I feel bad for reacting bad

[NYMike]

As most of you know I have an order of protection against me.I feel terrible because of what I said and did.

She came over last Saturday night and told me everything I wanted to hear.On sunday morning she asked for 300.00 and I gave it to her.She said she will be back later,she is running home.She left at 12 noon Sunday.

At 2 PM.We were texting back and forth and it appeared she was home.On an insecure hunch I drove to her home and she was not there.I knocked on the door and the roommate said she has not been home all day.

So I texted her from her driveway.I said,hi honey how are you.She said I am cleaning and cooking.So there I am at her home and she is telling me she is home cooking and cleaning.

This is were I get in trouble.I said honey,I am at your house why can't you tell me the truth and be strait with me.

Her Response- See you don't love or care for me and never did.I don't have to tell you every single move I make.Everytime you tell me you care I believe you and then I get hurt from you because of your bull mike.Good Bye Mike,i am not putting up with this.

This is were I feel bad and need some help... .I totally lost control and ended up with a Order Of Protection

My Text... .You are a lying manipulating POS M----- F------... .

You had no right manipulating 300 bucks from me and then lying to me... .

You f---- with the wrong guy and you better watch your back

I am coming after you full force because you are killing me with all these lies,cons and manipulation.

I will be watching for you and you better watch your azz...

She then called me at 3 AM and still did not own up and she played a better game with my head.I asked were are you and she would not tell me...

I then called her a ___e.


Those scared her enough to convince the judge to give her an order of protection.She is now scared of me and I do feel terrible.

This is not me at 47 years old.That was the old mike that grew up in street gangs.So now I beat myself up for reacting in such a cruel way.I never meant to say those things but I just lost control.I could not handle it anymore.

I mean I loved this woman and did wonderful things for her but she ended up bringing out the WORST IN ME...

I did not want it to end in this mannor and now she seems to HATE ME and wants me in Prison.

Was I wrong for driving to her home.?

I am just venting because I am sorry I snapped on her like that and scared her... .It is my responsibility of why I opened the door to this OOP.I am guilty and I own this.

[Infern0]

Not an ideal reaction on your part but certainly an understandable one. I have had similar thoughts but thankful I have been able to control myself to not communicate them to her.

The "you never loved me" message sounds very familiar, I have been told that and also "every time I get close to you look what happens" (what happens is she screws it up)

 it's emotional manipulation,  she wants you to say "that's not true" etc etc. Well pretty much it was all a bait attempt and you walked into it.

Don't beat yourself up over it too much buddy,  she wanted you to react in that way,  it was a set up.

So what are you going to do now?

[NYMike]

Not an ideal reaction on your part but certainly an understandable one. I have had similar thoughts but thankful I have been able to control myself to not communicate them to her.

The "you never loved me" message sounds very familiar,  it's emotional manipulation,  she wants you to say "that's not true" etc etc. Well pretty much it was all a bait attempt and you walked into it.

Don't beat yourself up over it too much buddy,  she wanted you to react in that way,  it was a set up.

So what are you going to do now?

What do you mean emotional blackmail and why did she want me to finally snap and act that way.

Also how did I walk into the ''you never loved me'' 

As of now I have to continue T and my mens group and stay NC and hope this terrible pain gets better in time.

My T thinks she is not done with me and he predicts she will be calling good ole mike again.

[Infern0]

Not an ideal reaction on your part but certainly an understandable one. I have had similar thoughts but thankful I have been able to control myself to not communicate them to her.

The "you never loved me" message sounds very familiar,  it's emotional manipulation,  she wants you to say "that's not true" etc etc. Well pretty much it was all a bait attempt and you walked into it.

Don't beat yourself up over it too much buddy,  she wanted you to react in that way,  it was a set up.

So what are you going to do now?

What do you mean emotional blackmail and why did she want me to finally snap and act that way.

Also how did I walk into the ''you never loved me'' 

As of now I have to continue T and my mens group and stay NC and hope this terrible pain gets better in time.

My T thinks she is not done with me and he predicts she will be calling good ole mike again.

They say things like "you never loved me" because they know that the instinctual response will be "yes,  I do love you"

Her actions and messages to you are all about getting a reaction from you.

I agree with your therapist,  she will likely return at some point

[Recooperating]

Hey Mike,

Totally understand what you're going through and Im quite sure it happened to all of us.

I have never been in a fight in my life (up untill BPD crossed my path), I've never yelled at anybody, I am a total wuss! No cat fights, no nothing.

