Went snooping and saw what I didn't want to see.

[Xidion]

I'm an idiot. I went snooping around on instagram and saw my replacements instagram with a picture of the ex and him together with the caption "Yeah we're def cute". 5 weeks post b/u and she's with the guy she left me for like I never existed. Ugh.

[MrConfusedWithItAll]

I'm an idiot. I went snooping around on instagram and saw my replacements instagram with a picture of the ex and him together with the caption "Yeah we're def cute". 5 weeks post b/u and she's with the guy she left me for like I never existed. Ugh.

Lucky you and poor him.  You now know the legacy that awaits him when her disorder kicks in.  Now is the time to turn away and look within.  The days will be difficult but NC will be your best friend. Good luck Xidion and always remember you are way better off out of that rs.

[Deeno02]

Yep... .thats why I dont bother looking. Ive blocked and deleted all that I could block and delete. Get back on the horse dude... .

[neverloveagain]

Your not the first    hurts like hell no?. I removed myself from social media and blocked my ex from everything, if you want to be free shut all the doors. They aint worth worrying about theve drawn the lines theres nothing you could of done to change the ending. They are just playingbthe same record with someone else. The dance is always the same. Look after yourself and dont kick yourself we have all done it.

[rockgirl]

Sorry! It hurts so much when we feel discarded and easily replaced. It's hard to realize that it's not us... .they are trying to fill a void with whomever will stroke their ego. Her BPD will surface and then the grass may not be so green! Bpd persons latch on quickly and strongly, then push away.   They're masking their emptiness by attempting to externally fulfill it, but it never works. The emptiness is internal and it is deep and no one can fill it but themselves!

Likely the new person will be discarded soon, and she may run back to you for comfort. Stay strong and decide how you'll handle it. In the meantime, stop looking b/c it's torture. Take care of yourself and reach out as much as you need. Hope things get better.

[fred6]

Xidion, right now you don't exist in her mind. Let that burn in deeply. She is probably 110% focused on "trying" to make yet another one of her relationships work out. Also, she probably already knows deep down that it won't work out in the long run. I know this probably won't make you feel better about it, but most of us here don't exist to our ex's. They have found the next BBD and we are not on the agenda for them at this point in time. Take care of yourself

[Splitblack4good]

Sorry! It hurts so much when we feel discarded and easily replaced. It's hard to realize that it's not us... .they are trying to fill a void with whomever will stroke their ego. Her BPD will surface and then the grass may not be so green! Bpd persons latch on quickly and strongly, then push away.   They're masking their emptiness by attempting to externally fulfill it, but it never works. The emptiness is internal and it is deep and no one can fill it but themselves!

Likely the new person will be discarded soon, and she may run back to you for comfort. Stay strong and decide how you'll handle it. In the meantime, stop looking b/c it's torture. Take care of yourself and reach out as much as you need. Hope things get better.

[/quot

Yep ! The crazy can not stay within them for long In front of a new partner I also beleive the more relationships they have and the quicker they leap from one to the other it also messes ther head up even more as they do remember who you are and try hard to block out ther shame and guilt but can't and within 3/4 months I know my replacement is gona see the crazy come out in small doses to start with them lots of crazy ! I'm gona sit back and watch !

[Turkish]

It happens. I clicked on my Ex's name when I saw that her sister tagged her and the other siblings in a post. Usually it pops up blank. For some reason, I saw a tiny profile pic of her and The Home-wrecker. I'm reminding myself to not do that again. Curiosity killed the rat.

[evilpepsi]

I'm an idiot. I went snooping around on instagram and saw my replacements instagram with a picture of the ex and him together with the caption "Yeah we're def cute". 5 weeks post b/u and she's with the guy she left me for like I never existed. Ugh.

bro, I just spent this entire weekend dealing with her and the idiot narcissist. narc kept trying to act tough until I popped his frail ego a few times and then he resorted to "name the time and place" and when I did, he stopped texting. I woke up the next morning to the same stuff. I laughed and popped his ego again. same outcome-"time and place... ." once again I named it, and he finally said "I don't have time to mess with you" and then vanished for a couple of hours. their return was pretty acidic, with her sending me pics of the two of them together and me laughing at both of them. i know this is wrong to do, but i had to put him in his place and send him pics of women that i dated in the past and rubbed his face in it. he kept pushing, so i started in on his frail ego again. this resulted in death threats from both of them. i laughed and narc said "if you go to the cops then ill make you vanish." i laughed and asked him "are you a freaking magician? can you send me somewhere close to a beach?" it got out of hand, so i had to be the rational one and tell them both to stop. Monday morning i wake up to calls from him saying that i need to be prepared because he is on the way to my house. i laughed and went back to sleep. he never showed.

be thankful for no contact... .

