIT HERE AND BEAT MYSELF UP LIKE I AM THIS MONSTER.?... Why am I killing myself here with self blame and somehow I am a bad person.?... .WHY do I give her so much power to destroy me and take her insults personal and to the heart.People say I was the best thing that ever happened to her.

Today I cryed so hard because I can't believe she believes all this ''bad'' stuff about me and makes me out to be a MONSTER and MENTALLY ILL...

A BPD is very good at twisting and distorting facts. They have this incredible way of making us nons feel like we are the problem. We cast doubt on ourselves and question ourselves when we know better. I am four months post break up and three months NC. My ex BPDgf was brutal with making me out to be the most horrible person in the world. The fact is I treated her like a queen. I made sure she had everything she needed and was loved.

She has to believe all this made up bad stuff about you. It is how she survives. If she were ever to feel her guilt and shame instead of projecting it on to you she would probably explode. A BPD is a monster... .a monster that has so many unresolved issues... .It has nothing to do with you. They are incapable of being happy. They can't handle  others being happy so they drag them down too. I can honestly say my exBPDgf was really just a mean person. She was full of hate... .

[hope2727]

NYMike,

You sound wonderful. I am sure you are. I would appreciate someone like you in my life. She could not. She is broken. You are not. You are injured, wounded, shattered, but you will heal. She will not. She is broken and always has been. Forgive her. Then forget her.

You can defend yourself here. She cannot hear you. She can only hear the raging screaming child in her head telling her she is useless and shameful. If she listens to that voice she will go completely mad so she has to project all its words out of herself onto you. She is wrong. You are right.

Cry, yell, stamp your feet, punch a wall then let it go. She is broken and can't be fixed by anyone but her. You are injured but you will heal. Your heart will bear scars but you will move on and life a happy successful life. Be grateful that this is a possibility for you.

Now when I come here and cry the blues and say that I want to call mine kick my ass and tell me to get a grip and repeat some of this stuff to me pls. Thank you.

Ok have to get some sleep as I am on day 21 of straight work days and have at least 14 more to go before I get a day off. This is the financial mess I let myself get into with this ex of mine. He is off  having a grand old time with the replacement and I am working 7 days a week. Silly me for believing in people. My next date had better have a resume, STD panel, psych report, credit report and references from 3 past girlfriends. hugs and good night to you all.

[pur3101011]

Hang in there nymike! My exBPDgf dumped me last weekend and it still hasn't hit me to be quite frank. One day we are having a great time and the next, all my stuff from her place is back at my parents and she wouldn't even talk to me. Next day she want's to be friends and is acting cordial with me while I'm pissed and grumpy at her. It's impossible to have an adult conversation with someone that has the mindset of a 5 year old. I'm just lucky enough to know she told me she had BPD before the break up so I knew where to get closure from... .(it sure as heck wasn't going to come from her) if it wasn't for knowing about BPD I wouldn't know what to do with myself.

[downwhim]

"I love my ex. I miss him. But he called me Names and did things to me no one should do to someone they love. He is telling everyone how horrible I am and they believe him. No point in even trying to argue. Can't reason with a broken brain."

This is so well said, thank you.