But if you heared the things that came out of my mouth towards my exBPDbf, you'd think otherwise. Not at first, but after a while manipulations, lies, accusations, rages I came to a point where I lost it too. Very unhealthy, but soo understandable. It comes from frustration, despair and mostly powerlesness. Violance (verbal or physicall) is lack of power over the situation, where you are at whitsend and do not know what to do anymore.

I am ashamed of my behavior, its so not like me! I can dwell on it, or make a point out of it NEVER to behave like that ever again and learn from it. Getting angry wont get me anywhere, if I do get angry I remove myself from the situation and take a time out. I dont have any issues now, cause I am strict NC for about 3 months and I am regaining sanity!

Dont be so hard on yourself. You made a mistake, eventhough she may gave had it coming. You now know better for next time. Considering the RO, I would advice full NC though.

Good luck to you!  

[peiper]

Mike don't beat yourself up man. Crazy and I mean CRAZY situations cause crazy reactions. Just file this away so you remember the next time she contacts you. And she will.

[Pingo]

We are only human and we all have our breaking point.  Good for you NYMike for being honest and seeing a part of you that you don't want to see again.  You know you are vulnerable (as we all are) and will be able to choose to avoid getting in that situation again.  I'm sorry that she did that to you.  Being forced to stay NC by the OOP might be a blessing in disguise.  Take care of you!

[peiper]

We are only human and we all have our breaking point.  Good for you NYMike for being honest and seeing a part of you that you don't want to see again.  You know you are vulnerable (as we all are) and will be able to choose to avoid getting in that situation again.  I'm sorry that she did that to you.  Being forced to stay NC by the OOP might be a blessing in disguise.  Take care of you!

I had a restraining order filed on me and it has turned out to be a blessing in ways. Though I'm still ticked off that it was all based on lies. My T says these individuals always show back up. He also says they always will escalate the drama :the next time. So far he's been spot on. So be careful.

[Waifed]

You reacted out of anger because your instincts were dead on. The rational thing to do would have been to cut ties with her and move on with your life. This is VERY difficult to do when you are being mentally and emotionally manipulated. I reacted very similarly (less the threats) and felt bad. 16 months later I wish I had just walked away but I don't feel bad for the way I reacted. She had it coming even though she will never realize it. I now realize that she wasn't worth all the wasted energy and pain I experienced. It is obvious now that she is no good for you. Now you need to continue working on yourself until you are strong enough to respect yourself first. You will get there in time.

[NonAverageJoe]

My Ex brought out very similar responses. Eventually we'd be having dumb fights and I would just call her stupid. I regressed in maturity while I was with her.

[Mutt]

NYMike,

My ex knew what buttons to push. I think it happens to many if not all. BPD is a difficult disorder. Don't be hard on yourself. I don't think that i can re-articulate this better so, I'll repost.

"He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee."  In Good and Evil, by Friedrich Nietzsche.  

There's a similar quote.

“When you look at the dark side, careful you must be. For the dark side looks back.”- Yoda

I became angry and resentful in the marriage. A person I am not. To myself, I gave into resentful and angry feelings because I was trying to make my voice heard with my ex and her anger triggered me. I felt like I had changed into something that I wasn't proud of, kind of looking at the dark side and becoming an angry person, that anger reflects back. I felt consumed with negative feelings.

I'm indifferent now to her anger and resentfulness. I'm emotionally disconnected and I don't give into my angry impulses. I let go of those impulses and emotions.  We trigger each other less and the cycle of conflict ends. It takes one person to break this conflict. I chose to stop by changing how I react to someone else's feelings by depersonalizing.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=236925.msg12527168#msg12527168

A goal can be to become indifferent to the behaviors. A RO is not fun or it could be the catalyst for change, there's anger and then there's bitterness.

There's wisdom in what pingo and peiper said, this may be a blessing in disguise. A chance to emotionally detach and depersonalize her behaviors.

I hope that helps.

--Mutt

[Xidion]

I said some mean things to my ex after she left me for someone else. I told her that she was the worst thing that ever happened to me. She said some pretty harsh things as well, telling me that my replacement was an upgrade. I told her that she should really look into BPD and study it. I have a feeling she knows what she has, she was in school for mental health () but she changed majors.  She simply responded with, "you need to get help". I told her that she couldn't hurt me anymore because her opinion of me no longer mattered.

