still dreaming of him

[Left broken and confused]

It seems at least once or twice a week I dream about my ex and I really hate it. Today I woke up with the feeling that he will never hold me again and it gives me anxiety before my day even starts. I really hate this sick to my stomach feeling I get. I wish all the memories would just go away :'(

[misty_red]

I know this sounds stupid but be glad you are able to memorize. Dreaming about your ex means your brain is working, it's healing, it's processing the things that had happened to you. It's better that way than to block out all the memories. If you'd be able do to that, well, you'd never really heal. I know it ___ing hurts especially if you dream about them and then wake up and remember this was just a dream... .and dreams can be so annoyingly real. I had that as well. But think about it that way: we are able to process and heal, therefore our brain has to do its job properly. It's just a sign that it really is processing.

BPDs aren't really able to process, the avoid being in pain and try to block it out, that's what makes them do the things they're doing. But we are able to even bear the hurt and pain and we should accept our feelings. It's the only way to heal I think.

I used to dream about my ex after the break up very often. Some weeks every day. Now it's only two to three times per month. Just listen to your subconsciousness and trust that it's getting better.

[CloseToFreedom]

I have the same thing. Often dreaming about her, she being very kind (which she only was in the honeymoon phases after we got back together again). Totally in love in those dreams. And then waking up, slowly realising it was just a dream. Yeah, it sucks, and its a horrible way to start the day.

But like misty_red says, this is how your brain is processing the loss. The dreams will get less intense and they will happen less. Just give it time.

[billypilgrim]

It does get better.  I'm two months out and while I still dream about her, I'm not dreaming about her on a nightly basis as I was after she first left.  The dreams have also shifted from being mostly about the girl I thought she was to the girl she actually is.  And while dreaming about her at all is a crappy way to start the day, it's good that your brain is processing things. 

As most have said, it's good to dream.  It seems counterintuitive but your brain is working things out.  And the stomach issues will get better too.  Stay tough and take care of yourself.  Let yourself grieve and dream.  You'll start to heal and the dreams will be less and less frequent and less and less real.

[Elpis]

I think I posted about this same issue weeks ago--i'm ten months out from leaving and I dreamed so often about my uBPDh. There were lots of good dreams about being happy together, and some about feeling like I had no choices, all the different things i'd experienced during our years together. Though we were usually younger in my dreams!

I remember being freshly out of the house and going out for lunch with some friends and having an anxiety attack about not ever being with him again, but that has faded in time as Truth has revealed the underlying reality of our relationship.

It's all normal when we're going through the separation from someone who we were so deeply entangled with, even if it was in an unhealthy way.

You'll get there! The Truth will speak to your heart, and you will heal.