[Mutt]

bro, I just spent this entire weekend dealing with her and the idiot narcissist. narc kept trying to act tough until I popped his frail ego a few times and then he resorted to "name the time and place" and when I did, he stopped texting. I woke up the next morning to the same stuff. I laughed and popped his ego again. same outcome-"time and place... ." once again I named it, and he finally said "I don't have time to mess with you" and then vanished for a couple of hours. their return was pretty acidic, with her sending me pics of the two of them together and me laughing at both of them. i know this is wrong to do, but i had to put him in his place and send him pics of women that i dated in the past and rubbed his face in it. he kept pushing, so i started in on his frail ego again. this resulted in death threats from both of them. i laughed and narc said "if you go to the cops then ill make you vanish." i laughed and asked him "are you a freaking magician? can you send me somewhere close to a beach?" it got out of hand, so i had to be the rational one and tell them both to stop. Monday morning i wake up to calls from him saying that i need to be prepared because he is on the way to my house. i laughed and went back to sleep. he never showed.

be thankful for no contact... .

We all get angry from time to time evilpepsi. Read my early posts about the other guy. Anger serves a purpose.

My advice. Take the high road. He doesn't have a strong sense of self.

I'm an idiot. I went snooping around on instagram and saw my replacements instagram with a picture of the ex and him together with the caption "Yeah we're def cute". 5 weeks post b/u and she's with the guy she left me for like I never existed. Ugh.

Lucky you and poor him.  You now know the legacy that awaits him when her disorder kicks in.  Now is the time to turn away and look within.  The days will be difficult but NC will be your best friend. Good luck Xidion and always remember you are way better off out of that rs.

Xidion.

I have to agree with MrConfusedWithItAll there'll be a day you'll feel sorry for him. My replacement took a problem off of my hands. He keeps the chaos away and I can tend to the kids without her blasting me everyday. Doing the parenting work and raising them in a non-dysfunctional environment and fostering their emotional health and needs.

I understand seeing the replacement is tough. There is a silver lining. Don't be hard on yourself. We're all curious.

[evilpepsi]

[/quote]
We all get angry from time to time evilpepsi. Read my early posts about the other guy. Anger serves a purpose.

My advice. Take the high road. He doesn't have a strong sense of self.

hes going to end up with a strong sense of pain if he comes around me, especially if i have my son with me... .

[Mutt]

hes going to end up with a strong sense of pain if he comes around me, especially if i have my son with me... .

Your choice. I don't know of anything more painful than what my replacement is going to go through. BPD is tougher than me  

[evilpepsi]

hes going to end up with a strong sense of pain if he comes around me, especially if i have my son with me... .

Your choice. I don't know of anything more painful than what my replacement is going to go through. BPD is tougher than me  


--Mutt

i meant if he actually tries to follow through and get in my face. i doubt that he will though. im too big and male. he prefers to fight tiny women... .

[Mutt]

hes going to end up with a strong sense of pain if he comes around me, especially if i have my son with me... .

Your choice. I don't know of anything more painful than what my replacement is going to go through. BPD is tougher than me  


--Mutt

i meant if he actually tries to follow through and get in my face. i doubt that he will though. im too big and male. he prefers to fight tiny women... .

I understand. Defending yourself is different. Work this out in the gym. It's incredibly hard when your triangulated. It takes time to work out the anger. My point is don't let the anger consume you. It's not worth doing that to yourself to anyone here.

We've all suffered enough. My replacement was a home-wrecker too. You stick your hand in the fire. You're gonna get burned.

[evilpepsi]

hes going to end up with a strong sense of pain if he comes around me, especially if i have my son with me... .