[NonAverageJoe]

I think I hastened my replacement by dumping her when I did. She told me she could do better than me, yeah perhaps the relationship had dragged me down, her lies had dragged me down and yet I was fighting back up before things were done and that E2-E3 has never made 5-9grand a month in his life.

Meanwhile I now have three jobs working on a career transition.

[Splitblack4good]

As most of you know I have an order of protection against me.I feel terrible because of what I said and did.

She came over last Saturday night and told me everything I wanted to hear.On sunday morning she asked for 300.00 and I gave it to her.She said she will be back later,she is running home.She left at 12 noon Sunday.

At 2 PM.We were texting back and forth and it appeared she was home.On an insecure hunch I drove to her home and she was not there.I knocked on the door and the roommate said she has not been home all day.

So I texted her from her driveway.I said,hi honey how are you.She said I am cleaning and cooking.So there I am at her home and she is telling me she is home cooking and cleaning.

This is were I get in trouble.I said honey,I am at your house why can't you tell me the truth and be strait with me.

Her Response- See you don't love or care for me and never did.I don't have to tell you every single move I make.Everytime you tell me you care I believe you and then I get hurt from you because of your bull mike.Good Bye Mike,i am not putting up with this.

This is were I feel bad and need some help... .I totally lost control and ended up with a Order Of Protection

My Text... .You are a lying manipulating POS M----- F------... .

You had no right manipulating 300 bucks from me and then lying to me... .

You f---- with the wrong guy and you better watch your back

I am coming after you full force because you are killing me with all these lies,cons and manipulation.

I will be watching for you and you better watch your azz...

She then called me at 3 AM and still did not own up and she played a better game with my head.I asked were are you and she would not tell me...

I then called her a ___e.


Those scared her enough to convince the judge to give her an order of protection.She is now scared of me and I do feel terrible.

This is not me at 47 years old.That was the old mike that grew up in street gangs.So now I beat myself up for reacting in such a cruel way.I never meant to say those things but I just lost control.I could not handle it anymore.

I mean I loved this woman and did wonderful things for her but she ended up bringing out the WORST IN ME...

I did not want it to end in this mannor and now she seems to HATE ME and wants me in Prison.

Was I wrong for driving to her home.?

I am just venting because I am sorry I snapped on her like that and scared her... .It is my responsibility of why I opened the door to this OOP.I am guilty and I own this.

NYmike I can compleatly relate to this . The last 2 big arguments I had with my ex BPDgf I ended up doing the exact same thing I ended up shouting at her so loud and said so many menacing things to her out of sheer frustration and built up anger ! Again not my character or even in my nature at 34 Id never been like that and now she says she is scared of me and uses it against me and an excuse to not reconcile and most hurtful of all she says my replacement doesn't do that he is gentle and kind !

And yer made me feel so bad but that's the BPD at work she projected all her internal anger on me and I used it externally . One of the last things we discussed before I left the house after we decided break was that incident and she admits she pushes it but said it in such a way that admits it but doesn't know she's doing it at the time .

2 days after this she was triggerd and abandonment fears in over drive I rang her coz missed her and she made false accusations against me (testing me) and like you said so many nasty things again and ended it ! I failed tests big time ! But the fact she admitted it in one sense 24 hours prior to this then tested me again just to make sure ! Now she is with a new guy and it's killing me . Yesturday was my step daughters 11th birthday that kid adored me and even called me dad ! I text my ex to ask if she could wish her happy birthday for me and got no response what so ever ! That really is it now final straw with my ex I'm not even gona call her or rise to it now  I'm done  with her gona cut all ties and communication.

[downwhim]

Mike,

They bring out the worst in us and honestly give us no choice but to go nuts. Here is someone we loved at one time and they lie, cheat and manipulate us and keep us off balance.

I am full of resentment. I have been N/C for over 9 weeks and I have no place to put this unresolved anger. I try hard to control it and realize I will look back one day and see the rollercoaster ride is not worth the price of admission. So I appear cool on the outside but am boiling with the way I was treated on the inside.

These BPD's feed off of the chaos they create. Hang in there, brush yourself off and start again. N/C.

[hope2727]

I feel bad for the way I reacted sometimes too. A really close friend explained it to me last night. He told me that disordered people push and push us until we react so that then they can say "see how crazy/violent/irrational/unreasonable or whatever s/he is?"  It justifies their own bad behaviour.

