I don't want to get back with him I just want to end it on good terms.
You will hear from many people here including me that you won't get the closure you're looking for from him. The main reason is you were once the soother to his emotions, something external to himself he was using to feel better when he got triggered, because he can't do it himself, and at some point you became the trigger. Which has nothing to do with you, it's just the cycle of the disorder.
The good news is you get to find a way to give yourself closure, which you will, and it will be more powerful that way; something to look forward to as you detach.
What's the best way to get through this NC approach?
Get pissed off. We have mixed emotions in these relationships, since if it was all bad we would have walked away right away and this site wouldn't be necessary. What helped me the most was to make a list of all the sht she pulled that was completely unacceptable, but lost in it I tolerated it anyway, and the list grew as the fog cleared and I got my feet on the ground a little. I'd read it as many times as necessary and fully associate to how each entry made me feel, get good and hurt and then good and pissed off, and then I wanted nothing to do with her, which is as it should be. It's just a focus shift, accentuating the bad, but I didn't need to exaggerate it, it really happened. Detachment is tough but try that; anger can be your friend right now. Take care of you!