Your choice. I don't know of anything more painful than what my replacement is going to go through. BPD is tougher than me  


--Mutt

i know. none of it is worth going to jail over. at least not to me. he may feel that she is, but she is easy to replace in my world... .

i meant if he actually tries to follow through and get in my face. i doubt that he will though. im too big and male. he prefers to fight tiny women... .

I understand. Defending yourself is different. Work this out in the gym. It's incredibly hard when your triangulated. It takes time to work out the anger. My point is don't let the anger consume you. It's not worth doing that to yourself to anyone here.

We've all suffered enough.

[Xidion]

I'm an idiot. I went snooping around on instagram and saw my replacements instagram with a picture of the ex and him together with the caption "Yeah we're def cute". 5 weeks post b/u and she's with the guy she left me for like I never existed. Ugh.

bro, I just spent this entire weekend dealing with her and the idiot narcissist. narc kept trying to act tough until I popped his frail ego a few times and then he resorted to "name the time and place" and when I did, he stopped texting. I woke up the next morning to the same stuff. I laughed and popped his ego again. same outcome-"time and place... ." once again I named it, and he finally said "I don't have time to mess with you" and then vanished for a couple of hours. their return was pretty acidic, with her sending me pics of the two of them together and me laughing at both of them. i know this is wrong to do, but i had to put him in his place and send him pics of women that i dated in the past and rubbed his face in it. he kept pushing, so i started in on his frail ego again. this resulted in death threats from both of them. i laughed and narc said "if you go to the cops then ill make you vanish." i laughed and asked him "are you a freaking magician? can you send me somewhere close to a beach?" it got out of hand, so i had to be the rational one and tell them both to stop. Monday morning i wake up to calls from him saying that i need to be prepared because he is on the way to my house. i laughed and went back to sleep. he never showed.

be thankful for no contact... .

That's crazy man. Don't do anything irrational.  She was going to bring him here when she was getting her things. I told her it wouldn't be good for his health. She knows me well so she didn't show up with him. I'm slowly realizing that he took a problem off of my shoulders. Even if it still stings a bit.

[Xidion]

Mutt, I'm not sure I will ever feel sorry for him. By the time her disorder kicks in and ruins them, I will be completely indifferent and not care at all. That's my goal anyhow, so when she tries to re engage I can tell her to shove it.

[evilpepsi]

I'm an idiot. I went snooping around on instagram and saw my replacements instagram with a picture of the ex and him together with the caption "Yeah we're def cute". 5 weeks post b/u and she's with the guy she left me for like I never existed. Ugh.

bro, I just spent this entire weekend dealing with her and the idiot narcissist. narc kept trying to act tough until I popped his frail ego a few times and then he resorted to "name the time and place" and when I did, he stopped texting. I woke up the next morning to the same stuff. I laughed and popped his ego again. same outcome-"time and place... ." once again I named it, and he finally said "I don't have time to mess with you" and then vanished for a couple of hours. their return was pretty acidic, with her sending me pics of the two of them together and me laughing at both of them. i know this is wrong to do, but i had to put him in his place and send him pics of women that i dated in the past and rubbed his face in it. he kept pushing, so i started in on his frail ego again. this resulted in death threats from both of them. i laughed and narc said "if you go to the cops then ill make you vanish." i laughed and asked him "are you a freaking magician? can you send me somewhere close to a beach?" it got out of hand, so i had to be the rational one and tell them both to stop. Monday morning i wake up to calls from him saying that i need to be prepared because he is on the way to my house. i laughed and went back to sleep. he never showed.

be thankful for no contact... .

That's crazy man. Don't do anything irrational.  She was going to bring him here when she was getting her things. I told her it wouldn't be good for his health. She knows me well so she didn't show up with him. I'm slowly realizing that he took a problem off of my shoulders. Even if it still stings a bit.

feels like deja vu. she actually expected me to let him come help her move. i had to deal with this guy insulting her for six months and then suddenly he is the greatest thing? that would have been hazardous... .

[Xidion]

BPD obviously have no standard. My friends that are female can't believe how ugly he is... and she is a beautiful girl. I was told he's an upgrade. Hilarious.  It's sad that they just want attention, no matter what form it comes in.