[FlyingAway]

NYMike, I had a similar experience during my last conversation with my xBPD. She'd driven me over the bend so many times over the past few years, especially during the recycles. She was in a relationship with a man from another state, where she was living for several months, but she would never admit it, continually doing the push-pull alternating with the silent treatment.

I thought I was losing my mind, and that I was going crazy, so I started to write her words and behaviors down. One day during a phone conversation where she coldly told me that she was sorry, and that she had empathy for my pain, something clicked, and I started to investigate BPD (a close friend had suggested I research the behaviors). I finally felt like I'd cracked the code.

She called me a week or so later to tell me how much she was going to miss her new lover. I cracked. I told her she was a stalker, and related incidences. I told her she was sick, that her parents were sick. I recounted the time she publicly humiliated a work colleague. I told her that I thought she felt empty inside, and that I believed that she had suicidal tendencies. I was raging, though I didn't swear at her. Just spewed it all out, like I was on some kind of fury-drug.

This was in mid-October. I told her I was blocking her, and we haven't had contact since. She knows that I know her dark truths, and I doubt that she'll contact me again. It's incredibly painful, and I wish it wouldn't have ended so painfully. I wish I would have taken the higher road. But she pushed me into a corner. I'd held it all in for too long, and it was bound to come out. So I'm working on forgiving myself.

My therapist told me that I gave her the gift of crazy. Which is what she wanted all along. I'd been her mirror, and I mirrored back. He said he was proud of me--"you gave her the gift of crazy, and then you resigned the position."

I wish you the very best as you work through this struggle with yourself, NYM.

[Infared]

Mike,

They bring out the worst in us and honestly give us no choice but to go nuts. Here is someone we loved at one time and they lie, cheat and manipulate us and keep us off balance.

I am full of resentment. I have been N/C for over 9 weeks and I have no place to put this unresolved anger. I try hard to control it and realize I will look back one day and see the rollercoaster ride is not worth the price of admission. So I appear cool on the outside but am boiling with the way I was treated on the inside.

These BPD's feed off of the chaos they create. Hang in there, brush yourself off and start again. N/C.

I love what you said... .yes... I am a decent, honest, faithful person. My ex lied to me, cheated on me (could have been repeatedly, I will never know)... .and she secures another relationship behind my back that she is running off to and proceeds to tell all the things that "I" was doing wrong. At first I listened and felt horrible about me... .but as time went on and the truth unfolded I see that I was the only one who was even in the relationship. 100%!

At first it was painful... .but now I love me for that!

[Shibuya]

My exBPDgf would use all the deep personal things I told her against me. She knew these things hit close to home to me and she used it as ammo to push my buttons. I'm a really chill relaxed kind of guy, but what she did was so extreme that I completely lost it. I've never felt so much anger towards someone in my life until her. Shed kept doing this every night drunk. I lost it and what sucks is that I said all these mean things on her voicemail... .NEVER leave anything on a voicemail. it was used against me to all her friends and family. lucky enough that all her friends know me really well and i've had some of them as roommates while in other relationships. They were confused as to why I would say that, but in the end, they love being a victim and love the sympathy people give them to feel loved. So dont feel bad. we've been there.

[Visitor]

Don't listen to the crap these crazies come out with at the end of the relationship. They are master manipulators and they know how to get a person angry so they can leave that person feeling shamed.

You can't change the past and the important thing is to take a lesson form this and not to let it happen again.

One of my favourite quotes is from Genghis Khan of all people... .

"an action comitted in anger is an action doomed to failure"

The only negative that has come from your reaction is your BPD partner has now been given amunition for a smear campaign.

The biggest lesson that has come from this is the same one we all went through. Do not get involved with a disordered person. Do not try to change them and do not change yourself to be with them.

There are plenty of normal girls out there ready to give you love. Chalk this up to experience and start working on WHY you ended up with this girl and WHY she was able to manipulate you in such a way.

STAY AWAY FROM DISORDERED PEOPLE THEY ARE ONLY TROUBLE!

[MrConfusedWithItAll]

They really do put a grenade to your self esteem.  And just as it begins to reform they come along and throw in a stick of TNT.  It really hurts.  Turn away, look within and move on.

[NYMike]

Mike,

They bring out the worst in us and honestly give us no choice but to go nuts. Here is someone we loved at one time and they lie, cheat and manipulate us and keep us off balance.