[evilpepsi]

BPD obviously have no standard. My friends that are female can't believe how ugly he is... and she is a beautiful girl. I was told he's an upgrade. Hilarious.  It's sad that they just want attention, no matter what form it comes in.

here are the differences in the two of us:

me: 6'5 240 hair (hahaha) don't drink, don't smoke, eat clean. smart. musician.

narcboy: 6'3 170 (its on his arrest record, haha) bald, drinks, smokes, very unintelligent, a slob, doesn't care about his health, etc... .

its like they flip to polar opposites... .

[Mutt]

Mutt, I'm not sure I will ever feel sorry for him. By the time her disorder kicks in and ruins them, I will be completely indifferent and not care at all. That's my goal anyhow, so when she tries to re engage I can tell her to shove it.

A good goal.

Indifference. I'd like to add. Emotionally detach from her actions and words. My exes exBF has a D with her.

15 years later the man still fights and gets worked up because of her.

I didn't want to suffer like him.

Get busy living or get busy dying.

[peiper]

As a consolation,  the new relationship she has will not turn out any better. A leopard can't change her spots. The new guy is going to shake his head all of a sudden wondering what the hell happened.

[Xidion]

As a consolation,  the new relationship she has will not turn out any better. A leopard can't change her spots. The new guy is going to shake his head all of a sudden wondering what the hell happened.

Exactly.  They will never change.

[Deeno02]

bro, I just spent this entire weekend dealing with her and the idiot narcissist. narc kept trying to act tough until I popped his frail ego a few times and then he resorted to "name the time and place" and when I did, he stopped texting. I woke up the next morning to the same stuff. I laughed and popped his ego again. same outcome-"time and place... ." once again I named it, and he finally said "I don't have time to mess with you" and then vanished for a couple of hours. their return was pretty acidic, with her sending me pics of the two of them together and me laughing at both of them. i know this is wrong to do, but i had to put him in his place and send him pics of women that i dated in the past and rubbed his face in it. he kept pushing, so i started in on his frail ego again. this resulted in death threats from both of them. i laughed and narc said "if you go to the cops then ill make you vanish." i laughed and asked him "are you a freaking magician? can you send me somewhere close to a beach?" it got out of hand, so i had to be the rational one and tell them both to stop. Monday morning i wake up to calls from him saying that i need to be prepared because he is on the way to my house. i laughed and went back to sleep. he never showed.

be thankful for no contact... .

We all get angry from time to time evilpepsi. Read my early posts about the other guy. Anger serves a purpose.

My advice. Take the high road. He doesn't have a strong sense of self.

I'm an idiot. I went snooping around on instagram and saw my replacements instagram with a picture of the ex and him together with the caption "Yeah we're def cute". 5 weeks post b/u and she's with the guy she left me for like I never existed. Ugh.

Lucky you and poor him.  You now know the legacy that awaits him when her disorder kicks in.  Now is the time to turn away and look within.  The days will be difficult but NC will be your best friend. Good luck Xidion and always remember you are way better off out of that rs.

Xidion.

I have to agree with MrConfusedWithItAll there'll be a day you'll feel sorry for him. My replacement took a problem off of my hands. He keeps the chaos away and I can tend to the kids without her blasting me everyday. Doing the parenting work and raising them in a non-dysfunctional environment and fostering their emotional health and needs.

I understand seeing the replacement is tough. There is a silver lining. Don't be hard on yourself. We're all curious.

I've seen a pic of my replacement. No where near what I look like. He's bald as hell and not even cool Bruce Willis bald. He's Friar Tuck bald. Lol... .your so right. While they didn't cheat on me, he did indeed do me a favor. Not my problem anymore.

[parisian]

Xidion, don't pick the scab bro - it only opens up the wound.

I know it is hard not to look sometimes - we would like to see our exes posting sad messages on social media about missing us or so on. If you have trouble not looking, then delete / block /do whatever you have to so you can't look anymore. If you're on a diet and don't want to eat chocolate, then don't keep chocolate in the cupboard.

The fact is, we are nothing to them now except a trigger. They can't trust us anymore. The only time we will come back into their mind is when they lack supply and think we might give them a pat on the head, some attention or some other favour. And that will happen, if we let them.

It hurts to feel you are replaced.

In reality though, staying in that relationship would have been the most awful thing. Pretending and hoping that the 'good time' idealization phase would come back is nothing but fantasy. Be thankful and grateful you have your life back, and sit back and watch the replacement crash and burn. You know they eventually will 

[peiper]

Xidion, don't pick the scab bro - it only opens up the wound.

I know it is hard not to look sometimes - we would like to see our exes posting sad messages on social media about missing us or so on. If you have trouble not looking, then delete / block /do whatever you have to so you can't look anymore. If you're on a diet and don't want to eat chocolate, then don't keep chocolate in the cupboard.

The fact is, we are nothing to them now except a trigger. They can't trust us anymore. The only time we will come back into their mind is when they lack supply and think we might give them a pat on the head, some attention or some other favour. And that will happen, if we let them.

It hurts to feel you are replaced.

In reality though, staying in that relationship would have been the most awful thing. Pretending and hoping that the 'good time' idealization phase would come back is nothing but fantasy. Be thankful and grateful you have your life back, and sit back and watch the replacement crash and burn. You know they eventually will 

Yes they will crash and burn.

[peiper]

bro, I just spent this entire weekend dealing with her and the idiot narcissist. narc kept trying to act tough until I popped his frail ego a few times and then he resorted to "name the time and place" and when I did, he stopped texting. I woke up the next morning to the same stuff. I laughed and popped his ego again. same outcome-"time and place... ." once again I named it, and he finally said "I don't have time to mess with you" and then vanished for a couple of hours. their return was pretty acidic, with her sending me pics of the two of them together and me laughing at both of them. i know this is wrong to do, but i had to put him in his place and send him pics of women that i dated in the past and rubbed his face in it. he kept pushing, so i started in on his frail ego again. this resulted in death threats from both of them. i laughed and narc said "if you go to the cops then ill make you vanish." i laughed and asked him "are you a freaking magician? can you send me somewhere close to a beach?" it got out of hand, so i had to be the rational one and tell them both to stop. Monday morning i wake up to calls from him saying that i need to be prepared because he is on the way to my house. i laughed and went back to sleep. he never showed.

be thankful for no contact... .

We all get angry from time to time evilpepsi. Read my early posts about the other guy. Anger serves a purpose.

My advice. Take the high road. He doesn't have a strong sense of self.

I'm an idiot. I went snooping around on instagram and saw my replacements instagram with a picture of the ex and him together with the caption "Yeah we're def cute". 5 weeks post b/u and she's with the guy she left me for like I never existed. Ugh.

Lucky you and poor him.  You now know the legacy that awaits him when her disorder kicks in.  Now is the time to turn away and look within.  The days will be difficult but NC will be your best friend. Good luck Xidion and always remember you are way better off out of that rs.

Xidion.

I have to agree with MrConfusedWithItAll there'll be a day you'll feel sorry for him. My replacement took a problem off of my hands. He keeps the chaos away and I can tend to the kids without her blasting me everyday. Doing the parenting work and raising them in a non-dysfunctional environment and fostering their emotional health and needs.

I understand seeing the replacement is tough. There is a silver lining. Don't be hard on yourself. We're all curious.

I've seen a pic of my replacement. No where near what I look like. He's bald as hell and not even cool Bruce Willis bald. He's Friar Tuck bald. Lol... .your so right. While they didn't cheat on me, he did indeed do me a favor. Not my problem anymore.

My replacement looks like father time and they did cheat. He might not have known it.  I do know in time he's going to pay a fare for this flight. I just wish I could watch. Bag of popcorn and a Coke giggling

[Deeno02]

bro, I just spent this entire weekend dealing with her and the idiot narcissist. narc kept trying to act tough until I popped his frail ego a few times and then he resorted to "name the time and place" and when I did, he stopped texting. I woke up the next morning to the same stuff. I laughed and popped his ego again. same outcome-"time and place... ." once again I named it, and he finally said "I don't have time to mess with you" and then vanished for a couple of hours. their return was pretty acidic, with her sending me pics of the two of them together and me laughing at both of them. i know this is wrong to do, but i had to put him in his place and send him pics of women that i dated in the past and rubbed his face in it. he kept pushing, so i started in on his frail ego again. this resulted in death threats from both of them. i laughed and narc said "if you go to the cops then ill make you vanish." i laughed and asked him "are you a freaking magician? can you send me somewhere close to a beach?" it got out of hand, so i had to be the rational one and tell them both to stop. Monday morning i wake up to calls from him saying that i need to be prepared because he is on the way to my house. i laughed and went back to sleep. he never showed.

be thankful for no contact... .