I am full of resentment. I have been N/C for over 9 weeks and I have no place to put this unresolved anger. I try hard to control it and realize I will look back one day and see the rollercoaster ride is not worth the price of admission. So I appear cool on the outside but am boiling with the way I was treated on the inside.

These BPD's feed off of the chaos they create. Hang in there, brush yourself off and start again. N/C.

Yes.You now how I am feeling.

I just snapped 10 days ago and could not take it anymore.I am so Resentful.I am NC 10 DAYS.

I too appear cool on the outside but I am burning inside with ANGER towards how she led me down a dark road of betrayal.She lied to me and even manipulated money from me.

I found out she was trying lock in another ''deal'' behind my back and using me and my money to do this.She was also using friends to lock this ''deal''.I EXPOSED HER and told her couple friends and she hates me for it.

I blew the whole ''game'' wide open and she ended up in a bad spot.So I am the cause of her life being in shambles.100% NYMIKE

[Infared]

The best thing we can do for ourselves is to PERMANENTLY remove ourselves from the abusive drama. If we CHOOSE to stay in this or return to it the only thing it shows is how unhealthy we are.

If you go completely no contact. Completely. You have a shot at healing and the problem is gone. It requires the Big-Boy Pants (and lots of support), but it is the only solution to the repeated nightmare that we have willingly signed onto.

Trust me. I have suffered as you have. I was dealing with an extremely sick person. The emotional pain I suffered cutting off all ties, forever... .well... .it almost killed me. ... .but  I eventually got through it. I seeked support and guess what... .I found that there is tons out there. I wish I had known about this website then, too. What a great help it is.

Mike... .fall down, get up, forgive yourself and move forward. You can do this.

[ShadowIntheNight]

I let her have it on a voicemail. She broke up in a typewritten note she stuck in my birthday card wishing me "consistent happiness," (cue rolling eyes). After I received it, I called her, she didn't answer the phone and I let her have it with a gun she's never heard from me. Heck, I'd never heard it from me. I was so incensed that I let her have it. I was tired of her "I can't be gay!" after us being together 9.5 years. Two weeks after I calmed down I was mortified of my behavior and finally in November got the chance to apologize if even by email. Naturally she accepted it but never mentioned how all of her actions from June to August had precipitated it. But my conscience is clear now because I regretted my outburst and said so. She, however has yet to apologize for lying, cheating, and using me. I don't enjoy going off the deep end like that. I rarely lose my temper over anything. She knew it. Even her worst actions during the 9.5 years never caused me to break. However insulting me the way she did was just too much.

Having said that I know, and I know she knows, she won't ever meet anyone like me, certainly no one who will be as loving and kind as me. And I doubt that she'll meet anyone with my resources either. But her loss. We haven't spoken since June. The whole thing is so stupid it's ridiculous. Since she hasn't had my deep pockets taking care of her this Fall, I'm pretty sure she's had to work her butt off. I on the other hand have been able to stay at home and not have to be out in the world so I can feel the pain.

People like her who do the things they do to good hearted people rarely come out better off. It's why many of my friends and T think that I havent heard the last from her. Heck, the only reason we aren't speaking now is because she's is probably scared of talking to me because I'm pretty sure she's been thinking what the heck did I do to myself. Even in her "breakup letter" she closed it by saying "if you want me to send you photos of the boys in their activities, let me know." Shutting the door with one hand while grabbing it to keep it open with the other. Typical.

[NYMike]

I let her have it on a voicemail. She broke up in a typewritten note she stuck in my birthday card wishing me "consistent happiness," (cue rolling eyes). After I received it, I called her, she didn't answer the phone and I let her have it with a gun she's never heard from me. Heck, I'd never heard it from me. I was so incensed that I let her have it. I was tired of her "I can't be gay!" after us being together 9.5 years. Two weeks after I calmed down I was mortified of my behavior and finally in November got the chance to apologize if even by email. Naturally she accepted it but never mentioned how all of her actions from June to August had precipitated it. But my conscience is clear now because I regretted my outburst and said so. She, however has yet to apologize for lying, cheating, and using me. I don't enjoy going off the deep end like that. I rarely lose my temper over anything. She knew it. Even her worst actions during the 9.5 years never caused me to break. However insulting me the way she did was just too much.

Having said that I know, and I know she knows, she won't ever meet anyone like me, certainly no one who will be as loving and kind as me. And I doubt that she'll meet anyone with my resources either. But her loss. We haven't spoken since June. The whole thing is so stupid it's ridiculous. Since she hasn't had my deep pockets taking care of her this Fall, I'm pretty sure she's had to work her butt off. I on the other hand have been able to stay at home and not have to be out in the world so I can feel the pain.