We all get angry from time to time evilpepsi. Read my early posts about the other guy. Anger serves a purpose.

My advice. Take the high road. He doesn't have a strong sense of self.

I'm an idiot. I went snooping around on instagram and saw my replacements instagram with a picture of the ex and him together with the caption "Yeah we're def cute". 5 weeks post b/u and she's with the guy she left me for like I never existed. Ugh.

Lucky you and poor him.  You now know the legacy that awaits him when her disorder kicks in.  Now is the time to turn away and look within.  The days will be difficult but NC will be your best friend. Good luck Xidion and always remember you are way better off out of that rs.

Xidion.

I have to agree with MrConfusedWithItAll there'll be a day you'll feel sorry for him. My replacement took a problem off of my hands. He keeps the chaos away and I can tend to the kids without her blasting me everyday. Doing the parenting work and raising them in a non-dysfunctional environment and fostering their emotional health and needs.

I understand seeing the replacement is tough. There is a silver lining. Don't be hard on yourself. We're all curious.

I've seen a pic of my replacement. No where near what I look like. He's bald as hell and not even cool Bruce Willis bald. He's Friar Tuck bald. Lol... .your so right. While they didn't cheat on me, he did indeed do me a favor. Not my problem anymore.

My replacement looks like father time and they did cheat. He might not have known it.  I do know in time he's going to pay a fare for this flight. I just wish I could watch. Bag of popcorn and a Coke giggling

I dont care what they do anymore. I did, and at times bugs me a little still, but god, just being removed from that chaos is a godsend. Her house has been in foreclosure for over a year, thats got to be a huge stressor still to her. She shut me out of that when we were together, didnt want the help. Whew! But not my problem anymore at all. Whatever happens to her has nothing to do with me.

[parisian]

My replacement looks like father time and they did cheat. He might not have known it.  I do know in time he's going to pay a fare for this flight. I just wish I could watch. Bag of popcorn and a Coke giggling

Lols peiper. He thinks he got a first class ticket for this flight. What he doesn't know (yet), is that he didn't get the discounted fare rate. He will end up paying peak season fare only to discover during the flight that he's in the luggage compartment and not first class... .then he'll want a refund and the service desk will be CLOSED.

A small part of me (that bit that wants Karma, revenge, those angry thoughts that sometimes surface) wants to pull up a chair, crack a beer, and watch the train smash unfold too.

Then the compassion kicks in and I think the exBPD probably has enough pain in her life being the way it is, and I think 'namaste, peace and happiness'.

In reality, I think trying to get busy making our own lives happy, enjoyable, meaningful and interesting will mean at some point, we really won't care about that train smash. Working on that now... .

[evilpepsi]

My replacement looks like father time and they did cheat. He might not have known it.  I do know in time he's going to pay a fare for this flight. I just wish I could watch. Bag of popcorn and a Coke giggling

Lols peiper. He thinks he got a first class ticket for this flight. What he doesn't know (yet), is that he didn't get the discounted fare rate. He will end up paying peak season fare only to discover during the flight that he's in the luggage compartment and not first class... .then he'll want a refund and the service desk will be CLOSED.

A small part of me (that bit that wants Karma, revenge, those angry thoughts that sometimes surface) wants to pull up a chair, crack a beer, and watch the train smash unfold too.

Then the compassion kicks in and I think the exBPD probably has enough pain in her life being the way it is, and I think 'namaste, peace and happiness'.

In reality, I think trying to get busy making our own lives happy, enjoyable, meaningful and interesting will mean at some point, we really won't care about that train smash. Working on that now... .

just tell yourself "its not my circus anymore, not my monkeys... "