People like her who do the things they do to good hearted people rarely come out better off. It's why many of my friends and T think that I havent heard the last from her. Heck, the only reason we aren't speaking now is because she's is probably scared of talking to me because I'm pretty sure she's been thinking what the heck did I do to myself. Even in her "breakup letter" she closed it by saying "if you want me to send you photos of the boys in their activities, let me know." Shutting the door with one hand while grabbing it to keep it open with the other. Typical.

I was just thinking about this today.She will be hard pressed to meet a man like me and the sensitive love and care I gave her.She will miss my resources also.She never had a guy like me.The ones before were cruel,dirty and drunks and dopers.

I work part time and I am established.I gave her FREE RIDE here.Now she will have to kill herself at work.She is at her sisters with nothing and lost everything.

I hate to sound stuck up but she tossed away one hell of a good man.I do hope someday she regrets who she did me.

[mstnghu]

I can't even count on all my fingers how many times I've lost my cool with my wife and completely cussed her out... .and I regret it every single time. BUT, and it's a big BUT, she is the only person on this planet that can push me to that point. I always feel guilty about being nasty to her but at the same time, it was because she acted HORRIBLY at me in the first place.

The fact is, WE are not the problem and we wouldn't be acting this way if the BPD people in our life didn't work so hard to pull this side out  of us. My wife definitely brings out the worst parts of me on a regular basis with her irrational behavior. The other day I downloaded a new Iphone app that records crystal clear speech, even at very low volume. I've tested it. I plan to use it from now on during her blowouts and dysregulation so I can document just how unbelievable the things my wife says and does to me are.

[ShadowIntheNight]

NYMike, it's not conceited. She'll never find a better man (or woman when she decides she isn't straight anymore) than me (we were a lesbian couple, til we weren't). Facts are facts. We didn't live in the same city, but my schedule was whatever hers was. I took care of all of our travel arrangements, coming and going. All she had to do was pack a bag and go to the airport or wait for me to pick her up. She and her kids were sick, I'd order food over the Internet and have it delivered to her there. But I expect that she's managed to do her best to forget all of that. Hopefully her memories and the fact that she might have a conscience will get the best of her and she'll realize what she's done. Based on having received a dozen PRIVATE NUMBER calls that hang up on me since September I'd say she's known it for quite a few months.

Having said that, my biggest regret is losing my temper the way I did, because even though I was even tempered throughout our 9.5 years together, that single action has allowed her to scapegoat me as the reason why she left. Actually back in Nov I googled "exgf scapegoats me after breakup" and all the links that came up were either Narcissism or BPD. When I read the forums on this site it was like the mystery in my head of what could have possibly happened to make her leave was solved. Of course she is a uBPDexgf, but her behavior has become so clear. She is a therapist herself. And either she knows she is borderline and has never said or she is in complete denial because I know she knows what the disorder is.

[hope2727]

I can't even count on all my fingers how many times I've lost my cool with my wife and completely cussed her out... .and I regret it every single time. BUT, and it's a big BUT, she is the only person on this planet that can push me to that point. I always feel guilty about being nasty to her but at the same time, it was because she acted HORRIBLY at me in the first place.

The fact is, WE are not the problem and we wouldn't be acting this way if the BPD people in our life didn't work so hard to pull this side out  of us. My wife definitely brings out the worst parts of me on a regular basis with her irrational behavior. The other day I downloaded a new Iphone app that records crystal clear speech, even at very low volume. I've tested it. I plan to use it from now on during her blowouts and dysregulation so I can document just how unbelievable the things my wife says and does to me are.

And the name of that app is?

[hurting300]

Mike, I feel bad too. She lied a lot. Talked about me behind my back... but I could have kept my mouth shut... but sometimes you just get tired of it and call them out. Nothing wrong with a normal reaction to an abnormal situation.

[hope2727]

Mike, I feel bad too. She lied a lot. Talked about me behind my back... but I could have kept my mouth shut... but sometimes you just get tired of it and call them out. Nothing wrong with a normal reaction to an abnormal situation.

I agree on holding people accountable for their actions I  Just wish I hadn't lost my temper doing it. I wish i could have kept my cool and been polite. SET helped a lot with that the last time I saw him. Now I am going to use it in all high conflict situations.